it
still
hurts

You and I are piles of skin and bones
Wrapped in linens to protect us
From getting holes
I'll follow you through your ever venture
Blue eyes pierce me like the icicles we strolled past
As I fell marvelously in love with you
Golden tips to the nuts and bolts
Of a crying, perfect, hopeless disease
I'm calling this sensation what it is
(Remind me to tell you in the morning.)

blotted out the words that didn't make sense;
you made the blots into depictions of our baroque mindset

It's nights like this
When I'm alone in bed:
There's no stress and nobody around,
Nothing to pretend to be.
I'm just me: nocturnally silent
And scared to death of the future,
knowing you're out there in the world
Couting on me to make the right choice.
This is when I know I'm ready.

I don't even know who I am anymore.
I used to count on my hands to do
The right thing,
My tongue to say
The right thing,
My heart to feel
The right thing.
Suddenly everything is jumbled;
I realize maybe it was months ago
When things started to change,
When the vines began to wrap around themselves
In my head.
Nothing quite makes sense the way you do.
I don't know how to verbalize my thoughts
Or even analyze them so I can tell myself
What would be
The right thing.

Underneath all the things I say
And underneath the facade of it all,
There's part of me that finally feels like it fits in
With the other parts of me
After being lost for probably years.
I like the way you scrunch your nose
When you smile,
And the way you laugh when you kiss me.
I'm so used to being focused
I forgot that sometimes being interrupted is
Precisely
What I need.
I don't want to be frustrated anymore,
And I'm realizing I was frustrated
For far too long.
I was right back in September when I said
You made me feel like I wasn't so tied down.
And your laugh,
It's like I'm waking up from a dream,
Remembering that things are better
Outside of my head.
Out here,
With you,
This feels like the right thing.

when your sinking thoughts drag you down,
i want to be the one to wipe the tears
from your cheeks

I'm too tired lately to describe my emotions in full. But I'll say this: just know as I'm falling asleep tonight, I'll be thinking of your blue eyes staring up at the sky. And every winter from here on forth, the first snowfall is dedicated to you. Every time I see those dazzling flakes cascade through the foggy breeze, I'll sing Earth Angel in my head and think of your eyelashes catching the frosted lace. I'll think of those same lashes brushing my cheek and I'll think of your quiet laugh telling me how you love butterfly kisses. I'll think over you and hundred times over before I lean in and kiss you right in the wintertime madness, because there's no way I'm spending another snowfall without you.

feel like my story was written for you to read
I don't want to separate you from the parts of me that make me breathe
And I kept feeling like you were somewhere in the world
I had no idea that the world was actually somewhere inside you