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273 · Feb 2023
Journal Entry 6
birdy Feb 2023
A crossroads.

a path encased in forest
green patchwork of branches, keep secret—-
the memories of shoes on the mossy trail

a path paved pretentiously
wood rebelliously pushing back against the green
overthrowing the chaos of jagged weeds
all the same suppressing the beauty of the wild flowers

a cleared path
barren of trouble
barren of life

a secluded path
enveloped in mystery
enveloped in regret

a guaranteed destination

an invitation to...
266 · May 2023
not poetry just words
birdy May 2023
Never felt quite like this,
like i’m just existing
existing sweeps me away like a tide
my mind moves slowly down it like a delicate wooden raft
only to accelerate until it crashes
and I have to reset each time
each time losing a plank
until i’m quite literally on my last straw
well… semi-literally
and it *****
because I don’t even know why
why im putting myself through the journey
259 · Apr 2022
Daybreak
birdy Apr 2022
The sun kisses the grass,
as the water hugs the moon.
259 · Aug 2022
Liberty
birdy Aug 2022
love without laments
land without lord
birdy Feb 2023
definitive death
deafening dark
a break never to be unbroken

now how must i find

the heart of a feeling

the throat of an emotion

the end to a thought

how can i know the last page of a story
when page numbers lose meaning
my poetry frivolous like—
crayon scribbles in a colouring book
birdy Apr 2022
Marred muses mellifluous melodies
make the masses move to the music.
244 · Jan 2022
Apartment
birdy Jan 2022
'It's as high as Jack's beanstalk'
your apple cheeks protrude
your eyes become crescent moons
and you shine a smile
the could make whole galaxies
revolve around you
240 · Oct 2021
Vibrancy
birdy Oct 2021
Vibrancy is a gift
one that can leave you left adrift
such benevolence creates a rift
a mind has made a shift
239 · Aug 2022
Realizing potential
birdy Aug 2022
crack    pop    sizzle
a million nerves go
crack    pop   sizzle
with vibrant rays of potential
to paint an exuberant future
239 · Apr 2022
A Love Letter
birdy Apr 2022
To my love,

You are an idea not a person, but I love you all the same.

Yours truly.
235 · Jan 2022
The air is screaming
235 · Apr 2021
Screaming
birdy Apr 2021
Thin walls,
My concert hall of sorrow.
Drowning in shallow water,
so undeserving yet needy.

Save me.
235 · Jun 2022
the new alone
birdy Jun 2022
i feel most alone in a room full of people
each with a life that i will never touch
each with a story i will never understand
229 · Apr 2022
ephemeral feelings
birdy Apr 2022
that crescendo
and then quickly
die out
227 · Apr 2022
Dead in the Living Room
birdy Apr 2022
Your ashes,
in a box in the living room.
Sudden flashes,
of memories
force me to see your eyelashes
that framed beautiful deep brown.
birdy May 2023
I’m sick of trying to make my thoughts beautiful

I’m too tired to think in verses

Poetry is like a whole other language

Sometimes I feel like I’m pretending to be bilingual

I’m not an artist

Like the rest of you
219 · Jul 2022
Mind Hotel VACANCY
birdy Jul 2022
emotions check in and out
each leaving their mark

rooms left pristine by joy
will be left muddled by anger

But one room has never been stayed in
left untouched, the room for love is abandoned

I encourage passersby to stay
but alas it is left dusty

maybe the decor is too drab
or the building lacks a certain warmth

either way
the mind hotel is left with a permanent vacancy
216 · Apr 2021
Attractive
birdy Apr 2021
A seductive appeal.

Leaving it all behind.

Tempting like a mistress.

Being selfish.
214 · May 2024
“I love you”
birdy May 2024
empty words.
until I found you
to teach me
what it meant
207 · Dec 2021
Rest
birdy Dec 2021
obscured by the leaves
hidden by the shade
lie there, rest.
you've done enough.
206 · Jan 2023
“how are you”
birdy Jan 2023
scarce serendipity

scathing scars

sorrow’s souvenirs

serenity secluded

slipping

away


205 · Aug 2022
black picket fence
birdy Aug 2022
the shadow
of a 'perfect life'
201 · Jan 2022
Love
birdy Jan 2022
Your words take me away
the warm breath of secrets
the scent of trust
you sound like love
199 · Feb 2021
The Green Velvet Chair
birdy Feb 2021
I used to see you,
On the green velvet chair.
You sat beside your ashes,
Legs crossed.

I was scared of you,
No matter how strong my love was,
It was drown out,
By the terror.
I'm sorry
196 · Jan 2023
carpet
birdy Jan 2023
i feel like the carpet
matted
unkept
frankly ugly
191 · May 2021
Necessary Cage
birdy May 2021
A body,
Made to trap my mind.
189 · Jun 2022
Beg - You Killed Her
birdy Jun 2022
Cry out her name
speak to her soul
scream for forgiveness
only the strongest cries
can surpass this barrier
between us and the soil
of the graveyard
185 · May 2024
How it is
birdy May 2024
when the rain cries
no one notices

been bad for so long
sad for so long

no one notices.
174 · Oct 2023
future
birdy Oct 2023
filled with futile passion.

tears meant to be rationed
pooling at my knees,
spilling so fast
its hard to see.

a sea of futile passion,
beautiful but,
worth nothing
when its time to cash-in.
171 · Apr 2022
A Fraction of a Person
birdy Apr 2022
When your other half is gone,
the unwholeness that follows
is worse than death.
168 · Apr 2021
My Breaking Point
birdy Apr 2021
Warm desire.

Just nearly boiled over.
165 · Apr 2022
The Bad Man
birdy Apr 2022
The bad man came at night,
his figure drawn out,
looming over.
He eclipsed the moon,
pushing onto you a scratchy shadow,
the darkness put its hands over your body.
You cry out to someone, but the darkness has its hand over your mouth.
And as the darkness encases you in its skin crawling madness,
a light in you dies.
birdy Apr 2021
Why must you dissect every blemish upon me?
I am not who I appear to be.
Hereditary nonsense blinds your shallow opinions.

I will not allow myself to be shamed for something I did not create.
My body is deceitful, and vile.
It fools you with the same trickery,
showing you something that means nothing.

They struggle to piece together opinions with so little information.
Two categories.
Ugly.
Beautiful.
Labels easy to bestow, and nearly impossible to remove.

Your poor vision makes you cruel.
159 · Mar 2022
Blushing
birdy Mar 2022
My face ignites,
I can feel the red creep up.
My emotions may be bold,
But I wish to keep everything untold.
157 · Jan 2022
No one ever
birdy Jan 2022
Peeling back the layers
Citrusy and sweet
I want to know
How someone can be so
Perfect
153 · Apr 2022
Butterflies or Decay
birdy Apr 2022
love isn't sustainable,
these butterflies,
begin to feel like decay.
'love' eating me from the inside out.
153 · Apr 2022
Black Eye
birdy Apr 2022
Plump and purple like a plum.
149 · Apr 2021
I Am My Enemy
birdy Apr 2021
Mind-- inveigling me into anachronistic thoughts.

Self betrayal, stings the most, and cuts the deepest.
148 · Jan 2022
Recipe for Happiness
birdy Jan 2022
2 cups of tell me when you find it.
145 · Dec 2021
Journal entry 1
birdy Dec 2021
I've been dreaming of dying,
Sometimes I feel like I'm already gone.
145 · Jan 2022
The Stone Cold Truth
birdy Jan 2022
The world isn't your oyster
not everything is possible
not every dream is at the tip of your fingers
you won't always go down the right path
the world has limits
humans have limits
you have limits
144 · Apr 2022
Boy in my Dreams
birdy Apr 2022
The boy in my dreams is perfect,
yet jealous.
He prevents me from finding
a real boy,
For his allurement as a mere concept
outshines that of a flawed person.
144 · Apr 2024
“Are you well?”
birdy Apr 2024
I wish to be enthralled
by still waters,
as I am with thrashing waves

I wish I felt contentment
without the urge
to throw it all away

Happiness
spurs sabotage
in ways we can’t explain

Stability and boredom,

are they meant to feel the same?
142 · Jan 2024
Breathe In, Hold On
birdy Jan 2024
I went to that bridge,
the one nobody knows.
To stand on the railing,
in my pretty white clothes.
Then imagine the falling, falling,
the letting go…

Have my sins be forgiven
by the deep blue waters.
To which so many
lose sons and daughters.

Splashing,
crashing,
thrashing away.

I find myself still alive.
But beaten up enough,
that it’s easy to give in,
hard to survive.

An open escape,
yet I’m still desperately pleading.
Gasping for air to
breathe in,
breathe in and hold on.

Hold onto the sorrow.
Hold onto the pain.
Hold onto the life that drives you insane.
Feel the tension,
a storm in your brain.
Lightning cracks,
scream and shout.
Holding.
Holding.
Breathe it out,
out,
out,
out.

My plans, plans,
never really unfolding.

Mind chose to prevail.
Inhale, exhale.

My plans, plans,
never really unfolding.

Like when I fell in love,
with a boy who can’t be.
Cold feet, only getting colder.
Temperature dropping, dropping,
and you’re only getting older.
Time will keep passing,
now you can’t even hold her.
Your fingers still, limbs frozen over.

Your mind is dark,
I can’t find the match.
For the candles, candles,
and the spark won’t catch.

Happier alone,
that’s what he said.
Isolated from you
I feel six feet under,
dead.

Talkin about you,
like you’re already gone.
Mourn a man,
whom I’ve only fawned.

Oh how I wish
I could say good riddance,
let his death be a dawn,

To a new coming sun.
Breathe out his poison,
with a simple yawn.

Yet I still breathe in,
breathe in and hold on.

Hold onto the sorrow.
Hold onto the pain.
Hold onto the man that drives you insane.
Feel the tension,
a storm in your brain.
Lightning cracks,
scream and shout.
Holding.
Holding.
Breathe it out,
out,
out,
out.

Oh how I wish
I wasn’t so drawn
to deep brown eyes,
his siren songs.

Waters so alluring,
eye of the storm,
can you see me?
Do you watch me perform?

Make a fool of myself,
in my pretty white dress.
No longer so warm.

Are you hiding?
I’m pleading, please.
I need some confiding,
and I know you can see.
Please tell me…

Will I ever be free?
birdy Apr 2022
The building was consumed with the eerie presence of death,
Not only the seniors who had all but their mouths in the grave,
but also the souls of the children who once walked these halls.
The children, who unlike the current residences, had long lives ahead of them.
Now they lie in graves, unmarked, unrecognized, uncared for.
While the descendants of those who had killed them, are cared for on the very same land.
135 · May 2022
Unwilling Mind
birdy May 2022
If words could describe - only
how the heart
the heart is lonely
134 · Jan 2022
Journal entry 3
birdy Jan 2022
Life remains stagnant.
134 · Jan 2022
Thats just Life
birdy Jan 2022
You walk on broken legs
You taught me to fight with broken arms
Because you told me
"The world doesn't care if your hurting"
We have to make it care.
133 · Apr 2022
Instant Regret
birdy Apr 2022
Words bleed out of my wrists,
dying much faster than feelings.
131 · Apr 2024
I Think of You
birdy Apr 2024
The sky fades into the earth,

Between which
city lights and stars
flow seamlessly

Lights
impossibly small
hold vastness that I will never know
worlds I will never touch
souls I will never feel.

Seeing all this infinity,
I think of you.

Abstruse darkness
with millions of lights,

But only one is yours
and only one
can bring dawn
to my night
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