i want to hold you
i want to help mold you
into a beautiful angel
sorry i am for the fact youve been strangled
suffocating in your skin
makes me wallow in my sins.

i love you for eternity
and if you will let me
i will love you double.

i promise youll never see another day of trouble
as long as your with me.

my heart bleeds for the pain youve been feeling
but we could just lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling
and twiddle our toes
to a melody we create
and i promise youll never have to sleep alone again when it gets late.

rope strung around each finger tied to the substances you have faithfully
pledged your existence to
but these knots and strings are pointless
when point b does not reciprocate with point a

you have devoted your emotions to a pseudo relationship
built upon the crumbling granules of sugar and all things sweet
but sweetness only gets you so far
before your teeth begin to rot

i have taken a butter knife to my collar bones
and sliced away at the sick residue left over
from all the attachments
the terms and conditions that i vacuously accepted

or maybe i just don't understand how you could call this happiness
tediously worshipping these obsessions
you're losing your sense of self
touch with reality and what really
is alive

I know it sounds annoying,
and I know I keep droning on,

but I can't stop complaining...
And it's really hard to move along.

Do you know what it's like,
to live everyday...and wish you could be somebody else? Other than yourself?

I sometimes hate who I am.
All I can think about is being her.

I think I ought to be checked,
I seriously have a disorder.

"Stop! I'LL HAVE NO MORE! Stop with the obsessions! I don't wish to do this anymore!"

Do you know what it feels like to compare yourself to others...every second, of everyday?

My existence is based off of insecurites beyond belief
and wanting beyond my reach.

I wish I could stop, but no matter how many times I tell myself to...I can't.

This life of greedy desire has only just begun....

Soft curvy hips
Sweet smiling lips
Eyes so deep
Kisses on the cheek
Warm embraces
Safe places
A strong sound mind
A million words kind
Heaps of laughter
The morning after
A gentle touch
I can't get enough
Curvy and perky
Spontaneous and quarky
Full of fun
Bright as the sun
Laying in bed
My chin on your head

These are the things I love about you.

The shower feels cold,
the bed like concrete,
and my bedsheets have splinters in them.
Why can't I just let go
and stop waking up with tears in my eyes.

pink dressers and
the way your eyes are tinged red after you cry
blue heart shaped boxes
i pictured purple
and saw the night of my first stay
shades of colors
sky yellow
sky orange
i prefer sunrises
i prefer sunrises
i know myself
better than anyone else
you will learn
my appreciation for the earth
you will see my ability
to whisper into petals
catch dragon flies with the stillness of my being
support a caterpillar in his journey for the perfect leaf.
i may be in space
but i can touch you from there
light-years away and i promise the sunshine stroking your face is still very much alive.
i wish to climb rocks and run my
fingertips over lichens
sing to a bird
click my tongue
chipmunks running into the palms of my hands
i am free
in the shifting of the leaves
forest floor and tiny frogs.
star light
comets
i am the universe
and you love me.