drunk in front of Jesus again
I'm paying for my sins
a million copycat saviors
blowing in the wind

last supper saw me drinking
i guess it's kinda funny
jesus is hanging
keeping me company

someone's pouring drinks
but not mine
and this one's on the house
but not tonight

Jesus hangs alone in frame
singing to me softly
drunk in front of Jesus
more of all the same

can't tell what I've done
not this time or last
I'm gonna sleep on the couch
and stop trying to reconnect with my friends

the afternoon is quiet
doesn't help being sober
I'll play some drums
and check the classifieds

shy away from the microphone
what's the point anymore
fill my home with noise
broken bottle nonsense

time to sell the time machines
collected ones and zeros
get back to the basics
and stop trying to reconnect with my friends

lost in thought
you know
half empty
half full

sleeping on the bartop
same old
half open
half closed

bottom of the bottle
no more
half warm
half cold

caught in conversation
old news
half information
half from the *****

half too much
half not enough
half on the clean
half on the drugs

half in the clear
half for the rush
half on the green
half in the rough

Man she dropped in out of nowhere
But i could hear the return of that awful 4 runner
Really makes you wonder If anyone's got an iota of control
While we're living in this unorganized world

While I'm trying to get back into Russian authors
She's got me listening to the *** pistols
It really isn't fair
All i wanted was a clean apartment
Lucky me now I've got paint on the carpet
She doesn't even care

Im past the idea of this making sense
It's not what i wanted if its staying in place
I keep coming back with with a different reaction
i can't help myself being captive again

This is a split up disease, halfway war and peace
I got reasons for taking my time
And unlimited supply waiting in line
She says Its not what it seems
I try and stay sharp while i sleep
Im gonna try and stay sharp while i sleep

i was so lost
i couldn't see you in the blur
even when i heard you
it was just spit in the sea

now it hangs over my head
are you hanging onto me
when you're running around
I'll be listening

there's so much i need to avoid
and without a direction
it makes sense drinking
whiskey in the morning

i wanted to be a cowboy
they keep things moving
look at the stars sometimes
on the trail in the morning

but I'm a child of pollution
and i can't stay gone too long
I'm drawn to the dark
and pain and soot and art

conflict in my insides
needs projection sometimes
barfights, loud noises
and ****** darkness

The world has really gotten to me
And the pit in my stomach
doesnt fill up so well anymore
I've grown bitter
and mean
I'm bored with myself
And overwhelmed by love

oh i love the dude that talks too much
i really wanna keep it up
I'm drinking till i break a glass
I'm sweeping in the dark
the days are getting funny
it's hard to look at sam
it's hard to tell the truth sometimes
i hide under the covers
the waking mind is not enough
my sister writes her dreams
i can barely see the edge
my scaffolding put to the test
my appetite and sleep compete
I'm just like all the rest

you can always see the line waver
as the fan turns in the summertime
in the place among the garbage
where I'm looking for the flowers

because I'm so directed
i search against the screen
face forward all the time
and ever so ill at ease

restless lover close to me
always in my mind lately
burning tragedy in the spring rain
where i was wasted on reality

vacancy lives here
and trains don't drive anymore
I'm deaf to my own potential
and apparently never going anywhere

laid to rest in the passenger seat
like i didn't exist
i might've seen a curling of the lip
but that doesn't mean anything

out of sight out of mind
with the bending of the wrist
now you know where i am
but that doesn't mean anything

there's a strength in your eyes
with your hair down nice
and it looks like you want me
but that doesn't mean anything

dreams, conspiracies
philosophy, fantasy
none of them
mean anything

my mind is trying to **** me
playing tricks on my psyche
won't let me be happy
thinks everyone is out to get me

it doesn't exist in reality

walking circles inside my skull
breaking down my every move
unhappy when it doesn't know
getting bored of all the same stuff

my mind is trying to hurt me
it happens almost daily
starting with my waking
and working towards an ending

there's trouble at home
and i stray further away
i steady myself
and i begin to feel
distance
as i push further away
and this summer heat
i neednt say
compress my guts
and the renewal of my lease
in the back of my mind
like tires melting in the trunk
waiting to take me away
and i let the hours burn
slowly
and i begin to feel
again

the words came to me in the funeral suit
in the backyard watching over the grass
lightly swaying in the sun, eyebrows forward, thinking
the product of countless hours when it finally spills to the forefront
conceived as i speak, and so simple: i get it