I have these scars on my heart, my hand and my back
I'm writing your name like it is the alphabet
Carved on my back
making me bleed and feel like crap.

Trying to make you permanent
although you never will be
You always disappear before I can get a hold
You were never there when I needed you the most
You left me there, lying on the cold floor
You promised you wouldn't hurt me
or never ever leave me.
Why did you go?
You promised me.

I should have known,
should have listened to the people that were there for me.
I gave myself to you.
I thought you were the one.

It makes me scream
makes me cry
makes my head hurt
makes me want to die.

I trusted you
I loved you
I gave you my all.
But you were there long enough to take it
and watch me fall.

I love you,
I hate you.
I need you,
I don't want you.

You used to be the sunshine
but now you are the lightning that strikes
and pains me deep in my heart.

And that's how I'm going to die
By being broken inside.

*-c.a.

Rainbows
Unicorns
The things I desire
I lie down but I'm not tired
I do this so I can let my mind wander
It always goes to the same place
but nothing is always the same
The unicorns here are pink
never white nor black
the rainbows are filled with colors you can't even imagine
but never white nor black
the trees in my fantasy
are made up of delicious cotton candy

In my fantasy
the roads are rocky road ice cream
and the people are the sweetest sour patch kids
this is my fantasy
the things I dream of
I wish my fantasy was reality
but would never want this reality to be my fantasy
because I would be scared to go to sleep.

*-c.a.

there's you
and then there's me.

there's a supermodel blonde you
and then there's average brown me.

there's a hourglass shaped you
and then there's a circle shaped me.

there's a beautiful happy you
and then there's just me.

*-c.a.