Like wide sails that cup
The high winds of this marriage,
I'm at love's mercy...

If freedom means
To not need
To ask for permission

Why does it cost
So much
And many a pretty penny

Life like re-enacting
Civil wars and holocausts
Conditioned for submission

The battles with ourselves
Already lost
All ready at a loss

So many without
Such pretty pennies
To show for

Only the cross,
Only the burdens
And the shameful guilt

Unworthy and unfit
Already at a loss
Born to silt and subdegation

I try to avoid confrontation
Nothing said in conversations
When all we do is cuss...

And still we are proud
To have the freedom of speak and say
How the prey will pray

(For you)

These times we consume
In a spherical cage
Of our own doom...

You are...

A song of words

All words as feeling

The music of you...

One masterpiece

Theatre

An ocean sea of symphony

The song of life

As true

As you are to you...

*For thou art poetry.

Kindred, we converse

Over a meal

Your words, warm,

A broth to fill my belly

And the variegated jetsam

Jests

Flotsam of our earthly

Experiences

So many a clumsy lessons

Learned

The times we recollect with laughter

Kindred you give hope

And how my wisdom swells

Not so alone

In the confidence of your smile

While a confidant

With the eloquence of intelligent

Sentiments  

Just right

Not too cold

Your shoulders to lean on,

Not too hot

You're never angry to dismiss

And will understand

As I do now

The danger is

To drown alone

In a life without light

Remiss of truth,

I long eschewed on this ...

But you fill me up, my Pho, my kindred

Spirit

With goodness

A Dearest friend indeed

A pho no less in times of need

Again next lunch date

We'll shoot the breeze.

In the land of the wasteful

The flesh is bound to despairing

Time like a mosquito

Caught in Amber

Unmovingly

All dreams dreamt away

Are as transient as its blood

Orange clarity

In the mind

Of thee, those in the land

Of the wasteful...

Pain is as hollow as

The uncaring

When already the broken heart

Has let go, passed long ago

Since childhood's end

Not having known

To recognize

Or find oneself

In the beauty of a world

We played pretend

In the land of waiting

For our sadnesses to end

Waking up alone

After all

In the land of ungrateful men.

*(The kind have gone extinct)

Evening shimmers wet with Autumn rain
It's sheen reflectors, mirrors, eyes

Of cavorting shadows amongst the fey
Like city tinsil this Samhain night,

Oh how lovely colors celebrate
With ghostly kin & youthful lights...

With cirque painted skins and facade
Of candied ghoulish grins,

How sweet & innocent the haunted highs
Infects each home, "trick'r'treat" of hymns.

Laughter like All's been forgiven,
All seems right, again...

Though hidden faces -  forgotten sins,
Speak sie la vie this holiday,

With carved pumpkins, witches' cry,
Screams are as illusion as the fright,

This Samhain even tide .

It's all babes and monsters ball
This hallowed eve
This Samhain night

Tra la li, tra la lay
Then tomorrow is Hop tu naa...
The days after for all our saints...

Come the winter will be white,
As the ghosts this Samhain night.

His prized possession:
Priceless, precious thing, he hoards
Her divine beauty.

Oh my dearest Life,
Oh soul of mine,

Oh heart!

Imperfect within this mortal coil,
Within our ribs a cage,
Perfectly attuned to love and hate
To sky and soil,
The rage of dying days...

Oh how like the wind that craves
to rush with sighs,
To fly, to wish,
My yearning dreams doth the same
For substances of lips
Made flesh from kiss
As corporeal
Your touch since, missed
Lingers still ...

Oh when I close my eyes
How perfect my ignorant bliss
Oh I pine to fly
Away from the ache of this

My imagination's lovely will
And lovelorn heart,
Fallen apart and untouched still...
Influenced by a fantasy
A childish kind of mind, of flesh,
Eyes blinded by your brevity:

The beauty of Days' caress
Brilliant in its levity
Poetic in its might :
The heart's glowing light!

Oh Beloved!
Oh divine destiny,
Infinite and true
Keep close my soul
To find always you...
Oh ever after
Ignite my starry wish
Beyond this mortal flesh

Oh heart
Oh soul
Oh heaven in my chest!
I love you still
(And always will)

Even unto death...

awake
in unusal hours my midnight wyrm
slithers to squirm
in our restless bed his fiery head
in water
downed dreams,
almost thrashing about
magnificently
blue swordfish from harshest seas
glistening skins,
hooked
on lines and sinking pipes
tremulous thoughts distracted
somewhere

in attics, dim dusty
addicts to something other-worldly than
he / wakes earlier now
to escape prying eyes discovery
preparingly
locks the bathroom door
         the faucet
sounds
         the shower's
hiss  rebounds, and mini black ipod
roars his secrets to classic rock,
guitar riffs to running ****
camouflage

soundtrack
star trek captain's cloaking devices
what i hear he tells me
It's all inside my own guilt,
paranoia,
          dementia from mind projections

he shrills i am imagining :
the tapping of fingernail on syringe plastic...
then why barricade yourself,
all that sounds
in hollow porcelain:
         steam without heat
         sweat without pores
my heart is sore, and is breaking
while you are slamming
without basketball diaries
Testicles even...
To have
the courage of simply waking
if ever
Or never
at all...

*(He locked himself in the
On suite
For at least two
Long hours...
I needed to take a shower.)

HONOR

Keep your word fearless
And build a life strong with Truth
a man lives to prove


CHIVALRY

The selfless kind, road
Warrior of deeper hearts,
Pursues (his) golden worth.

Spray with Hi Def paint.
Bullet holes tagging Main Streets'
Loud walls *remember.

What great enemies have we become now,
Not only to ourselves unkind to home.
Exponential fields, dry deserts to plow.
Polluted seas, skies, to color life chrome.

How far ahead will the future venture
When our third Rock has had enough
Of cataclysmic change, storms of departures,
On the presipice, denying the truth above

Such intelligence and invention cannot find
The answer and the questions of waking life,
Might as well be the thieves in the night
Prophesie our demise : death by blight...

We consume Like a virus that eats away creation
Denying the truth to cure our earthly station,
Let the heavens be as beloved in our reflection's
Where is the love in this race for suffocation...?

Not for no one but all our futures', bright.
When home is hearth and hearth is light ...





Awaken us inside ... Mind and eye and time
*(Oh, day, which I can see... Gaia's beauty / Life.)

Go ride the mountain,
Stand atop its highest tiers.
No words as witness.

In a Kernal of good corn
Inside such seeds: hope
And millions of futures fed

In the kernal of good deeds
Are all harvests fertile fields
Our hands to bounty wed

If only good surpasses ill
Of storms of greed and needy
No blind minds inept
Or powerful lusts
A contagion of men
Disease that eats all life's ken
To a green house death
As blue turns to desert dunes
Dirt and sky of red
All of us purchased, energies consumed
By hot days' heat
Hell's dry solar breath

If only good were keenly seen
And symbiotic sleepers were awake
In every seed a tree, a breath, a shade
A Kernal of peace
If only for goodness sake.

"I cannot wait to see tomorrow, but I will live like I just couldn't wait" --B.Decatoria

Although I feel
As midlife as the crisis of my panic
Living hurriedly

Even so
I think and act like a twenty something
Pining for substance

When I realize now-a-days
This **** reality stinks
This forty second anniversary

A year of so-so
A somewhat some say sore
Wanting something more

Than invisible

Although it's true
There is wisdom with being
A lone leaf on the wind...

My rocket has yet to come
Comely
I try patience
Then think again
Bigger
Dares to dream again
Reminding myself
Believe

Of more
Of you
With me.

*(Can't wait for forty three)

Puff the magic, drags
Of flavorful liquid smoke.
Trendy e-cig pens.

These creases of ours:
Tales of dragons and white ships.
Neatly folded sheets.

Am I oddly misshapen
By the cruelties of life's dross
It's last shavings

Am I the funhouse flavor of the week
The freak the crowd gawk
The audience pay to peek

How could someone as scarred
As myself has always been
Be as beautiful as the words

I bleed poetically

How could someone such as me
Be as legend as mythic
As Shakespearean and as lovely

They will wrench their eyes
At any blossoming or
Palm their ears to keep from witnessing

From nothing else to grieve
Nothing else but my flowered dreams
To be seen from words

Love is light
To darkness is obscene...

If similar are we
Life of true effervescents
Beautifully -- the written spoken soul

Fragrantly
Eternally
From the heart's ocean width
Completes

While an ugly cage is made
World of blind conditioning
Aimlessly

We must search for
Mystically
The beloved
Here Abouts and
There on high

Your children of life
Admonishing
Lovingly
                                  To Thee
Universe and sky

Oh my Love
You are all
                                    poetry...

*(even an ugly tree as me
   Cannot deny the rain when it falls
   And in the same
   Instance
   Quenchingly - I swim in
The drink of great awe

You're Infinite / Love)

Poppers and pour homme

Video head crisp

And clean

Thirty three...

Boy's first whiff and whippets

In balloons

Inhale until it's banana peel

Flaccid...

Laughable word

Whole situation absurd.

...

Now that I'm cut

Body bait

In a glass house

Of men

Stuffed like a clown car

Their fat lip smiles

Artificial

Canine rictus

Taking whiffs for blood

In the humid beach air...

It smells like a boy's

First play date

First of everything

Daddy fox hole slings

Party N Play

With favors and favors old men

But I was thirty three

But I was the bait...

It smells like Dolce

And Gabana

Cabana boys and

Poppers.


*(It smells like lost spirit)

Top of the hours
You toll, minutes reticent,
Seconds most remiss...

Half moon high
In a deep navy sky
The clouds like spider cotton

Blue ivory husks
Umber grey claws / webs
The deepening dusk
In the navy sky

The streets a flood a river of orbs
Armada of effulgence / suns
Headlights
Streaming pass
Crisp neon plaza shores
Cartoon sharp signage
Accessorizing concrete
Floors

The evening is dressed fine eyes smyzing
Shadows floating to be forgotten
While down the road
Neighborhood way
Skitters Liliput creatures
In shells of costumes
As squeals of laughter festoons
Live tintinnabulation

Like rattlers against the dark

As they Scurry cross dim / spatial street
In demand of what is given
From each and every door
Treat and sweets
All their tricks cached in grins
Of teeth.

All Hallows' Eve
Hallowed be the glee
Even tho' beneathe
The web of grey
Life is precious / breathing

Fear forgotten with dismay

We should live in celebration
Childlike everyday

Our wonder
As rattlers against the dark
behind the masks of face
In our eyes there is
The spark
That lights all life

From wastes of
Hollow wind
Chilling cries bleeding
Undead the unseen
From this cirque city

All done up in bright disguise

Happy Halloween
Death as one with life...

Now I can understand why
They self medicate

Now the weight of the world
Fallen on me

The heaviness of mid-life
Not yet having lived one

Here,
Where it is hot all the time

And hurriedly we go
Like on hot coals

Like in a hell made
Of us consuming ourselves
Sin city
Fake
           A life I cannot take...

It smells like rain this morning
8 in the city sins

Like wet grass, greens
Like electric clouds

Muffler exhaust
From the A.M. Commute

On Desert Inn Road
A millipede of Toyota Fords
And Honda Accords

Mojo takes his usual ****
In his usual spot

In the wet grass, green
It smells like rain this morning.

Hula hoops

For Chica with the hips

Make aVid

Make a bed

Loop d'loop

& hooptee's howdy doo!

& also nice to meet you's too

A 100,000 hits on YouTube ...

Watchers

Peeping from a Galaxy S7

Watching you

Drop a deuce at eleven

On a leap year,

Who's got the precise time? (Y2K)


So on & so on

We laugh at ourselves

We shame shame others

Ain't that a shame, my brother?

And shame on you also

All that we do, you do do too

So flush you too!


On the toilet we scroll down

Our tablet phones

Click click "Like" thumbs-up

The summit of your head explodes.

Watching true life

As it goes viral

From up there / From out in space

Eyes big beyond

"It looks a like a ..."

Spiral.

Is Nothing a place ?

The person

No where's to hide

Inside

A Light

Because now nothing is

Impossible,

A Never's Been.

There is no fear

What the nightmares seen

Because Everything is

It just is

A profundity of brighter dreams

Light shines absolutely

Love is more

Some things are better than

Never's Been

Nothing

Before...

There seems to be a many

Poets who poem out about

Cloudy somber days

Down loss of path

Is this The Way?


If all there was were cloudy days

I would question

Else where have there been

Beauty in all things

That sparkle in the eye

A new garden springs

Love supernova

Brilliantly

Enflagrante Lotus blooms

Sunrise

Noon Tea for those who do

No clouds for days, even so

I love to stand the rain...


Awake to stay sane

Every day is you.

And again

Be true.

It's important to be individual
To have clarity
And sure-footed identity

Be you / who you love to be
You the One and Only.

To know without doubt
Lingering in messy things,
Messed around
The experience of Proof
Proven
Chosen
No where else
No one cared
Here just to exist
So resist
Nothing of the kind
careless
Whisperings

Sweet Jesus
Said...

Live as free men / love all and the other
The women sister mothers mine
I am as you are
The offspring
The meaning
Is the purpose of the times
Born to life then must die
But a piece of you lives on
In that baby-child
You can see it in the eyes...

Breaking through
Into flesh
From some other surface
A different sea
Generations now smile at you
Stars in stellar space
We are not separate
You and I

Apartheid did segregate
By old world war rules
Of occupy and *****
Sow them
Who the hell's bad seed?

Do you know you
Who you love to be?
Always not Almost

Cuz see,
You see you can fly, right?
The wide blue sky
Says so
Boy who could
And will...

Who are you again?

I am the wing & the breath
The flock of birds
You hold in your chest
Know love
Is a gift of sky
Together let us fly

Together still all individuals
Each a windswept sigh
Love
My future's memory
Will never go to die, for you are
The apple of my
(Adam)
                                 Eye.

Poetry is
A song of words
A dance of exuberant emotions
A grace
               Full of gracious
(A)         Lover's kiss.

Creation, I'd like
To talk to you as a friend
But all our conversations

Have Become Fear and Death

And you know them two
Won't be a friendly kinda talk
at all...

To mull about

The haunts we are bound

Foggy cemeteries of cubic square feet

The days of purple haze

Of sallow street cars, street lamp, lamp light

Loss of desire

Pop another oxy-hydro-fire

To be able

To muck about

With abandon the abandonments

Numb battlements   / "Hoorah!"

Numb the pain

With derivatives

From ******* plantations

Lingering ghosts on our minds

So many now we prey

But with a side affect of try

Holding in your **** for three plus days

So as not to feel

Not at all

Not even the rage

We keep and hold inside our cages

Proclaiming to hallelujah

Freedom

We fight for the countries

And mystic kingdoms' reign

Because nothing takes away

The pain

Like Hydro Oxy foxy pills

Self medicate down wind of will

If unaffected "consult your physician"

At the edge of the stage making it rain

The business of death

If you still feel -- and war will

Give you bad dreams and migraines

Pop another pill

Jagged not to feel

The muck-about days of

Constipated steel

Numbingly unreal...

This is what it's like : life on the toilet.

Get off the ***

Can't give a ****

Like this bowel movement

My heart has called it quits

To all that unholy *******.

It's a Kuerig

Not a cure all.

Since every workday morning

I have mistaken as weekends

Like those Indian summers

At nine

Over-sleeping-in

My little white pillow cloud

I piggy back rode

Since then mistaken my dreaming

For Heaven (in the Nth

degrees)

Far from myself.

Here now,

MidLife.

Grind...

How dark roasts have that

So similar in aroma

Bitterness

And caustic ash

After

Taste.

Instant is cheap.

Coffee.

Adam4's acquaintances who frequent
Foxholes as salivary soliloquy,
Usually suspected no second helpings

A dim ambience for an active bedroom
On battery powered candles
Concorde lighting
The carpet's edges chewed thin
Receding hairlines
And he uses me as bait..?

Our neglected puppy's teething
Nesting under California
King Mojo's hollowed cushions
Keeps him gnawing these nights
Misters and oil burners

I was mistaken, there are those
That revisit--reacquainted with him,
Must of shared a Starbucks,
As his Sasquatch hands
Rub wet platinum on his old fellow
Bears and their Cubs

Silicon smooth pets, house boys
Fished from the deep web,
Plagiarizing with their eyes the pleasures
Of Eurocreme
Bare back dreams, hours heave
The subtitled felatio scenes

I tell the old man, they only ***
After and mostly when
Most of the guest leave,
There is one hovering quick
To accommodate his
Ginger manly girth

I'll be out in the smoking section
At the side of the house
Through the slider door
From off the kitchen dining area
Where he had once
Replaced the table with billiards
For a Lenny and his troop...

His Samsung vibrates every time
I take a five to breathe
Chain smoke and self defocations grief
He posts another ad.

If only you heard
The vagrant shout
A banchee in my skull
For these off the street urchins
Plugged in to the internet's latest
For a place to squat
For winter will be cold
For them to just
****** off

And here I go again,
Assuming that these were decent folk
Come for the holidays
Between taint and pocket rocket
Wallets drain
When one lets the desperate
Indigents
Free range...
"What's there for dinner?"  

**** chicken heads again?
*Same ole same old dope...

To be without you

Means nothing to want

Attention.

Seems I'm jaded...

My eyes are Abyssinian

Searching for red laser

Point

On the walls,

On pedestrian faces,

And none will ever

Ever do.

But to be without you

Means I am

Nothing.   Wanting  

Attention

Nothing     Wanting

You.

Are you in them rivers

In these herds?

These lakes of

                     Lips

Kissing the silence of melancholy?

Means nothing

To want

Your poetry

Feeling much much more

Than

Pedestrian.

Inferno

Noon o'clock in Sin

City heatwave,

Sirens glaringly shrill

from a distance

our world

Like some distant memory

sounds of no one panics

Emergencies as common vitamins

like local topical

Anesthesia...

We've become

Familiar, indifferent,

to the hum

Drums, cymbals clash crescendoes

Shatters

Just background noise

As siren songs

Beckons

The shrill of metropolis

Sin City noons

The ambulance carries

Life / away

The distances between us

Is the numb we feel

Angrily congealed.

Anesthesia.

                       Locale : no where's.

A no one in a sea

of fine faces

As human as mine

Kind

Yet many yet recognize

Beauty of all one

Shine

an ocean of individual and lonely

Life

Eyes so so wide

Noon day Suns' / Alive

and Golden
           (Art)    Thine!



(flesh Begotten from
   Light)

There is no Hell but the one we create,
and should intelligent beings be made
to contradict itself and become less than ape?

What gardens there be, of all that is discovered
not created by evil or a hand that plows a lover
to the ground, with an alien heart that plunders

and with all thoughts so weak to give in
masticate an opposite of love called Sin,
that we should forget what life has been

what All is seen and some mistakes have made
the blind cannot and will never wake
to know what a breath so small has shaped

this is life, not yours or mind to ****,
but be witness and appreciate --what evil could never
nor hate should endeavor to replicate

the garden you plant will not flourish without light
in a hell (there's no Hell) nor without the rainy heights
you do not need to acknowledge  the Might

but inhale a breath and open your eyes, mind
the heartless beast are about in the wild
if so inclined go sleep with them a while...

(I doubt you'll ever praise evil again,
but then again, stupid are born everyday)
*Smile, have a good day... Namaste

Now bold to keep hold
of child idle wishes,

when in all a boy's life
the bliss is true in kisses.

Verbose promises mostly misses.

What is corporeal is made real
in beloved eyes' appeal

yet just one is giving deepnesses,
heaven half realized in their weaknesses.

A sunken heart congeals.

Framed in little honest pictorial pieces.

Poetry IS - Love,
made malleable through the eyes
that behold beauty.
It's Life, and the Love of Life, malleable.
Poetry is to be Touched,
to be moved by
and with love...



09132016

The bowl of a glass ashtray
on the night-stand
is brimming with cigarette
butts and burnt tobacco.

This is what wasted
time looks like.

Grey songs
of a caged bird:
*ashes and cigarette butts

A hard shell to crack,
the mind is a cuckoo's nest,
if and then you break.

Her rouge a deep dark
pharmaceutical Red to
kiss your pain away.

Heavy makes you small,
such weight within will implode.
Let go what you did...

When I came down

with the "shakes"

colder than the flu,

I called out your name

But in the dark

down the hallway

you walk fast passed

my open door

with not a care at all...

I hear outside

your Navigator speeds away

you've gone off

to infect the night

cold blooded

as I shiver myself

to exhausted sleep...

In the sickness

there are no dreams.


He left me alone to die
*(State Farm will later tell me why)

Like the tree grown from
Earth below to breadths above,
Be with in, with out...

Thine eyes were first, earth angel mine
To arrest the breath from within my lungs
Lovely and deep blue pools, I drown in kind
But naught a drop from heaven flung

Afterwards in reprieve to calm my wits
That your flawless face should dawn
And as tho' a corpse that escaped its crypt
Your beauty dearest, resurrects dead songs

Where in my bones had lingered none.
Oh how I should sing of heavens proved
Having myself been saved yet undone
For thou art gravity of the stars and moon...

My savior, delicate and fine, divinely saves
Since my life has been touch by your grace today.

MY HERO

Deep down
Down the steps
Step into the underground club
Club of jazz greats
Great Gatsby happens nightly
Nightly partake in raucous debauchery
Debaucheries of heathen heat
Heat exuding from the beat
Beat of drum and bass of hearts
Hearts of lovers in the dark
Dark corners hidden
Hidden from all eyes
Eyes who spy their kiss
Kiss of true love's wish
Wish made on fallen stars
Stars that bedazzle and awe
Awe and wonder romancing the night
Night that finds two in love
Love in / is / a speakeasy
Speak easy with love....

*(Deep down
  Where great Gatsby happens)

Love is a speakeasy
The secret joint where we get on

Where from under crawl spaces
And in between walls of bricks

None could ever ever tell us no
Here We let loose - Mr. Slick

Hey Cool Daddy, and Big Mama "Oh's!"
Drinking, music, drunk off jazz and soul

Love is a speakeasy
Not everyone knows,
              but everyone should...

Go and let go.

O-Oh, mahal
Hinde wala
Hinde hangan
O-Oh Puso
Walang  hangan*


Translation :

Yes, love
No more
No end
Yes, heart
        Forever.

I'll begin with one
Question, gazing up this night,
For more than distant
Cold in the silences of stars,
"Are you devoid with being?"

Spectrums to sound waves.
One infinite pulsing heart.
Synth to love you so...