At 15 we were women
And at 12 we were sexualized, scrutinized , afraid , wary , shameful .

Plain Sight is the best place to hide something,
What do you stand for?

We are made from the creative ****** force,
So don’t tell me that I must be dressed up like a pig after slaughter to experience
Sexuality….
I’m made from an ******.
I’m an ******’s repercussions…
And I won’t be told any different
No matter how “scary” you make *** sound
I’m pure ENERGY WALKING.
I’m a cosmic bliss wave flowing….
What do you stand for?
At 15 we were women , but we didn’t know what it was to respect our wombs for the stargates they are.
At 12 we were sexualized , scrutinized , afraid , wary , shameful of the natural blooming of this  cosmic force, sneaking looks at naked ladies on the internet
but we didn’t know how to respect that shaking energy that called out
so we hid it  , underneath our pillows.
Plain sight is the best place to hide something , and right there on the cover of The Sun or Daily Star is the most powerful force for change on this planet.
A woman…
And her ****** power –
If a woman can create a child from her own energy systems in 9 months
Then what do you think that power could do to a project or idea
Over .. say 5 years…?
What you stand for is where you invest your attention.
But for now we march on –
Because there are forces mightier than any human being
And they move despite all our frantic pride and jealousy ,
hatred and pain
they move in our heartbeats and in that solar flare , or the pulsar star on the other side of the universe
they move in the spaces dark energy
they move
crescendos rising
majestic beyond any king or queen
holy like you’ve never been privy to
the forces that move in the wild flowers breath
power the changes on our planet .

Balance is coming
Will you be in balance?

Limp, lifeless and longingly dry.
Like the packet of crumpets I lost to mould last week
The rot finds it place under my tongue.
I toy with ideas that maybe anger
Is the reason waves erode sandbanks
And the turbulent wind is why walls like us crumble...

T   U   R   B   U   L   A   N   C   E

The ambiguity of what happens now rings loud and clear
As another fear added to a never ending list.
Professionals would have a field day and a whole new genre within me.
But that's conformity.

The cavern with which my mind resides is dark
Chaotic and violent to say the least.
Self preservation is a fantasised option only present in the books
Surfing the stale wind inside my mind.

If you wanted normality it's taken you two years to undiscover it.

I'll beg each and every second for you to never leave the park bench
That sits across from me staring at everything behind.
I'd give all my soul, dreams and whatever hopes I think I have
To know that you're going to stay in my mind with me forever.

I'd give my heart just to know that you'll stay mine forever.

The wind caressed me
As though it were a fervent lover

I turned, elated
Thinking you had returned

Only to find
That you still loved her.

I had never thought about little things until now, until I had become displaced and detached. Little things like the scratch of grass against bare feet and the little crunch noise that undoubtedly breaks the blades of grass... But natures green carpet always bounces back immediately. Perhaps the noise of tree branches, being tangled, tortured and embraced by strong southerly winds in the middle of a steaming hot summer, should have held more importance to me back home. The art of appreciation and great-fullness  is so easily lost amongst the concepts of time, greed and the incomprehensible human need to succeed.

Waking up this morning felt like i’d already done so much wrong , the taunting voice i haven’t heard for a while was back with jibes of ” not good enough”.Still, the day moved by and the sun blazed most of the time away.  So we spend a few hours napping and wake up thinking it’s the morning again. Soon after a movie lunch i’m anxious , heightened to a level where i scroll and scroll through social media screens until i pull myself away and meditate. This time i am aware . I sit facing the west , asking for release , feeling and not running . Acknowledging and sending love with conscious intent of “let go” to the moments, “let go” the people whom those moments are attached to. I feel it out , like being birthed. Like being birthed there is painful slowness where the depth and intricacy of the moment are safeguarded by sturdy patience , slow my soul to a standstill …. Of breath and closed eyes - frankincense smoke and angel guide so close to my ear breaths whisper fallacies away and when all is still , there - then , the tears and drooling mouth where i don’t care for the vampire stealing some poor soul elsewhere nor the motion of the sun’s axis. Breathing , stretching , balance. A timeless viewpoint arriving back in the frame.  When all is ready the tree calls out for a conversation . The bed is filled with a love , whom i eye with new lenses each day , checking to see if i am seeing an image i desire or the majestic view of a wild solitary flame in the middle suburb. But , there he is. Even clearer than before. Take one hole at a time he told me once about a golfer. Take each 24 hours at a time. I become honorary American. I eat 2 smores and 3 deer grace us with their ethereal presence as the luminescent flare of final sunshine dip dives to dusk’s quintessential hue of deep ocean blue. Grandma has a hungry monster inside her as i eat the watermelon grown with pesticides in a house full of things. Tarot cards are up to 35. It’s easier to wake up here early , it’s like the day slides like melted butter off pancakes.

We pray to each other - the movement of all  , inside us is
honored , respected , cherished

we touch each others hearts and then we growl and move a hand to the neck and the other pulling gently on hair ,
expanding into a paradox's conclusion.

Living here , can't help but move*
sailing each course with the gifts of divine love anchoring
mixtures of light and dark.
                   focus
                                    Living here , can't help but move
         away from the moments of unrest , sculpting each moment of this day into beauty with my hands, thoughts and kisses.

Living here , can't help but move
Swirl like laughter round the tea cup of herbs
move into the space where it's a heartbeat
dust off the dust.
                                       Living here , can't help but move
It's a dawn that breaks ,  swallowed up by the mid day sun , here on this planet , it's like the sky is chewing very slowly
open , close.

Loving here means i do the same too.
open , close.
open , close.

It ignites my soul to know there is so much to feel and so much time to do it, all of eternity sits on my lap and asks me for no more than my attention.