Before you became a diabetic,
Before the pain and the anesthetic,
We ate,
We smoked,
We slept past noon,
We played until we were out of tune,
We laughed at the cost,
“Go ahead…bill me,
I guess something has to **** me”,
And now…it is,
Imagine that,
But ****,
I miss being stupid and fat
© B L Costello 2016

Against my nature,
And all of my plans,
I reached for you,
You extended your hand,
“Hold on”,
You said,
“I will always be there”
When I lost my grip,
You pulled my hair,
Ignoring my tears,
I begged you…
”let go”,
You only yanked harder,
Telling me…”no”,
I am tired,
My battles never ends,
Are you my bully,
My lover,
Or friend?
Tell me,
I’ll listen,
We can have a good life
Sometimes,  
Let go!
And just say,
I’m alright
BLC©2022

“Hurry, come in”
he said at the door,
The Jehovah witness never heard that before,
Anxious to carry on “God’s plan”,
He never noticed the blood on his hands,
Not till he notice the drops on the floor,
How this would go,
No one was sure,
“Okay”,
Said his host,
“I don’t believe...that God is here or he loves me”
The witness nodded,
"I understand...May I go and wash my hands”?,
“No, not the bathroom…….”
“The kitchen, please...That room, really embarrasses me”,
The witness said,
"I'm embarrassed too, I don’t know if he loves me or you"!
The host replied “Do You know…..what I've done”
Are you judging me?
Are you having fun?"
“No, I am too selfish”
The witness confessed,
“I don’t really care about your mess,
"I can still hear her cry..."
"I tore her dress..."
"But she had such a pretty mouth,"
"No, you should never judge....
Or let strangers into your house”
©B L Costello 2019

“Hurry, come in”
he said at the door,
The Jehovah witness never heard that before,
Anxious to carry on “God’s plan”,
He never noticed the blood on his hands,
Not till he notice the drops on the floor,
How this would go,
No one was sure,
“Okay”,
Said his host,
“I don’t believe...that God is here...... or he loves me”
The witness nodded,
"I understand...May I go and wash my hands”?,
“No, not the bathroom…….”
“The kitchen, please...That room, really embarrasses me”,
The witness said,
"I'm embarrassed too, I don’t know if he loves me or you"!
The host replied “Do You know…..what I've done”
Are you judging me?
Are you having fun?"
“No, I am too selfish”
The witness confessed,
“I don’t really care about your mess,
"I can still hear her cry..."
"I tore her dress..."
"But she had such a pretty mouth,"
"No, you should never judge....
Or let strangers into your house”
©B L Costello 2019

"Sorry",
What is that for ME?
Your confession or apology?
It’s what YOU are,
Your finally exposed,
Your stated regret,
And what you owe,
thanks
BLCostello©2025

INFJ,
I guess...I'm okay!
It's nobody's fault,
It's how I am made,
1%
Who could have guessed?
I'm not an alien,
I'm no threat,
I'm "just special",
The test was cheap,
To tell me...I'm rare,
Not a creep

BLCostello 2024

Thank you nurse,
But your sympathy stings,
Every time you say…….
“Poor THING”
The tumor is still there,
His future is uncertain,
But behind the curtain……is still a person.
©B L Costello 2016

Anxious again,
My chest feels tight,
Pass that thing and give me light
It’s only better when I inhale,
Taking a drag,
I’m driving the nails,
I know it stinks,
I have bad manners,
But how I love to swing that hammer,
Friends and family have objections,
I have my very own section!
Isolated
Dark predictions,
I rub it out and blame addiction
©B L Costello 2019

The road less traveled is sometimes hard,
My wagon throws gravel,
I read the cards,
This life I choose is wild and free,
It’s better when no one is following me,
The currents do change,
The journey does end,
The road does challenge with dips and bends,
But I am a gypsy,
With fortunes to tell,
I KNOW it’s going to turn out well!
©B L Costello 2016

She fell to the devil,
And he took her heart,
Unfortunate,
That was just the start,
Terminally stricken,
Like a disease,
He stole her soul and sympathy,
Because of him,
She would know hurt,
She would never know her potential worth,
She took his name and gave her life,
He bled her like a sacrifice,
So young,
She was done,
Before her time,
And he was the last thing on her mind
©B L Costello 2016

Is that a woman?
I am really not sure,
I guess, for now, I will call them "her",
Is that a man?
Where do I begin?
I guess I will start calling them "him",
"Them"?
Oh no....that's a new story,
Somewhere we decided two genders were boring,
Sometimes, its confusing,
But, it will change soon,
"Those were the Days", called the tune,
"Girls were girls and men were men",
And everyone...
Sometimes...got called THEM

I wanted to work,
But business was slow,
My boss left six months ago,
So the job I loved and the place just changed,
I pulled up my mask,
Nothing's the same,
I hate interviewing  
They can't see my face,
“10 years...and you just left the place?”,
As if it was all for my enjoyment,
”Over a year, you we're on unemployment?”
I just feel judged,
I'm still not well,
3 months….I still can't smell,
“We'll call you”,
Did he smiled?
He did sound cordial…..
God help me survive the
New Normal

BLCostello©2021

He is never home Christmas Eve,
It’s always been that way,
Childless,
She’s home alone with cookies freshly made,
She’ll wait and watch  the weather,
But usually will nod off,
He’ll wake her with a kiss,
“Merry Christmas, Mrs Claus”
BLCostello©2022

It’s not about you,
It’s not about me
It’s that f** virus covid-19
I don’t want to miss you.
I already do,
But I know I will see you when this is through
“It could peek again”,
Some experts expect,
I already spent that stimulus check,
But a nation divided,
Is sure to fall,
So, stay home and cook dinner,
They closed the mall,
There are so many things we can do without,
And we can save the world right from our couch
B L COSTELLO©2020

There is no "Anthem",
It just got “Darker”,
You were always so much smarter,
That's why I read everything you wrote,
I even bought a “Blue Raincoat”!
So inspired,
I started to write,
So began “My Secrete Life”
Together at last
Our friendship sutured,
“My Antique Song”
I saw the "Future",
Now, 'Everybody Knows",
"Suzanne",
My heart broke when I read “Anne”
But you said…’I AM YOU MAN”
So….”So Long Marianne" !
I hung your photo,
Co-workers teased,
They never read “Light As a Breeze”
"Hallelujah"!
I’ve learned to accept,
No offering is perfect,
Sometimes,
You just can’t take it back,
Love the light,
Forgive the crack
©B L Costello 2019

I am feeling pretty bad,
Stop picking my scabs,
I am starting to fester,
Your making me mad,
What happened there,
Left me here,
You are removed,
I am in tears,
It is better this way,
I think you were wrong,
The scar is still here,
But I am glad you are gone

My poor lost lamb,
Where did you go?
my Angry Young Man,
I did not know,
Words and letters do deceive,
But Sticks and Stones can not hurt me!
Too late, Too soon,
You did not live,
Long enough for me to forgive
I miss you now
Still I Cry,
Someone should have apologized,
Before that Summer Afternoon,
Found too late
You left too soon
(c) B L Costello 2018

Exhausted from breathing,
He's still believing,
He has some place to be,
He just can’t focus,
And never noticed,
The way he used to be,
Sometimes he obsesses
But all too soon forgets
Before he had the oxygen,
He loved his cigarettes,
Smiling he remembers...
His walks to the corner store,
Before he got his scooter,
He does not walk no more,
Time just passed so quickly,
It’s harder to believe,
He should of took up jogging,
He’s only 63

Safe in my car,
I felt no fear,
Until I looked in the rearview mirror,
More frightening now,
No cars in the street,
A shadowy figure was in my back seat,
Strange,
I thought I was alone,
Apparently someone,
Was following home,
Without a response,
I blessed myself saying,
“My God is stronger than anyone else",
Suddenly, I felt no longer alone,
The reflection was gone, and I was at home

A thing of beauty is a joy forever,
That’s what I thought when I got your letter,
Flowered stationary,
Ink dark blue,
How happy I was to hear from you,
Tearing it open as I took it inside,
Such a sweet lover!  
Who could deny?
Writing a letter!
“Just because”,
I really didn’t know what it was,
It just seemed to drown…on and on,
It started cold….
“Dear John”
A weak attempt,
How could it be?
“it’s not you…really,
It’s me!”
Am I supposed to feel better?
I would if I had written that letter,
Maybe I will send one too,
But I have only 2 words for you,
2 words….
Yeah, that’s all,
What the hell…
I think I’ll call!
Why be silent and suffering?
She always said she wanted a ring!
©B L Costello 2017

I did not bring you into the world,
But I was happy that you came,
I took you home one afternoon,
Took pictures…..and gave you a name,
And you where my baby,
Dayenu……that was enough,
And like all things God gives you,
Someday…You must give up,
How blessed I was to have you,
To love and watch to you grow,
I did not bring you into the world,
But, I was there to watch you go.
© B L Costello 2016

Who holds the sun,
makes the rain,
he gives you no possessions
…and you will learn nothing,
it’s a gift….
Not a lesson,
His mercy….
You never notice the change,
Memory lost,
Experienced gained
As I am I
You will be you,
Here at last?
Deja Vue
B L Costello © 2017

Is tomorrow enough?
It has to be,
Today is almost gone you see,
Yet here I linger,
Alone at last,
My memories repeat the past,
The moon does rise,
Still I am inspired,
Embracing my muse,
Thou I am tired,
In the dark
I smoke,
I wait for the day
I will meet tomorrow….
Unafraid
©B L Costello 2016

Is tomorrow enough?
It has to be,
Today is almost gone you see,
Yet here I linger,
Alone at last,
My memories repeat the past,
The moon does rise,
Still I am inspire,
Embracing my muse,
Thou I am tired,
In the dark
I smoke,
I wait for the day
I will meet tomorrow….
Unafraid
©B L Costello 2016

The darkened room
Sterile and clean,
She stood with the Doctor and stared at the screen,
An ugly black spot,
“What is this?”
The Dr. said….”metastasis”,
He offered her chemo,
“It could give you a year…6 months without it…“I am so sorry dear.”
For ten years,
She did what they said,
Now everything’s changed
The tumor spread,
No surgery,
Because of the size,
They said live with it
And she tried……
She learned to live with it,
She did,
Why?
How is she going to learn to die?
©B L Costello 2019

A dark little girl,
Everyday,
She's a creep,
Wednesday is not just the middle of the week,
She's a daughter,
A dancer,
Sometimes,
She's disgusted,
Her smile is secret,
Her shine is rusted,
If she likes you,
You are in luck,
She'll save you from the "Goo Goo Muck",
And if you dislike her....
That's okay!
"Deep down inside she like it that way".
Oh Wednesday,
Who knows what tomorrow may bring,
Perhaps...a black rose,
"Thank you, Thing....

When I was younger I heard it said,
”There is nothing free in life”,
And…..sometimes,
“People lie”,
Because…they’re being “nice”,
This is a double standard,
Somehow I miss the meaning,
We pay for everything?
Nice people are deceiving?
If that’s the way it is,
What message does it send?
Will I always be broke?
Do I have any friends?
It’s just so sad think,
If that the way it is,
We really must do better and think about the kids,
Because life is wonderful,
It doesn’t cost a dime,
To tell someone their loved,
To be thoughtful and kind,
It’s just so important,
To learn in your youth,
Life is beautiful,
And so is the truth
©B L Costello 2016

Welcome to Gotham!
Here is your pass,
“Just a little pin *****”,
Pull up your mask,
The Joker’s still laughing,
“Boys will be girls”
Enjoy your ****,
“It’s a messed up world”
Bat man is out there,
Make no mistake,
You would never notice without the cape,
Yes, the weeds legal,
But it going fast,
“Space cowboy” says hi,
Pull up your mask.
BLC©2022

I want to be funny,
I am not a “*****”,
I am misunderstood
I am sick of it!
It was,
Only a joke!
You don’t think I'm “funny”,
It happens!
Can’t you forgive me honey?
After all, it’s been awhile,
Since I’ve entertained,
Or saw you smile,
Be careful,
Some things…you can’t take back,
How I’d love to hear you laugh
©B L Costello 2019

Someday,
I’ll be you,
Older and gray,
Inevitable,
Still…
I am afraid,
Your wisdom,
Your beauty,
Amazing to me,
Challenged with fragility,
So important,
All that you do,
No one could ever fill your shoes,
Who will listen,
Who 'll want to talk?
When my hands shake,
Or I need help to walk?
Who will be my friend?
After you have left,
What becomes of the childless?
©B L Costello 2019

Don’t ask,
I’ll wear my mask,
I’m already sick,
Will this pass?
More and more we disagree,
under his knee,
Covid-19,
Pandemic,
Social disease,
Virus,
Rascism,
“you’re killing me”
No justice,
No word from DC,
The air is heavy,
And… “I can’t breathe”
©BLCostello 2020

Sometimes,
I can’t see clearly,
Things are not what I think,
I really cannot not help it…..
After all….
I have to blink,
Sometimes,
I’m overwhelmed,
It’s more than I can keep,
You know,
The plumbing's old,
There’s bound to be some leaks
Sometimes,
I’m irritated,
I remember what was said,
Sometimes I just drip,
It makes my eyes red,
I wish it didn’t happen,
I wish you weren’t so mean,
I wish I had a wrench,
Or an antihistamine
© B L Costello 2016

A feeling in my gut,
It drives me nuts,
My every thought of you questions,
“What”?
What
Is that creature?
So physically fit….
Without a thought,
I reached for it,
A foolish girl,
You know it is true,
What
Happened to me when I met you?
What
Did you do?
I stood
You sat,
You……
My gawd,
What was that?
©B L Costello 2017

She stares at the mirror,
Reflecting on her past,
It been a long time,
Through the looking glass,
Remembering the fall,
She knows she did not sink,
She may have landed better if she never took that drink,
It could have turned out different,
Everyone makes mistakes,
She should have had a salad,
Not that piece of cake,
At least she made some friends......and few nasty habits,
She always kept her head,
but she never caught that rabbit
©BLCostello 2022

People of Gotham hold their hearts
The bat signals out,
The sky is dark,
It’s very quiet
There is no escape
In the cave hangs his cape
It does not work for anyone else,
Neither does his utility belt,
There really is nothing left to steal,
No one can drive that bat mobile,
Robin flew,
He was so alone,
The Commissioner disconnected the phone
Cat Woman hissed,
The Penguin cried,
The Joker laughed,
When bat man died
©B L Costello 2017

Oh where have all the flowers gone?
And the hippies who used to sit on our lawns?
Granny glasses with braids in their hair,
They didn't shave or use underwear,
my father told me,  
They were crazy!
But I liked their smoke and colorful babies,  
The crocheted headbands
The tie dyed shirts,
Their naked feet and long patched skirts,
We could use some now,
Will they ever return?
Oh when will we ever learn!
BLCostello©2021

Yeah, I’ll say it,
No, I am not scared,
It’s been here all day
Does anyone care?
Yes! I am sober,
I am not seeing pink,
We try to ignore it,
But frankly....it stinks,
Some ignore it,
Yes, I tried,
But something this big cannot be denied
Its bound to get messy,
Where is the broom,
Who let the elephant into the room?
©B L Costello 2018

Oh little man,
You land where you fall,
You really have no plan at all,
No sense of loss,
No fear of dying,
How brave you are,
So good at lying,
You felt that loss,
Like a severed leg,
You fear the unknown,
And the voice in you head,
And now…you are lame,
You limp,
Sometimes crawl,
You bleed everywhere,
You land where you fall
BLCostello©2025

“**** them with kindness”,
I did understand,
Now, their blood is on my hands,
I do as I am told,
Just like you said……
And now their pillows are colored red,
It’s something I’ve always wanted to do,
I would do anything for you……..
And now it’s over!
Look what we’ve done,
I feel better…
That was fun.
©B L Costello 2017

It’s still there
No change
No effect,
The most optimistic word was…
“Yet”.
Intensely
We listen,
The doctors so smart,
To find hope,
We tear each sentence apart
Clawing through facts,
Sorting out rumors,
God,
I hate that ******* tumor,
It takes all our time,
And we still need more,
There’s none to waste,
He is stage four.
©B L Costello 2016

Which advice would you take,
if you could choose just one?
Would you decide to be careful,
Or to go and love someone?
Would you always remember?
Or would you relax, and forgive?
There is only one choice,
Would you survive or live?
©B L Costello 2019