brooke: Poems

Oct 2013 · 963

overflow.

brooke Oct 2013

overflow.

i am trying
too hard to
be too much

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 1.7k

Sneeze.

brooke Oct 2013

Sneeze.

i've dedicated a
hundred poems
because you left
a sort of permanence
on my skin, have you
written about me since
since
since

(c) Brooke Otto

we all wonder if they did.

Oct 2013 · 635

Scenario 100.

brooke Oct 2013

Scenario 100.

I'm afraid I will
never do anything
quite as grand as
all the things
I imagine
you are
doing.

(c) Brooke Otto

For those of us that think too much.

Oct 2013 · 555

Vicitimizing Myself.

brooke Oct 2013

Vicitimizing Myself.

they have picked
at me with chop
sticks and I have
rolled my neck
towards their
teeth but no
more no
more
i am
not
the

prey.

(c) Brooke Otto

Building respect for myself.

Oct 2013 · 758

I cannot love my body.

brooke Oct 2013

I cannot love my body.

is my body a
god-given right
is my spirit more
beautiful? I would
rather be seen for
my contents than
my container.

(c) Brooke Otto

programmed.

Oct 2013 · 563

Currents.

brooke Oct 2013

Currents.

i want you to
take photos of
of me as i shift
unexpectedly
i want to know
what I look like
when I see you.

(c) Brooke Otto

this deserves back-story. No one has ever bothered to take pictures of me while I was unaware and this makes me sad.

Oct 2013 · 551

[But you love him still?]

brooke Oct 2013

[But you love him still?]

joe always
asked why
I didn't just
decide to be
with you and
the answer was
always the same
always something
he couldn't grasp

it's not as easy as you think.
but he always
said

[ ]

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 731

Sitting At the Rim.

brooke Oct 2013

Sitting At the Rim.

i would rather be
conscious through
all the pain than
drown myself
in menial
activities

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 471

Pets.

brooke Oct 2013

Pets.

we had childhood
names for each other
before we fell in love,
I called you Delilah but
I can never remember
what you called
me.

(c) Brooke Otto

more chunked memories.

Oct 2013 · 507

Glimmer.

brooke Oct 2013

Glimmer.

His smile
reached
through
my hair

(c) Brooke Otto

September 29th.

Oct 2013 · 620

Fall Short.

brooke Oct 2013

Fall Short.

i'm trying
so hard to
be someone

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 625

Things Will Be Okay In The Morning.

brooke Oct 2013

Things Will Be Okay In The Morning.

there are so
many people
whose pillows
see less of them
than strangers, I
would like to tell
you that things
will be okay
in the
morning.

(c) Brooke Otto

for daniel. I hope things are better in the morning.

Oct 2013 · 509

Feats In Inches.

brooke Oct 2013

Feats In Inches.

I have learned
to find my own
love in the things
we used to love
together, I am
cutting the
strings one
by
one

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 574

Endow.

brooke Oct 2013

Endow.

i never thought
that His silence
could be an
answer.

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 912

Wolff.

brooke Oct 2013

Wolff.

at the beginning of
summer before the
sun came out, your
mom made us brownies
in a mug and we sat on
the couch downstairs and
watched Red. I'm not sure
you'll ever know how
comfortable I was
with you and how
with you I was more
of myself than I even
am alone sometimes.

(c) Brooke Otto

I will write about other people now.

Oct 2013 · 533

The difference of time.

brooke Oct 2013

The difference of time.

i have gotten
a lot quieter
since the
end of
july
when we
stopped talking
and i tend to think
more. My taste for
theatrics has slowly
dissipated.

(c) Brooke Otto

it's true that you really only can find yourself by yourself.

Oct 2013 · 683

Smelting.

brooke Oct 2013

Smelting.

knowing myself
is harder than
knowing
anyone
else

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 1.6k

Rude Customers.

brooke Oct 2013

Rude Customers.

when you see in me
the store, outside of
public servitude and
are reminded of my
humanity; my smile,
does it stir you?

(c) Brooke Otto

The person behind the counter is human.

Oct 2013 · 705

Unlike Our Parents.

brooke Oct 2013

Unlike Our Parents.

Our ideals are
so easily scattered
as a voice whispers
see, I told you so
but we should know
that just because
it is so with
another does
not mean it
will be with
us.

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 858

Edit.

brooke Oct 2013

Edit.

we aren't pretty
enough without
filters, we like our
faces better with
faux overtones
people like
us better with
faux overtones
but really we
just want to
be loved
in honest
to god

daylight.

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 1.5k

Guilty by Gucci

brooke Oct 2013

Guilty by Gucci

each perfume
reminds me of
a time passed.
truly, i just want
to live in the present.

(c) Brooke Otto

I'm tired of living in old scents and photographs.

Oct 2013 · 1.8k

Stress.

brooke Oct 2013

Stress.

sometimes i bury my
stress and put on a
clean face, tell people
I'm relatively unfazed
by everything but I
splintered this morning
over eggs and toast

they say He never gives
you more than you can
handle but bits of me are
seeping out the cracks.

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 485

October.

brooke Oct 2013

October.

draw the
mud from
my heart.

(c) Brooke Otto

We survived September, guys.

Oct 2013 · 426

He doesn't know what dangerous is.

brooke Oct 2013

He doesn't know what dangerous is.

one of the first
times we met
you stood on
the edge of
a roof and I
think you
are still

there.

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 938

Lightyears.

brooke Oct 2013

Lightyears.

i could never explain
how speechless I am
beneath the stars, all
pinholes in heaven's
fabric

Oct 2013 · 1.5k

Air.

brooke Oct 2013

Air.

i miss you less and less
and wonder what it is
that i am holding on to

(c) Brooke Otto

Oct 2013 · 785

Breaststroke.

brooke Oct 2013

Breaststroke.

i fondly recall you
as I take steps forward
and sip the new air:
an acquired taste
that I welcome.

(c) Brooke Otto

step by step.

Oct 2013 · 855

Junior Year.

brooke Oct 2013

Junior Year.

that white floral perfume
by michael kors reminds
me of the day we scaled
the abandoned house
down Picnic Point Road
and I took pictures of
Kaitlin framed against
the red flowering currants

We found the beauty in careless
graffiti and marveled at the way
the sun sparkled on the charcoal
shingles. That summer we buried
ourselves in orange honeysuckle
and irrationally proclaimed our
friendship (that never lasted)
but i remember sitting
on the roof with you.

I remember that, amidst
the evergreens.

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 796

We Sometimes Forget the Good Things.

brooke Sep 2013

We Sometimes Forget the Good Things.

i remember;
for so long you
used that photo
i took of you at
the mukilteo beach
climbing the tower
beside the train tracks
we were so long bathed
in a sepia world in a state
ever clouded but i remember
being young with you, I remember
being carefully happy.

(c) Brooke Otto

until later.

Sep 2013 · 1.1k

Abandoned House with Rhododendrons.

brooke Sep 2013

Abandoned House with Rhododendrons.

occasionally I
live in old
photos.

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 603

Unhate.

brooke Sep 2013

Unhate.

there's a candid
shot of you at the
picnic point beach
when i told you to
turn around and you
smiled as you did with
the water framing your
shoulders.

(c) Brooke Otto

i wanted to say more I guess this should do it.

Sep 2013 · 681

Just a Branch.

brooke Sep 2013

Just a Branch.

I feel the need
to surpass you
when I remember
you're in college now
as if I don't have confidence
in my own talents to grow
to grow
grow
grow
blossom

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 678

Without Stitches.

brooke Sep 2013

Without Stitches.

I can feel my
heart heal
slowly
inch
by
inch

(c) Brooke

Sep 2013 · 610

realize your iniquity.

brooke Sep 2013

realize your iniquity.

everybody
inside your
head is real

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 562

That one night.

brooke Sep 2013

That one night.

you were looking for
a song by the Clash,
had this idea in your
head (something about
blue jeans) and you told
me don't worry about it
but I read the lyrics of
every single song by
them to see if I could
find it. As if part of
my self worth were
locating those
very words.

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 807

Phone Highway.

brooke Sep 2013

Phone Highway.

My thumb
is poised above this
send as if it were
some rock on the
side of a cliff and this
happy birthday
were the town

below.

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 1.4k

Petty Petty

brooke Sep 2013

Petty Petty

im not
brave
enough
to delete
the last
text you
sent me

(c) Brooke Otto

i'm not the only one right.

("I just passed a woman wearing your perfume, I can't do this.")

Sep 2013 · 880

Soft-Spoken.

brooke Sep 2013

Soft-Spoken.

do you ever wonder
why people don't smile
at you? people tell me
I'm intimidating but
always take advantage
of my kindness once
they know I'm not
a threat.

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 501

Inflicted.

brooke Sep 2013

Inflicted.

How often do you
fight with yourself?
How often do you
realize you are
fighting with
yourself?

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 1.1k

Twilight Princess.

brooke Sep 2013

Twilight Princess.

The first time we
kissed, I thought
your earlobes were
strange. And I still
remember the way
you tasted. A rich,
new, flavor.

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 449

I did.

brooke Sep 2013

I did.

at the hartford house
you sat on the end of
my bed and kept to
yourself.

When you left I messaged
you to tell you I had wanted
to kiss you and back to back
you said

Are you sure?
*well you should have.

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 641

Kevin Spacey.

brooke Sep 2013

Kevin Spacey.

In may of 2011 after
I started talking to you
again, we watched American
Beauty with Kaitlin at your
house. You were in the
middle
and we encased you
like a trophy, but beneath
that brown throw blanket
you held my hand and
delicately traced the creases
on my palm.

(c) Brooke Otto

Here come all the things I thought I'd forgotten.

Sep 2013 · 362

Green Wall, Purple Wall.

brooke Sep 2013

Green Wall, Purple Wall.

your old habits
die hard within
me.

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 1.1k

Flower Crown.

brooke Sep 2013

Flower Crown.

did i happen
to you?
did you happen
to me?

(c) Brooke Otto

Sep 2013 · 1.1k

Bright Cheeks.

brooke Sep 2013

Bright Cheeks.

once when I was sleeping, I dreamt
that light flew from my cheeks in
golden strips streaming like lily
banners that fell upon the back of
a loved one, towards the ceiling
they shot off elsewhere into the
dark and it warmed the bones
beneath my eyes like a maraschino
blush and it made me feel as if there
was something
more to me
more to me
more to me

(c) Brooke Otto
I wrote this last year.

Sep 2013 · 1.4k

Skinny Minnie.

brooke Sep 2013

Skinny Minnie.

I used to be fat
and sometimes I
still think I am, but
being called skinny
minnie hurts just as
much as fatso.

(c) Brooke Otto

Even compliments are shrikes.

Sep 2013 · 899

fox.

brooke Sep 2013

fox.

does your heart
hurt when you
hear of Colorado?

like mine does about
that tv show and new
mexico

(c) Brooke Otto

Written August 17th.

Sep 2013 · 757

Personal Experience.

brooke Sep 2013

Personal Experience.

we tirelessly scream
I trusted you at blank
faces, promise we can be
bandages but we'll only
ever be temporary antibiotics.
never promise someone you can
save them because you can't, don't
offer your self as a service to the wounded
because you are wounded too.

(c) Brooke Otto

I promise that at some point I will write happier things.

Sep 2013 · 856

[ Brooke, please come out. ]

brooke Sep 2013

[ Brooke, please come out. ]

the last time we
spoke with our
voices, i asked you
why won't you sleep
with me on skype? and
you nervously smiled, played
with something between your
fingers. i asked again, why?
I felt you aimlessly search my
face before you said, I don't
want you to see what I've done
if i accidentally roll over.

I hid beneath the covers and cried.
you said
[ ]

(c) Brooke Otto

more stuff.

Sep 2013 · 498

Invisible Pressure.

brooke Sep 2013

Invisible Pressure.

Do not let the little
bits weigh on you
the intangible things
are the heaviest but
the easiest to diffuse
if you talk to the parts
of you who hold them.

(c)Brooke Otto