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Sep 2019 · 104
Identity 3
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them hurt
I hurt too

I'd rather be framed
For what I didn't do

Than run and hide
Because that isn't right
I hurt, I die
They hurt, they lie

I'd rather be nothing
Otherwise, I wouldn't be certain that

I'd rather feel pain
Because then I'd be human
Last one (Maybe, for now)
Sep 2019 · 157
Identity 2
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them be brave
Alone in the dark

I'd rather be saved
Than broken apart

I save you
You save me
But you leave
I stay

I'd rather feel
Than be numb

I'd rather be known
Than just loved
Second one.
Or the third one.
I didn't really like the second one.
Sep 2019 · 152
Identity 1
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them be harsh,
as society cannot exist with calm.
They prefer downpours of anger, not peace.

I’d rather be dead,
latching onto whatever piece of humanity
that is left.

That warmth that I once felt,
in the arms of my people, is now gone,
replaced by an icy death,
cold cascading down my back.
Those words, that were once imprisoned, by the angel on their shoulders,
do they leak through like water in a dam?
or is just a flood of things that could no longer be contained.

I’d rather be air and dust, than
lurk in the shadows, a shadow myself.
Watching the world tear at its hinges,
pulling close the curtains of humility,
has darkened the lights of their souls.
I don’t want to remember the world, why let it remember me?

I’d rather love no one and be loved by no one else,
for remembrance seems to cause pain.
I’d rather be forgotten, or better yet, erased.
We had to write poems following the structure of the poem 'Identity' by Julio Noboa Polanco.
I wrote mine and also wrote for three other people.
At least they turned out good.
Sep 2019 · 171
Shooting Star
Ruheen Sep 2019
Different universe
Same galaxy

Different galaxy
Same star

Different star
Same planet

Different planet
Same meteor

Different meteor
But you still wish upon it
Ok..... :)
Sep 2019 · 196
Versus
Ruheen Sep 2019
Ghoulish screams
Ghouls in dreams
Touching words
Touch that hurts
Shredded heart
Shredding part
You break
I break

Red oceans
Death omens
Darkened skies
Dark inside
Sharp blades
Short days
You don't
I don't

Dreaded lies
Dreadful eyes
Haunted smiles
Haunting cries
No place like
No one kind
You die
I might
One versus another.
Sep 2019 · 160
Mortality
Ruheen Sep 2019
A short life, but adventurous, nonetheless.
Die young, in a mysterious way,
When your body is still beautiful.

Your mind is still remembered.
What is that, if not immortality?
Your eyes dead, but your breath still lingering.

Most of us die,
Our existence shoved into a drawer.
As bright as we may have been.

Our fires are put out.
The pages shred.
Our dreams, our spirit, scattered.

Mortality runs in all our veins,
We are all subject to death,
But not all death is permanent.

After all, most of us
Are only mortals,
Simply wishing for immortality.

Something we know we won't have.
"One tends to die young, and then they burn your body - dust to dust, in the literal sense. And then we vanish into the shadows of history, nary a mark on the page of a mundane book to remind the world that once we existed at all."
                                                                      - Clockwork Angel, Will Herondale

"That's immortality, my darlings."  - Pretty Little Liars, Alison Dilaurentis
Sep 2019 · 361
YOU
Ruheen Sep 2019
YOU
Take the Y out of YOU.
And all you're left with is
YOU.

Stop doubting your every step
Can't believe your existence
Talk it down like it's nothing
Won't look back, you'll keep running

Take the Y out of YOU.
And all you're left with is
YOU.
Not talking about the letter here....more like the question.
Aug 2019 · 246
Fire Meets Fate
Ruheen Aug 2019
It burns your bones
Burns your soul

Leaves you cold
But still somehow whole

Lights up your heart
To get rid of the dark

Flames lick your skin
You see the Devil's grin

Turns you inside out
To blacken the outside now

You can see it in your eyes
When the water dries

When your tears start to sting
Know you're tired of crying

It's destiny's date
There is no escape

When fire meets fate.
uhuh. ok then. byee.
Aug 2019 · 195
Hair
Ruheen Aug 2019
Smooth, so you slide down
Until you reach the middle

It's all tangled up
And you're not so little

You brush it away
And don't look back

You slide down further
Until you reach the end

And find that everything's
All knotted up again
I love my hair, but I hate it.
Aug 2019 · 403
Autopsy
Ruheen Aug 2019
You wash out the bodies
Hang up on a line
Pin 'em up so very high
And wait for the blood to dry

Iron them out
Straight as can be
Rough, but smooth
Not a wrinkle, or crease

Grab your knife
And cut it up
See the results
They should be enough

Now, fold them up
And pack away
Lock the doors
To keep 'em safe
I swear I'm crazy. I just compared dead bodies to clothes. *shudder*
Aug 2019 · 210
On My Knees
Ruheen Aug 2019
I'm on my knees
Begging for me
I'm on the edge
I can't see
How far out
I can reach

I'm on my knees
By your feet
Your leg kicks
You're in the deep
It's all you
It wasn't me

I'm on my knees
I shouldn't be
You went too far
Farther than me
Why is stone
As tough as me

I'm on my knees
I can't believe
Blood is my sweat
I'm not me
This isn't real
Because stone doesn't bleed
I should stop saying this, but...uh, I don't know.
Aug 2019 · 155
Stop
Ruheen Aug 2019
I stopped asking a long time ago.
What should I do?
Where do I go?

I stopped playing the game a while ago.
How do you win?
What do you know?

I stopped staring some time ago.
Should I look away?
Or let them know?

I stopped running just days ago.
Do I keep going?
Should I lie low?

I stopped time and time again.
I chose to stop back then.
Now I choose to start again.
Pfft. Whatever.
Aug 2019 · 466
Broken Record
Ruheen Aug 2019
Like a melody
On repeat
I hear everything but you

A broken piece
You never need
Maybe I don't want to

A musical whim
One I can't sing
Tell me it's true

I want to know if you're worth it
Tell that you deserve it
Help me believe you

I really want to.
You know how a broken record repeats everything? In this case, I'm a broken record. I keep repeating my mistakes. Can't seem to get rid of them.
Aug 2019 · 173
Strong Again
Ruheen Aug 2019
You will stand tall
And when you fall
You will fall with grace
Even if you can't stand up again

You will rise up
And when you sink
You will sink with peace
Even if you can't rise up again

You will fight back
And when you lose
You will lose with a smile
Even if you can't fight back again

You will be strong again.
Simple.
Aug 2019 · 402
Crown of Blood
Ruheen Aug 2019
~

Let there be light.
Let there be blood.
No black or white,
Just a heavy thud,

From your crown
Hitting the ground.
Cause you couldn't
Bear the weight of it.

Let there be light.
Let there be blood.
Can I survive?
Or should I run?

From your secret.
I'd never keep it,
Cause I couldn't
Bear the weight of it.

Let there be light.
Red as the dawn.
I will rise,
Thicker than blood.

No black or white.
The crown is gone.
Colours unite,
Gray lives on.

Let there be light
Because there will be blood.


~
I read a book. Red Queen. Interesting.
Why not?
Aug 2019 · 232
Expectations
Ruheen Aug 2019
I can't fake it
Even though they want me to

I can't help but be myself
I can't pretend
That pretending helps

Dress like you're perfect
Ignore if it's hurting
Smile like you understand

Expectations
So many reasons
None that make sense to me

Look the other away
Hope no one notices
Hide the tremble in your hand

Expectations
Still, have to face them
I'm stuck being their trophies

The pain gets too much
The edges get too rough
But you still have to stand

I can't see the light that leads
The end of the tunnel
Is too dark for me

I can't make it
Even though I want to
We all have them. Doesn't mean we should.
Aug 2019 · 392
Chess - The King
Ruheen Aug 2019
A lost king alone in his palace.
A king who made mistakes,
And lives in debt.
He drove them away.
Ruined his home,
Soon to be killed,
Old and frail.
Repays day by day,
By remaining lonely.
It's a small price to pay,
For all he's caused.
The games he's played.
He drove away his Queen, now. Didn't he?
Don't they?
Let her fight for him.
Aug 2019 · 275
Just a Kid
Ruheen Aug 2019
I know I'm growing.
I know I'm evolving.
I'm changing.
And that's not really the problem.
There actually isn't one.
It's just something I don't like.
I'm a kid.
I don't understand the real world.
And all it's problems.
I mean, that's what I'm told.
But what they don't know,
What they can't see,
Is that I do understand.
I'm a kid, but that doesn't mean,
I'm small.
That doesn't mean
I can't see past the dashboard.
I can see the causes, the effects,
I see the people.
But what I don't like,
Is when I feel like they're right.
I don't like it when I feel small.
When I can't see anything.
When I don't understand.
Because I'm just a kid.

I don't know anything.
That's what they say. Sometimes I believe it. I try very hard not to.
I don't have the experience they do. I haven't gone through what they have. But they won't go through what I will. They won't know the world that I do. Because my world is not their world. I'm not them. What they understand, is not what I understand. It never will be.
The world's different, so am I.
Aug 2019 · 403
Panic!
Ruheen Aug 2019
A heavy feeling on my chest,
Almost like the pressure of water.
The pressure of sinking.
Then I'm drowning.
In my anxiety.
I begin breathing rapidly.
Short breaths.
Uneven.
Because I can't take it in.
I can't take in the oxygen.
It feels like it just bounces,
Back up.
I feel something.
Something like fear,
But not really.
It takes a while,
But then it hits.
I'm panicking.
Panic.
That's what I feel.

And it scares the crap out of me.
Ironic. I'm scared of panicking.
I get panic attacks. They aren't so bad, don't leave too much damage, but I was also told to not ignore them.
Aug 2019 · 677
Happy Endings
Ruheen Aug 2019
I don't like happy endings,
Because in real life
Not many people have them.

But I also always want
A happy ending,
Because then I get to live
Someone else's life
And their happy ending.
I get to be happy
Even if only for a while.

I don't like happy endings
As that is all we can think of.
There is more to life than
Just riding off into the sunset.

I like happy endings.
As I am reminded
That there is a world
Of characters who are happy,
Even though we are not.

But I don't like happy endings.
Because they give people hope.
But it can't just be a happy ending.
Something has to come after.

More comes after the 'ending'.
Good, bad and ugly.
And then sometime after that.
Life really does end.

You don't have to like the ending.
You could love it.
You could hate it.
But at least then,
You'd know what it's like.
You would actually get to live it.
Finally remembered what I forgot...
But I don't like the ending.
Aug 2019 · 149
The Trolley Problem
Ruheen Aug 2019
I asked my friend.
"Me or five strangers?"
She would **** me.
My friend asked me.
"Her or five strangers?"
I wouldn't **** her.

I asked her why.
"The greater good."
She asked me why.
I just smiled.
And walked away.

Sad, isn't it?
What would you do?
Aug 2019 · 302
Falling Apart
Ruheen Aug 2019
People fall apart quite a bit.
A few times.
But not as much as me,
Because I fall apart quite a bit, too.
A few times a day.
Wrote this a long time ago. Still doesn't sound quite right.
Aug 2019 · 250
We Cannot Eat Money
Ruheen Aug 2019
We really can't.
I'd imagine that would taste quite horrible.
Like paper.
Which is technically a tree...
Think about it.
When the last tree has been cut down,
The last fish caught,
The last river poisoned,
Only then will we realize
We cannot eat money.

-Cree Indian Proverb
Jul 2019 · 426
I Will Learn
Ruheen Jul 2019
I will learn to let them go.

I will learn to see them leave.

I will learn to not get hurt.

I will learn to build my walls.

I will learn to not trust.

I will learn to hide myself.

I will learn to see the truth.

I will learn.

I have to learn.

It takes time to learn.
I don't know.
Jul 2019 · 169
Roanoke
Ruheen Jul 2019
Run or die.
That's the only way to disappear.
The Lost Colony of Roanoke.
Ever heard of it?
Jul 2019 · 327
Moonlight
Ruheen Jul 2019
The Sun is shining awfully bright tonight.
Things aren't always what they seem.
Jul 2019 · 198
Questions Left Unanswered
Ruheen Jul 2019
Why can't you hear me?
I used to wonder if you could.
Why are we speaking?
I used to wonder if your words were stories.
Why are we climbing?
I used to wonder if the world could fall.
Why did you say we were the story?
I used to wonder who was reading.
Why did you tell me we were dreaming?
I used to wonder if I believed you.

And I do.
So tell me this.
How do I wake up?
If I'm dreaming, wide awake?
Someone, seriously. Give me an answer. To any of these.
Jul 2019 · 215
Rope
Ruheen Jul 2019
Held together
On both ends.
Two different people.
Friends.

One lets go.
One stays.
One is free.
The other betrayed.

One is gone.
So the other goes too.
But soon comes back,
Faced with someone new.

They pull on both ends.
Straighten it out.
Watch as the mess clears.
Wonder what life's about.
I don't know. I guess, people come and then they go. Sometimes they come back, but you go.
Huh.
Jul 2019 · 269
Glasses
Ruheen Jul 2019
Take them off.
They’re blinding you.
They’re hiding reality.
Take them off
And you’ll see
A different world.
One not so happy.
It’s scary,
But it’s real.
And that is better
Than some fantasy.
We don’t need to hide
To be protected.
The world doesn’t need to hide
For our protection.
Because knowing
Is protection enough.
It’s just a different way
Of seeing things.
It’s a change of view.
A change of perspective.
A change.
Sometimes I want glasses like those. Ones that hide everything. Ones that make everything seem okay.
It’s too bad.
Jul 2019 · 226
Villain
Ruheen Jul 2019
Villains aren’t just people.
The mind is a villain all on its own.
...
Jul 2019 · 246
Predictable
Ruheen Jul 2019
I read the first line
And I already knew what the rest of the story would turn out to be.
It’s not just predictable.
It’s all the same.
Jul 2019 · 349
Half a Mask
Ruheen Jul 2019
Split right down the middle
A mask of tears
No longer crys

Split right down the middle
A mask of smiles
No longer laughs

Split right down the middle
A mask of words
No longer speaks

Split right down the middle
A mask of sleep
No longer dreams

Split right down the middle
A mask of hunger
No longer craves

Split right down the middle
A mask of agony
No longer aches

Split right down the middle
A mask of you
No longer you
Figure it out, I can’t.
Jul 2019 · 553
A Mean Girl's Heart
Ruheen Jul 2019
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
But she'll want it back.
Even after everything she's done,
She's still human.
She doesn't want to be cold.
She's just trying to be strong.
So, if there's so much as even a crack,
She'll come.
She's been through too much,
Changed too much,
To give up,
The only thing holding her together.
She did because she needed validation,
From all the wrong people.
Her heart can't break anymore.
So take it,
Take her heart,
But trust me, she'll come to get it back.
I was thinking.
You just have to see the other side.
Jul 2019 · 341
In Bottles
Ruheen Jul 2019
I'll keep the bodies in boxes
I'll keep the emotions in bottles
They're bound to be found,
One day.
Until then I'll hide them.
Keep them safe.
In case if I need them later.
But the bottles will crack.
They'll be found.
They'll be seen.
Loud and clear.
Like, little bursts of explosions,
And no explosion is ever good.
Meh.
Jul 2019 · 199
The Other Side
Ruheen Jul 2019
A rope has two ends, a story has two sides.
But we only see one.
The moon has two sides,
There are two types of right.
And two types of wrong.

But we only see one because it is the only one we can see. The only one we want to see.
Jun 2019 · 248
My Life’s Motto
Ruheen Jun 2019
Compartmentalise until there’s nothing left to compartmentalise.
...
Jun 2019 · 704
Tattoo
Ruheen Jun 2019
Ink is thicker than water
Ink just lasts a little longer

A line in the dark
A line of light

A permanent scar
Not a permanent life

Rite of passage
Or open wounds

Closed doors
To open rooms

A layer below your skin
The needle goes deeper within
.
Jun 2019 · 445
A Lonely Girl's Heart
Ruheen Jun 2019
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
But please give it back.
She needs it.
She needs it to feel.
Without it,
How can she love?
How can she be loved?
It's been so long,
Since she felt something real.
Since she was surrounded by people.
People who cared.
She can't do it alone anymore.
She's waiting for her one day.
So take it.
Take her heart,
But please, I'm begging you to give it back.
Said I would do more of these.
Now it's a very lonely burst of inspiration ;)
Jun 2019 · 455
Beauty
Ruheen Jun 2019
There's beauty in pain
In tears
In scars
In fear

There's beauty in love
In war
In hope
In soul

There's beauty in woes
In sorrow
In smiles
In tomorrow

There's beauty in flaws
In mistakes
In glory
In fakes

There's beauty in Night
In Day
In you
Every single way

There's beauty in everything
Because everything is beautiful.
Sorry for disappearing. Stuff happened. I cried. You know, the usual :)
Jun 2019 · 181
Life - The Movies
Ruheen Jun 2019
Life is like a movie.
You have the opening credits,
Which usually make you smile.
Then comes the characters.
The funny one.
The smart one.
The weird one.
Next comes the story.
Tumbling out with all its problems.
But there comes a time
When you have to pause.
Just to take a break
Because things became too much.
Your problems are overwhelming.
Other people's are too.
And for some reason,
You always seem to care.
You'll have to play again.
But you want a reminder
Of what happened before.
You want a moment to reminisce.
So, you press rewind.
You get lost in the memories,
Sometimes wishing
You could change things.
Erase your mistakes,
Even though you know you can't.
The past is the past.
All you can do is move forward.
You press play
And your life continues.
You don't know what's coming,
And you can't fast forward.
It's live.
You'll just have to wait and see,
As the rest of the story unfurls itself.
Watch the twists and turns,
A few bumps here and there,
And most importantly,
How all the characters overcome
Every single challenge.
But like every movie,
This one called Life,
Comes to an end too.
You've recorded everything.
So you can pause, play, rewind, or forward,
Anytime you want.
But first, you have to watch the end credits.
As the song of their life plays
Softly in the background.
And as they thank everyone for everything.
Soon, the movie will be buried,
Under a pile of dust,
In an old attic somewhere.
Just like their coffin,
Buried six feet underground,
In an old graveyard somewhere.
Their story is over.
The movie has ended.
You cried a little,
Laughed a little.
Maybe you even got angry,
Because it ended too soon.
However,
New movies are made.
New lives begin.
More memories to deal with,
We start all over again.
Fresh tears, laughter and anger.
More pain, problems and characters.
A new story.
Part of the same series, though;
Life - The Movies.
Wow. This is long.
:)
Jun 2019 · 420
A Sad Girl's Heart
Ruheen Jun 2019
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
And you can keep it.
You can stomp on it,
Break it into a million little, tiny pieces.
Do whatever you want.
She doesn't need it anymore.
She prefers to be dead inside.
Prefers to be numb.
Because feeling sad is overwhelming.
It's painful.
It's hard.
It's tiring.
She's tired.
So take it.
Take her heart,
Because it's too exhausting keeping it.
Might make more of these.
A burst of very sad inspiration.
Jun 2019 · 436
Family Blood
Ruheen Jun 2019
Blood may be thicker than water
But family isn't always blood
                                                                                And loyalty runs deeper
                                                              - Deeper than the red in your veins
Well, it's kinda true.
Jun 2019 · 205
Simple Words
Ruheen Jun 2019
Simple words of wisdom
Are usually complex riddles.

Simple words of advice
Are usually no help.

Simple words of a song
Are usually meant for someone.

Simple words of a poet
Usually, mean more than you see.

So simple words,
Are never really very simple.
At least for me, they aren't.
Jun 2019 · 569
Rock Bottom
Ruheen Jun 2019
This ship
I've sailed for years
Watch it crumble

Watch me land on an island
In the distance
Far from home

There's nothing for miles
But shades of blue
Watch me lose myself

Watch me as I fall
In to deep waters
I can't get out of

I can't do it anymore
I can't breathe anymore
Watch me suffocate

Watch me wail
As I choke on
My own tears

Everything blends together
It is all the same
Watch me let go

Watch me as I sink
To the bottom
I've hit rock bottom
Had this idea for a while.
When the weight on your shoulders becomes too much...
You sink.
May 2019 · 249
Cry Me A River
Ruheen May 2019
Cry me a river
I'll cry you a puddle

Give me a laugh
I'll give you a smile

Toast me to wine
I'll toast you to water

Feed me your deep secrets
I'll feed you my simple words

Pick up roses
I'll pick up thorns

So you can cry me a river
But all I can do

Is cry you a glass
Half empty, half full
When someone gives you their everything, but you can't.
But this is also my way of saying that whatever I do, someone will always do it better.
This also means that people are acting so over the top, so overdramatic and so extreme, while  I'm just sitting here, thinking how irrelevant all this is.
May 2019 · 946
Bookworm
Ruheen May 2019
If you see a girl reading,
And she is lost in that world of words,
Do not get up and bother her,
For you are blocking
Her path of escape
Into a world where people are allowed
More than a few moments of happiness.
So let her stay
Away from this world, we call reality,
Because that may be all she has.
Seriously, do not bother me when I am reading, otherwise, I will burn you alive.
Or I'll drain your body of blood and hang it up somewhere for all to see, kind of like a warning.
Or   I'll poison you with laundry detergent and watch as you throw up blood.
Or I'll just repeatedly slash at you with a butcher's knife until your face becomes unrecognizable.
Or.....if you're a guy, I'll just simply kick you where it hurts the most.
AND if you're a girl, I'll just make your life a living hell - rumours, secrets, drama, you know the usual.
:)
How's that? Too much?
May 2019 · 349
Too High To Stop
Ruheen May 2019
Tallest tower
You fall off
Such a barbarous death
Because you didn't jump off
Figure out what the title means.
May 2019 · 166
something to say
Ruheen May 2019
on the tip of your tongue,
you've got something to say,
but then you forget,
and you have nothing to say.
I was going to write something, but now I don't know what it was.
I hate this feeling.
May 2019 · 229
Pressure
Ruheen May 2019
We can measure blood pressure,
But what about mental pressure?
Peer pressure.
The kind of pressure
That leads to us
Believing that we're not good enough.
Pressure and motivation.
Not the same thing.
.
May 2019 · 796
Choices
Ruheen May 2019
Too many
Too little
So much time
Not enough time
There's two
So you have two
There's one
So you have none
                                                            ­                                Overwhelming
                    ­                                                                 ­                              Or
                                                              ­                                                Calm
            ­                                                                 ­                                  Easy
                                                            ­                                                       Or
                                                                ­                                              Hard
              ­                                                                 ­                    Unbearable
                                                      ­                                                             Or
                                                                ­                                     Endurable
                                                       ­                                         Unbelievable
                                                                ­                                                   Or
                                                                ­                                         Possible
                                                        ­                                         Unbreakable
                                                     ­                                                              Or
                                                                ­                                         Delicate
You have to choose
Even if you don't want to choose
Because you have a choice
Even if you don't know you have a choice

                                                                                                     Indecisive
                                                                                                                   Or
                                                                                       Just not right now
                                                                                                  Life is hard.
It really is.
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