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 Apr 2014 Carsyn Smith
Kareena
I am flooded by a new sensation,
An overwhelming peace
That gains strength with the rise and fall,
Of your chest, while you're laying next to me.

Your eyes are soft, your breath is easy
This moment, forever, I want to keep.
But slowly you slip away into the night
While I'm pretending I'm asleep

The bed suddenly loses its source of warmth
And it's you, now, that I miss.
But I maintain my sleepy facade
And wait for your goodnight kiss

It's soft, tender, and sweet
As your lips graze across my skin
Your touch leaves me in amazement
And I'm smiling from within

Now I'm left, all alone
To be covered by a dreamy slumber
But how can I give in so easily
When it's your spell I'm under?

Goodnight will never truly be good
Until you can pause and stay
No, goodnight will never really be good
Until I wake to your face at day.
For someone special
 Apr 2014 Carsyn Smith
Kareena
You know it's real friendship
When you can make a face at them
From across the room
And your thoughts are transferred to them

And you know it's real friendship
When you communicate fully
Through unintelligible groans
And mumbling sentence fragments

And it is definitely real friendship
When you can have those 2 a.m. conversations
Whether sitting together at a sleepover
Or talking on the phone
Because you are both feeling pensive
And have those 2 a.m. epiphanies about life

I know we're real friends because you inspire me
You, with your persevering nature
Your beautiful smile and interesting perspective on life
I couldn't think of a better friend to have

So thank you, real friend
Because I have never laughed the hardest over nothing
Or cried the hardest over something
With anyone better
For Brooke
I love how hard it is for all of us to accept ourselves,
Putting on elaborate masks,
To go parading amongst the phonies.
I love how we all talk to and about each other,
But never try to repair the broken relationships,
But what I love the most is
how we all complain about our position,
but never seek the answers to put our minds at rest,
To keep the past in the past and move to whats best.

You sit here reading this,
And think,
"What a hypocrite!"
"What a beast!"
But I see my flaws,
and I know who I am,
Im working to help myself,
on levels that most don't understand,
Because while most put on masks,
I put on war paint,
and march into battle,
facing the demons of my past,
to look foreward to that brighter future.

And the truth is
I love all these things
because I sit back and realize,
that im not a warrior,
that is battling alone,
that we're all going through the same situations,
Just different scenarios.
that we all have difficulties,
living with ourselves,
The same difficulty facing the monsters in the mirror.

But it's time for us all to face the facts,
To bring out the war paint,
and throw out the masks.
Time to smear it all over,
cover up the flakes and cracks,

It's time to march into battle,
to beat down our demons,
wipe off the shame and sorrows of the past,
walk triumphantly into the sunset,
head held high and soul held higher,
and never look back.
 Apr 2014 Carsyn Smith
Kareena
Drop your preconceptions of me at the door
Now look
Who do you see?
Not the person that was there before
I just always wanted a chance
To prove that I was something different
Than who you thought I was
But I only need to prove it to myself
I see that now

I am me

And you are you

I don't need anyone's acceptance but my own
Because, after all, above anyone else
We need to be able to live with ourselves
This was never started to make anyone believe something about myself that wasn't true. I did it for myself.
1284

Had we our senses
But perhaps ’tis well they’re not at Home
So intimate with Madness
He’s liable with them

Had we the eyes without our Head—
How well that we are Blind—
We could not look upon the Earth—
So utterly unmoved—
 Mar 2014 Carsyn Smith
g
An earthquake for every single
Time you said "I love you,"
And it went unnoticed.

Is it chronophobia,
Or is it the fear that time will
Run out for us both?
The earthquakes will become
Forest fires and
You will forget me.

I am going crazy imagining
The shape of your lips
When you whimper for me to
Stop the pouring rain.

Shaking fists and broken glass;
I wish you'd lower your voice
And lower your walls before
The wind takes us both.


Sit up straighter, don't let them
Know he took your frame and
Smashed it against the wall.
"I'd calm the storm if I could,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Will your ghost be joining us for
Dinner, or have you finally
Collected your bones from what is
Left of the dining room closet?

Let her voice echo through the halls
Of an abandoned house just to
Remind you of the state
She left you in.
 Mar 2014 Carsyn Smith
Kasey
She just can't play with words anymore.
Everything is coated in a dreary layer of tired eyes and nostalgia.
Every word typed for a different person under a different name
For a different rhyme or reason.
There's no more feeling coming from those fingertips that once felt
The skin of someone not there. The sun when it wasn't shining.
The wind when it refused to howl.
There's only reality.
I bite my lips,
to build a fortified dam,
that prevents my true feelings,
from flowing forth,
like a catastrophic flood
and drowning you.

But my cheeks betray me,
and as a forest fire,
a deep blush blazes across my features,
reducing all my defenses,
by allowing you too see,
exactly how you affect me.
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