Now never stays still long enough
For me to ever get it
I'm this weird thing that experiences
This made up way
To interpret the world,
If that is something.
I'm certain I'm real,
I'm something
Right?

I love his lyrics
I love his music
I love his charisma
Or whatever that
******* is
That makes me love

Plotting against self destruction

If you didn't notice
What did it matter at all?

Self pity
Cancer
Blame
Love
Stupididity
Fated by the random swirl

Another attempt at alchemy
Abra opinion Alacka fact
Imposing my desire on the probability stream
"I promise I'll always come back"

More dilligiance was due
But into the swirl they flew

I had to say I felt somehow
So I decided to feel
Better.
And so it was
Until my mouth was bored
And it shook up
All the letters.

Here's to the smiles that I didn't place in duty,
The ones whose corners didn't need to be hiked up.
The ones that weren't made up to be seen,
But made themselves from feelings inside.
Insecure eyes didn't ask for them,
To ensure approval.

I'm grateful for each of these smiles that flew out because I was pleased.
My soul was pleased,
My meat was pleased,
My funnybone was tickled,
Or some way my brain enjoyed his situation.

A corny rhyme
A ***** mime
Mother cleaning up my slime

Wake up, yesterday was disappointing
Didn't get **** done
Now gotta jam hard and get lucky
Or it'll all fall apart
Falling
Fell
Just get ****** so you don't mind ******* it all up
****
What am I doing again?

Dorothy went home without the scarecrow
And
I think I miss my medication most of all.
Eating radiated rats and roaches is kinda harsh
But
Raw-******* reality, chemically
Frightens me.
My mind lacks essential ingredients
To make sense of this madness

Suicidal in slow-motion
Anxiously dreading death
Alternating between
Hating every thing
And
Clinging to each breath

The vampire takes blank selfies in the mirror
Attempting to be seen
In their frame of reference

What night of self hate
And proclamations
Is complete without
A big unplanned midnight haircut?

A guy:

mind on his money
voice and style like honey
mirrors wherever he goes

A guy in an alternate universe:

concerned with primal fears
precision eyes and ears
Unaware of his boogery nose

...zzżžź
Ringggg ernt ernt ernt
Yawn
Hmmmmmm
( is it still real that those guys who get everything wrong have nukes? )
"Oh ****."

At the juncture of <total surrender> & <trying to do it perfectly>

Try to catch my reflection
In the explosion of broken glass
Approaching my eyes

Having
Preferences
Is Silly

One of the luckiest things
To realize it's a nice dream
Yet stay asleep and keep in

Mind dedicated to
Mortality management.
Yes I am going to die
Accept it
Wrestle with it
Fight it
Deny it
Come up with a "purpose"
For the whole thing.
But it is going to happen.

Different than a comfort enthusiast
This drive
Being my main motivator,
I have discerned its agenda
Like a sudent or a detective
Over time as its preferences
Emanate from me

Here he comes
Red the ***.
Don't expect nothin
Leave him to the sun.

Folks try to fix him
And feel proud of their concern.
But how could they improve or stop him?
From rambling in his turn.

Red the ***,
Ugly Son
In LOVE with it all
But it must be unsung.

Don't build him up
Or he'll get re-undone

No shell
Dark eye bags

I want to yell
About LOVE
And preach
That working hard
For something besides justice
Makes you a *******

But I know
I must get over it
And back
To my doom preparations

Silliness is my chosen mode for doom
Seriousness leads back to
The desire
To yell and preach
And the thought
I should fix things
But who's ever done that?

So boing boing
Zoom zoom
Nani nani twirl
Let me and my desires
Dissolve into the swirl

If one did wrong then wrong is wrong
Wrong is wrong is wrong
But if rather one didn't do  
Another's thought right then alright
It's alright it's their right

What a crock is "always"
Always is always pushing something
And always full of ****
Like dreams
Selling that feeling
You always have this dream

To the extent my claim claims always,
It's at least as false

Always suspect the claims
Of those who claim always
Like this guy, me
Why give such a **** about always

She mostly didn't mean
For that to happen

Life was pregnant with possibilities
So I paid for half the abortion

Hello!
I'm pretty sure 3 dimensional space is an illusion that helps my thinker tell my meat how to interact.
I'm pretty sure the phenomenon I call time is something other than what I comprehend, but it's something.
Hello everything!
I'm enjoying rotating around in existence with you!!!
Whatever the point is, "Hello!!!".

"I" "love" "everything"

To keep at it like it's worth it
Like effort pays off
That this being is competant and worthwhile
Getting out of bed will be better
Than not.
It keeps sending broadcasts
Rationalizing
Justifying
Me
So I guess that's
Nice.

Thanks, ego.

(I also have a whole team in here working against the guy so this "believe in yourself" stuff doesn't get out of hand)

My species is obsessed with time.
I'm resistant to all their inventions and obsessions
On principal
But
If it weren't for time,
Nothing would happen.

If it weren't for the fact I do everything wrong
I'd forget who I am all the way

Real love
And the required
Blood essence sacrificed
To keep it live
And the horrible things learned
Of self and others

Not exactly agoraphobia
Just a very strong preference

Clarity seen from chaos
Just something good but not sure why
Everything moves too fast to keep it straight
But something called,
"Making sense" almost makes.
Sense?

That guy was always in a rush to let his guard down
"Pleased to meet you. Here's the soft part of my throat."
It was some kind of defense or offense
Same close or at a distance
If that didn't work
He was losing anyway

Some wise dude: "Usually the best thing to find is something other than the thing you're looking for."

Reasonable guy: "Seriously? What am I supposed to do? Look for a thing I'm not looking for?."

The Wise:
"Just go ahead and look for something. You'll find something else and THAT will be good."

Temporary
Objects
In the field

Something is feeding
On the unwinding of stuff
In the field

Entropy
Yum

I look at her
And see how disgusting
Whatever she sees
Is

Vegetables and minerals
Will lose all form and kind
A few minutes after the sun
Changes its mind

Right NOW
Right ******* NOW
NOW

She's a spin magnet aligning
Everything in tune with her.
Force flows in the charged proportions
Curved by her common denominator.

Submission to the universe

The matches didn't match
They were too slow to catch

Damp and windy
It's so 33
Like it just fine
As it's not up to me

They force-feed me REO Speedwagon because my kids said I love Pink Floyd
And say I'm disgusting when I beat it
I'm trying to learn from the future
But I guess I'm doomed to repeat it

Particle boy
From the primordial stew
Swirl detecting
The inflated quantum jitter
With you