a cigarette in it's box
toys stuck in plastic
paint in the can
the girl inside of you
the happy one
we are all
*trapped

talking things out
has seemed to work for me
cause the more I ask
the more I find out
the more answers
I have to my problems
and I have found the root
of my anxiety
and my desire from perfection
but don't be surprised
because
*you are the root to my problems

this cold weather
does nothing but remind me
of little parts of you
and the only warm thing
is the smile I have
when I finally left the cold

teenagers
halfway between being a child
and an adult
too old to play with toys
but too young to have adult conversations
we drink, smoke, sleep around
until someone takes advantage of that
and ruins us forever
but it doesn't matter
because we are teenagers

just a normal Saturday
you walk in but I don't hear
you sneak upstairs
but screaming can't save me

140
you're ugly

137
i like skinny girls

133
your legs are giant

130
your arms jiggle

127
sure you wanna eat that?

123
you've lost so much weight, why??

120
*worthless

four months ago
you convinced me to lie
"I'm going to a friends house"
when really I ended up at yours

no one was home
you took me to your room
you convinced me to get in bed with you
got me naked
"do you want to?"
I don't wanna ruin so many friendships
but we did it anyways
I was so unsure

it was too late to tell you "no"
you were already on top of me
inside me
there was nothing I could do
it seemed like forever
but you were finally done
I laid there motionless

you convinced me we would be together
you lied
you used me
for all your ****** desires
your face haunts me
the memory haunts me late at night
I wish I would have never done it

your face causes great pain
it makes me want to tear myself open
and watch myself bleed out
it wishes I wasn't here
it makes me cry late at night
but no one else knows this
and I wish no one else did