When we met I didn't know
You had a dark secret
One that would effect my soul
And break my heart
That would change my life
You showed me things I never dreamed of
I was there when you continued down a dark road
I watched you destroy yourself
I felt my heart break every time you chose it over me
I struggled with wether I should let you go
I needed you And you needed me
But there was something else
You thought you needed more

Cant you see I'm crying can't you see I'm dying
You see the marks and scars don't you know I'm lying

She passed with bright lips
And wet finger nails
Freshly dyed hair
Sad eyes a broken heart
Torn apart
She fell in love
Look at her now

I was young and naive
Innocent if you please
Didn't know what it meant
To much to uncover
Afraid of what we might discover
Loved you like no other
How will I ever recover
You became my obsession

We were two completely different characters
From different story's
We were never meant to meet
But we wrote our ownstory
Now I know to never do that again
You belong in your world and I belong in mine

You were like a disease
You infected my blood
And made me weak
No matter what i try
I couldn't get over you

When will I learn?
I don't need to crash and burn
I don't need your hand under my bra
To feel alive
I don't need your mouth on mine
To breathe
They love what I do not what I am
Its not about you its the fact that I feel broken
Cant you understand
When you say bye I know I'll never see you again
And sometimes there is no bye
So why do I do it
The first one was emotions
I cried for days
No text, No text
I broke, I fell
It wasn't my fault
He fed me a bunch of lies
And of course I believed them
Hell I was innocent
Never touched, never kissed

What if I told you that girl over there.
Yeah the one you just complimented on how skinny she's gotten.
What if I told you that that girl is staving.
Staving in so many ways.
Yes she is hungry. In the literal way and metaphorical way.
She is starving but it goes deeper than that.
She wants to be seen. She wants love. She wants life.
She wants happiness. She wants to be pretty. She wants the things you do.
Hell she doesnt know what it is she wants anymore.
Maybe she is just like you in away.
She cant even pinpoint when she decided this for herself.
Maybe it was the first compliment. The first time a guy looked at her.
The first time someone told her she was pretty.
She wanted to be prettier skinnier better.
She doesnt even realize she is living in hell, or maybe she does and doesnt care.
She wants all these things that much. That she doesnt care.
And you are "feeding" into that with every compliment, every look and every word.
She has made herself weak. Weak in so may ways.
Mentally and physically. Now look again. You see it now. Dont you?
You see the circles the tiredness in her eyes.
Now look again you see the sad the hurt and the pain.
Now look again you see that she is me. Now look again she could easily be you.

I feel us drifting
Drifting further and further apart
The same current that brought us together
Is ripping us apart
I'm going one way
And you're going the other
And there is nothing I can do to stop it
So I just sit there watching
Grieving the loss of you
Because I know its coming
I keep swimming towards you
Never giving up
But in the end I'm only hurting myself more
Because your still drifting

It piles on and on over the years
Until one day it breaks you
And it all falls apart around you
And the aftermath is unbearable
A girl like me isn't something to break
Im easily broken
So take my shattered pieces and spread them around
Im not picking it up anymore
Its broken and falling out
Im just going to sit and watch like the rest

Ill always have what we had in my memories and thats better than not having it at all.

Dark haired girl
White skin that doesn't match
Blue eyes
Surrounded by black
Heart shaped face
Smile so fake
Hides the fact
She wishes to be a memory
She takes her razor and drags it across her skin
To know she is still there
When she's alone in the dark she falls apart
It's became her routine to cry at night
And rip her skin apart
When the red drips from her wrist
And the pain shoots through her
She's alive

I want to be the lyrics to a song
My words flow and relate to peoples thoughts
The lyrics people listen to when they are sad
The lyrics they listen to when they are falling apart
The lyrics that describes their thoughts
I want to be a song for people like me
The sad. The angry. The broken. The confused.
I want to be a song
That makes sense
Right?

Im a quiet person
I might come off rude or unfriendly
But get to know me
And you will see
Im not rude or unfriendly
Im just Brittany

Go find another broken girl
And then break her even more
Leave her in more pieces than before
She will never know what hit her

I want you to listen to me and hear me
I want you to look at me and actually see me

Im not strong enough
It's not gonna be ok
Im broken
Im not saying that one day
I just shattered
I broke piece by piece
I felt every painful piece
Fall to the floor and then shatter
Im not saying that I'm special
Or that my problems are worst than yours
Im just saying I can't take it
You can call me selfish
Tell me I throw fits
I don't care
You don't understand me
And you never will

It hurts it hurts
It hurts to know its over
What we were
What we are
Nothing last forever
I wanted us to last forever
Tug pull tug pull
I can't take it

My puzzle pieces are mix matched
Theres missing pieces and some that doesn't fit
And some that just doesn't make sense
But someone once told me
You are made of many  puzzles
And sometimes the puzzles get mixed up
Theres this part of you
And this story
And sometimes the pieces get scrambled together
And they don't make sense
So you have to put it back together
Fix your puzzles
Fix yourself

The knifes to her wrist
The pills in her hand
The tub is full of water
She is a terrible person
Never should of been born
So she's just righting the mistake
Right?
No wrong done here
Just fixing the problem
Without her you'd all be happy
So don't mourn her
Forget her
Like she was never there
Erase her from your memory
That'd be better right?
So she takes the pills
She drags the knife across her skin
She sinks down into the water
She is gone
No more wrong

I have this same recurring dream
And you are always in it
Mostly its us cuddled together
Legs over legs
Fingers laced together
You holding me
Sometimes Im crying
Sometimes were laughing
But all the time Im happy with you
I talk about my life
My childhood memories
I want you to know every part of me
Sometimes I want to give up
Because loving you this much hurts
But I can't imagine life without you
Because without you
I couldn't imagine
And that's why it hurts so much

When Everything's quiet
My thoughts are the loudest
In this darkness
I ponder my mistakes
I feel like I'm running
From everything that's hiding
Deep inside

You scrambled my pieces up
Until I was so confused I couldn't put them back together
You changed me before I was truly who I was supposed to be
You took years away from me you took who I could of been
You made me something I couldn't understand
You made me a angry kid
You made me a messed up and anxiety filled teenager
You made me a confused adult trying to figure it out
I was a blank canvas
And you painted it
With self hate and panic and anxiety
And I will never know what picture I would of been without your brush strokes

The pain
Still lingers
It bubbles up inside
And out my eyes
Pouring down my cheeks
Aching the empty space in my chest
The left over memories
Overwhelming my mind
And takes my breath

You hide your smile like you hide your secrets

I'm falling apart
Here without you
I don't know what to do
Memories of you flooding my mind
Tears flowing from my eyes
Im falling into a million pieces
I close my eyes and imagine
That my heart isn't breaking
That I didn't lose you
This isn't happening

Like a storm you blew into my life
With a smile so sweet
With loving words I can keep
Like all storms
You led a destructive path
The aftermath
Left cracks in my heart
Nothing but tears falling like rain
Dark cloudy days to come

She fell and she fell hard
With your lips on her lips
Butterflies flood her stomach  
Hands in her hair
Call her baby girl

I'm sorry you fell for such a selfish girl
I wish I knew how to show you that I care
Because I care I do
I think I love you
I wish I weren't so selfish
So I could show it
Because my heart beats for you
I want to be that girl for you the one you need
The one that knows how to show she cares
I wish I could be that girl for you
Because your that guy for me
You give me everything and more
Even when I dont deserve it

The girl that's heart is broken
Isn't the girl she used to be
She's bitter and bruised
Her hearts like a puzzle
And He took half the pieces
She has to live without out them
As she learns how to live without him

Everything's quiet
My thoughts are the loudest
In this meadow of darkness
I ponder my mistakes
I feel like I'm running
From everything that's hiding
Deep inside

Silly girl what are you doing
You're doing it again
Silly girl you're gonna get hurt
Letting someone in
Silly girl put your guard up
Silly girl what were you thinking
Crazy girl slow down
Your so intense girl
Take a breath girl
Put on the brakes
Girl

It's different now
My feeling are still the same
But I don't want to get to invested
You leave every second
And I can't take it
I will always care about you
But that doesn't mean I will always stay
Because one day one day
I'm gonna have enough
And its gonna break my heart
But I can't keep going in circles with my emotions

Im scared to drown
And be left there on the bottom
While you are floating on the surface
Would you jump back in to save me
What if I drown you trying to save myself
And were both left there gasping for air at the bottom
Because you would try to save me
It's who you are
And I would try to survive
That's who I am
And when our lifeless bodies float to the surface
Were still holding hands
Because you never let go and neither did I
It's not fair
We died because one didnt want to get hurt again
And one just wanted what he felt

It's midnight and I'm still up thinking about you
My mind is flooded of memories
Trying to figure out what went wrong
But was it ever right

There's a beginning a middle and a end
You weren't in my beginning
I don't know if you will be in my end
But oh the middle was so sweet
Where my heart bubbled with love
My soul was made new
And there I grew

She's empty,She's broken
She's full of regret
Life is not what she wants
She wants to be fixed
But she is scared she is unfixable

I'm addicted to you
I make myself sick
When your not there
I Wish I had a endless supply of you

You asked me if I thought about you
And I lied and said I hadn't
I wanted to scream
Because all Id done
Was think about you
In my sleep
While I eat
In the shower
On my knees crying
Smoking a cigarette you guessed it thinking about you

Isn't it funny that I got hurt because of the hurt in the past
Isn't it fun you left me because I was scared to get hurt again
That I was trying to protect myself and pushed you away instead
Isn't it funny I broke and you swung the hammer
Isn't it fun That I'm crying because I never wanted to feel the pain of losing you
Its so not ******* funny I lost you because I didn't want to
So not funny
If you cared you'd understand
You would get that I was glued back together many times
And didn't want to hand you the hammer
For I knew if I broken again that there was no more glue

Why do you do it destroy yourself like you do
Your better than you think you are
You had a past but you do have a future
Don't let your past take it away
Mistakes of a teenage boy running into adult hood
Covered by a smoky drunken haze
Drugs fills your head making it foggy
You take hands fulls of pills to push your fate
The rush the burn the way it makes you feel up
I don't understand it

I see my reflection in the mirror
Sad eyes that doesn't look like mine
Tear stained cheeks
Pain seeping through my skin
A fake smile on my face
The girl looking back at me
Isn't who I used to be
You can almost see her heart breaking
If you look closely you can see her soul shaking
You can almost hear her screaming inside

When your heart breaks
It breaks
It's gut wrenching pain
You lose apart of yourself
You will never get back
But in the end
You are who you're meant to be

I wanted you to tell me to stay
I wanted you to fight for me
I wanted you to tell me you loved me
I wanted you to tell me you missed me
I wanted you

I can't promise forever
I am drifting away
Into infinity
My heart is so far away
What we had is lost

I wait and wait
For you to come back
While I'm waiting do you think about me?
Do you miss me
Because when you do this to me
I feel like I'm dying
This is not a game
You break my heart every time
So why do I stay
Why do you leave
And why do you come back
Even more why do I let you
I know the happiness we share doesn't last
As soon as it gets good you leave
And my heart breaks over and over
So why do we do this to each other
Why do you stay and why do I let you
Somethings got to give
We can't keep going like this
So Ive made the decision
Not to let you stay this time
Im sorry baby but I can't do this anymore
My heart breaks and breaks
Now one big break and the tiny breaks are gone

We're wasting time
Holding on to each other
It's time to let go
And for me to heal
And for you to realize you will miss me
It's time for you to be the one crying
For you to feel your heart breaking
For you to feel half the pain I felt

We're wasting time
Holding on to one another
It's time to let go
It's time for me to heal
One day you'll miss me
And I won't be here
It's time you feel your heart break
It's time you shed a tear
So you'll think twice before doing it again