The ‘Big Swallow’

My friend needs to put an end
To her dreadful thirst
It never gets better
Only gets worse
Some of us are missing
A major
Metaphorical
Mechanism
A floating valve
That rises to the top
And then insists
On a Stop!
Closing  off
Further flow
Down below.

"I know it's back. I can feel it;
The pressure behind the eyes..."*

He's sixty. Missing front teeth
Make his grins cartoonish

And contageous. Some days
Colleague, others

Father.
Now, hammer-steel

Eyes well up. Hands like
Shovels pretend to scratch the

Bridge of his nose.
Devil Cancer. Ugly, old *******.

When he passes on, Valhalla
Awaits.

Don't tell me there's no battle
In this.

When I’ve gone to my reward
And finally my tale is told
Folks will gather and hopefully say
He died of being old.

When under the influence of drink
I might have died of driving my car
Or that time I hit on a local cop
In what I thought was a gay bar.
I could have died taking some drugs
Some stranger gave to me one night
With some of the junk going around then
I would have gone down without a fight.

And when I’ve gone to my reward
And finally my tale is told
Folks will gather and hopefully say
He died of being old.

I tailgated, I walked dark streets late
I had a smart mouth, unwise and loud.
I ignored good advice to my misfortune
Because I was too callow and proud.
I might have bought the whole farm
By sneaking texting while I was driving.
So many times I stacked the deck
Against myself ultimately surviving.

And when I’ve gone to my reward
And finally my tale is told
Folks will gather and hopefully say
He died of being old.

Today a review with the Doctor took place
She looked on unknowingly smiling face
She now needs twenty four hour care
For her to stay at home would not be fair
He suggested I look at some care homes
Soon it will be an empty house, all alone
It’s out of my control and nothing I can do
But remind Mum “I will always love you”
I want her at home, no other place to be
Now all I can do is write my feelings in poetry

22/12/2016 © David Swinden

Like a grain of sand
On a desert plain
Or hand held fan
In a hurricane
Tears go unnoticed
While crying in the rain

I’m still waiting for my Christmas present
The one you promised for so long.
Don’t keep me waiting like a poor peasant.
That would be rude and oh so wrong.
I’ve got my mind decorated for the season.
The mantel hung up with stockings
Please don’t make me wait for any reason.
Holding out on me would be shocking.

Holiday hotline
I’m making the call.
Ready for Christmas
The best time of all.
Holiday hotline
Too excited to dial.
I’ll wait a bit longer
But just for a while.

I don’t really need some kind of wish list.
There only one thing that I want.
You’ve got my heartstrings in your **** fist.
I’m fainting just to watch as you flaunt.
I’d write to Santa if it would do any good
But I am pretty sure he already knows.
Honey please, my heart’s not made of wood,
As you wave what I want near my nose.

Holiday hotline
I’m making the call.
Ready for Christmas
The best time of all.
Holiday hotline
Too excited to dial.
I’ll wait a bit longer
But just for a while.

I’m just like a little kid on Christmas eve.
I pretty sure I couldn’t really sleep.
You’ve got some great tricks up your sleeve.
I bet it wouldn’t help me to count sheep.
I want to start in unwrapping my present
I have little doubt I’ll like what’s inside.
The anticipation has been very pleasant.
Now is the finale to a **** yuletide.

Holiday hotline
I’m making the call.
Ready for Christmas
The best time of all.
Holiday hotline
Too excited to dial.
I’ll wait a bit longer
But just for a while.

on poetry*

A poem is only a mouthful of air
until it is read.
Imagine it. Craft it carefully
from your heart's flesh.
Seal it in a bottle
of clear, pure words.
Set it adrift on
the ocean of time,
life's restless surge,
until a few congruous spirits
pluck it from the sea-wrack
and recognize a message
that illuminates their souls.
Readers find writers;
never the opposite.