I hope
i smell your cologne
and little bit of sweat from hard work

as you carry me through the last finish line

but knowing you

it’ll likely be a scramble against the blockades
yelling at me as I fall
to get up

on hands and knees

to finish one more mile

because you knew I could
push through it all
without you

She laughed
“There you are”
like I was tucked under covers or hiding around the corner
like I didn’t emerge with blood soaked hands
having fought tooth and nail

I found you she squealed
reaching out for me

and god did I drop
with nothing short of relief

Because to come back to her little laugh
and find her effortless grin

I could finally remind her
or maybe it was me
her confidence came
from that little me.

how do you showcase
that it’s not just the success metric
the ache roiling within

It’s that running became safety
a reclamation
a chant
a war cry

Droplets of who I was
bit by bit
Lost in the same few miles

and compressed
through blood
through screams
and loose gravel

stripping seven layers of skin
or maybe just hell

dying to the flame
to the fear
no small deaths for me

to become
nothing
but
I am

safety is not always comfort
and comfort is not always safety

but he was home.

and I was a stop along the way.

she was something
no
is something
to behold
to touch
to make beg and shake and groan
to laugh into a sugar cookie
or four
and whisper the recipe across her bones

she was something
no
she is mine

“I guess I fumbled this didn’t I”

and thank god I knew enough to pause
and take eighty four steps back
because what would’ve had me leaping into a pit
of guilt tipped spears

had me giggling
miles away
because darling you already know the answer

and are hoping
I’ll bite

it’s funny how something
that started barely as flickers
can become enthralling
with a single hello
misspelt
with nerves
and unbridled excitement

sprinting
like the wildfire

well see who gets farther