as the smoke traveled between our mouths in a sensual dance,
i knew he was the one i wanted to spend late nights,
and early mornings with,
huddled together under his cheap,
wool comforter,
his favorite flannel hung carelessly on my figure,
and my favorite perfume left forever attached to his pillows.

i sat outside under the willow one day,
and saw you walking by.

the blunt hang loosely on your lips,
which i found my gaze drawn to.
they were a bit chapped,
but oh so plump,
and very red.

what would it feel like to have those lips caress my skin?

would i enjoy the ridges made from your teeth pulling at the flesh gently?

would i giggle at their softness grazing my shoulder blade?

would i melt as you whispered ***** secrets into my ear, whilst taking me to another world entirely?

i didn't have to wonder much longer because before i knew it,
your lips touched mine.

i didn't feel sparks though.

instead i felt an overwhelming warmth flushing my cheeks,
and curling my toes,
causing my being to go numb,
in a passionate frenzy.

i think i'm in love.

i was hoping it wasn't true,
all those rumors about you.

the way you treat girls like dolls,
break their hearts,
and laugh as their tears fall.

how you touched that girl,
made her feel special,
then left her,
after you got what you wanted.

i closed my eyes and shook my head,
my heart beating way to fast,
then tumbling out of my chest,
leaving me feeling dead.

how could you?

how could you watch as she weeped,
and not feel anything.

i thought you were a good boy,
but no,
you are a very, very bad one

even the worst villains can appear to be heroes,
all they need is naive citizens to believe their every word.

Having the urge to crumble, but instead trying to stay strong.

Everything seems blurry, until you release the tears you've been holding in.

All the memories come streaming back, forcing you to remember the good times.

Repeating the words, "I don't need you." constantly.

The way you can literally feel that rib-splitting ache in your chest as they say goodbye.

Bonding yourself back together with time.

Reliving all the experiences you've had with them, but this time reminiscing with a smile.

Explaining to a new someone how that old someone broke your heart.

A** moment in time where you look into your new someone's eyes and fall back into passionate love.

Kite flying in the park with that new someone wrapped around you, and the thought of that old someone pushed back into the crevices of your mind.

for once in my life,
can i be the girl who finally gets the guy?

i keep telling myself that i don't want you,
and that you'd never want me,
but once i finally move on,
i see your face and it's all over.