Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
ren Jan 2014
I feel a blanket of warmth
Over both of us
And I feel all these people
Trying to make me feel better
Are nothing but instruments
In which God tries to express His love to me.
I think of all the things in my future
And all the things I have ahead of me
And I can't think of a place on Earth
That I'd rather be,
That I would rather have my children be
Because when my baby is fifteen years old
And crying on the ground,
I want your children
Around comforting her
And I want your child to be there
Making jokes about her
Trying to make her laugh
And I want there to be that girl
In her math class who stands up to the kids
Making fun of her
For not understanding the problem.
I want that girl to be just like you
When we are sitting a desk apart
Laughing at the lesson together
Though we're hardly friends outside the class.
You make me feel alright
Because you are God's love for me.
God's love is that boy
Who is as much my brother as my real brothers,
Is that girl who smiles at me in the hallway,
Is the friend that tells me I look nice
When I try to.
You are God's love when you make faces
At me through the window
That separates our classrooms.
You are God's love when
You hit my shoulder in a brotherly way
As your choir sings about
Having a shoulder to cry on.
And though it may seem impossible
I know that I am surrounded by all these people
Who are God's love
And I hope that I am too.
ren Jan 2014
When I look at things I used to care about
(And I suppose I still do care about them,
In a way I could never be able to explain),
And feel nostalgia
For my old feelings;
For the way I felt about you,
I think of sitting unhappily
In the corner of the room,
Trying to read God's words
(But my tears blur them),
And I look up to see you there
You're still there
(You're always there),
And you sigh at me,
Not knowing how you feel
Because how could you possibly?
I make a face at you through my tears
Because I am brave
And I want to lose myself in making you happy
(Not only because I'm told it will make me happy)
But also because I genuinely and sincerely
Want you to be okay
Because I cannot imagine the way
You must be feeling
And all I do know is that
You are the sweetest thing,
Coming up to me and trying to make me feel okay
And we comfort one another
In an effort to feel okay.
Before I can ever truly feel upset
You're making me feel better
And I know that humiliation and self-hate
Have no power on me
When I feel the love God has for me
And for you.
ren Jan 2014
In times like this
When I've been run over by a truck
Carrying all my worries
And I'm lying on the concrete
Feeling empty and hollow,
Wondering why on earth
These things would happen to me;
Why it hurts so badly
To watch all these people I love feel
Such terrible and tragic feelings
And never being able to escape
Feeling any of it,
I think of resting in your car
As you're taking me home.
Though the day has been so stressful
And I'm not sure how I possibly survived
The frustration and humiliation
I'd just endured,
I feel nothing nothing but whole
As Coldplay is dancing out of your speakers
And we're singing along;
Our minds far away,
Thinking of other things.
We feel just fine.
In fact, we feel nothing but
Whole
And alive
And okay,
Knowing in the end
The only important thing is the way we feel
At this moment.
I find myself wishing I could feel this way always
Because there aren't any better feelings
Than feeling whole and complete.
ren Jan 2014
You hugged me today.
Which is fine I suppose-
There's nothing harmful in itself.
But I've heard it said
It's the principle of the thing that counts.
I am not afraid of a silly hug;
I'm not afraid of your touch.
I'm only afraid of this hug
Because a hug is a key.
Once you've hugged,
You've touched.
And touching is a dangerous thing.
Hugging is a dangerous key.
A key to open a door;
A touch that leads to more.  
A hug is vulnerable.
A hug is close.
Once you've been close,
Close becomes far,
And when close becomes far,
Close becomes closer
And far becomes further.
When you get too close
You begin to hurt.
And nobody likes to hurt.
So you see,
I'm afraid of this hug.
ren Jan 2014
Do I really mean a thing to you?
Do you speak of me
The way I speak of you?
I used to have these reckless thoughts.
What if I suddenly stopped?
My pulse still,
My thoughts dead.
What sorts of things would
Run through your head?
Have you ever been certain
Today is your last day?
You can't explain why,
But you know you'll fade away.
ren Jan 2014
Let's you and me
Be an adventure.
We could be just like kites,
Soaring through the clouds,
Seeking no refuge
Because we've sought it
In each other's eyes.
ren Jan 2014
If only you knew
About the things I put myself through.
If only you knew
About the nights I lie awake,
Wondering if things will be okay.
If only you knew
The way it feels when you push me away.
Next page