I
Have never really understood how human emotions, the human brain, the human heart, and the chemical imbalances in our bodies work. I didn't understand it as a kid, and to this day, I still don't, it
Wasn't
Logical to me, how one day someone could mean the world to you, and the next day they've thrown you to the curb, and I'm just
Supposed
To know how to fix everything, how to become the perfect human being. How to fit into there perfect little vision of how they imagine, how they dream you
To
Be, when in reality... I'm trying to alter myself for that one person. Trying to impress that one person so they don't think that I'm a failure. I find myself constantly fixing myself to their perfect illusion so I don't fail them, so they don't
Fall
Out of love with me, I never notice how they were changing me. That they were changing multiple aspects about me. Yet, I noticed how I still didn't seem to fit
In
That silly little illusion that their mind had sculpted of me. I then began to get aggravated and question what love is, what is it!? What is
Love
I spent days, week, months, aggravated, ripping up notes I had written, pictures I had taken, turning over tables, so frustrated as to why any of the individual id fancied in my life couldn't fall in love
With
Me, what was wrong with me? Why could I be loved. I spent hours trying to find this answer. I never seemed to find it, until someone came into my life,
You
It was you who showed me I could indeed be loved, even with every dark side that is stitched into my chemical make up. I still ponder as to how someone as lovely as you could fall in love with me. Though, I won't doubt it. Like I said, you're different from the others in my life.