I didn't mean to make the stars bleed from the palms of their hands.
You just touched me so gently,
I forgot what it was like to tip toe
On the shoreline
Where my wrongdoings match the tide of my indifference.
And I'm sure somewhere inside the caverns of my chaotic senses,
There's an image of you that stirs the wavelengths of my consciousness,
And gives me the breath that revives my sleeping pulse.

You told me how my Polaroid works,
How the chemicals press themselves
Across the film
And how the light developes the colors.

You told me how to fix the AC
In my old beat up cougar,
And how to ***** on the broken door
That fell from my entertainment center.

You even told me I could fix myself,
As if you ever knew a thing about living
With a drum in your bones so loud
It awakes you in a cold sweat
Just when you thought
Monsters didn't exist anymore.

But you couldn't tell me
Why you can't mend your heartstrings,
Why your skin is always calloused
And scraped and rough
(Like a man's, you said,
Like a real man's).

You couldn't tell me the first step
To the easy fix of mending
Everything you've broken.
All you could tell me was
"I don't feel pain.
I don't feel pain."

I'm tired, honey
I want to kiss you in the bottom
Of my blankets
Make you bloom like the sunflowers,
Palms open towards the sky
Singing "I'm ready for you, life;
I'm ready for you, life."

Part of me believes it's all fiction, the way you touched the small of my back and pulled me in like we were magnets. And the other half of me walks the streets of my bare and empty pages, staring at unmarked trains, wishing I could fill those pages with our story and the trains with our initials tied in a heart. I want to be a character in make believe; I want your hand right in mine like a timeless saga. I want fiction to be real and I want the two sides of me to be pulled together in the spine of a paper back romance.

I've found that I never want to sleep. This is nothing new -
I just miss hearing your voice 
In the early hours of the morning,
So deep in the night 
Even the wind ceases 
To shake the trees
And stir the quiet leaves. 
I miss having someone 
During this hour, 
Someone to remind me 
There is life beyond my wide eyes.

It's one thirty p.m.,
And twelve hours ago, 
I was half-asleep on the couch,
Wishing I could be more
Than one foot in
And one foot out.