What fun may come today? More thieves of my field. More critters to eat cut steal. What fun may happen this hour? More diggin' planting? Cutting wires. What mishap may make me explode, more regulators to see out my field,the mountains are weary, California's growing old. What more must I do to pass this feeling of the farmers blues.

You can take the gun out of my hand
But you can't take my finger off the trigger.

I'm thirsty, but my well has run dry
I'm *****, yet still worthy
From the farmer stains on my jeans
And thighs.
I'm hungry, I'd pick a plant
If my plants were healthy enough to eat.
To bad their stealing some of my land
More cahoots from the fda
And regulation thieves.
Can't grow the way I want to
Lands been uprooted
The other farmboys are catching on
Look at Colorado
Yellow water sickens one
Making land polluted.
Out and booted
Though still standing the low ***** ground.
I'll stick head high here and by
My plow and ol farmers truck to the ground.
And a shotgun if any come around.

Take a bite of my pie
Gramps will take a
Bite of your
Eye, take a bite of
My apple, my farmhand
Will rip kick tackle.
Take a bite of my
Bird, you will end
Up with my hound
Dogs turds

***** boy's like ***** toy's, a farmer's hand's pick ***** dirt, a farmer's hand's need the water's squirt. A farmer's hand's pick tomatoes ripe, the farmer's hand's are awake at night.
The farmer's hand's have been places you couldn't imagine going.

I make a living, by farming and grit.
I make a living on crud and spit
Spit into the hands
Dirt on the shoe
A farmers hand playing the farmer blues.

Don't judge me by my farmer's beard
Don't judge me by my farming hand's
Don't judge me when your getting that judgement back
Don't judge me when your you I'm me, that's a gramps fact.
Don't judge me if youve never worked a day in your life
Don't judge me because I'm a little younger than my wife
Don't judge me if you have never met me
Don't judge me if you wanna play poker and bet me.
Don't judge me.
I'm a farmer.
The one who grows your food.
The one who made your land.

Marshmallow pillows I want to rest upon
Though I got more farming to do, the end
Of the season
It's hard to pull through.
Marshmallow meadow's I want to walk through
No more work
I'm tired
I'm wired on corn stew.
Ripped up, battered
By my farming hand's I'm tattered.
The fence hold's back the ladder
Where the little critter's come through.
Let them come,
That would be dumb
When my shotgun baby likes
To make holes in the sun.

Take heed youngin' seed's
When your early in age you laugh and you bleed
Then you get to thirty
Start getting bald.
Then fourty
Grey hair on your ball's,
Then moving fifty
Hair's all gone
Hit sixty *** drive goes
While your making TV dinners
Eating sloppy joes.
Seventy
Which I have not hit yet.
You myswell dig a grave
And kiss your behind like he's your pet
You might make ninety
If you do
Pull the plug
Hide under a rug
Let the mortician collect the dust
From your bald head-+

Someone called me a thinking poet
I call me a stinking poet-
Not a poet at all-
A brew stew of mucus
Puke froth substance
Putrid.
-
-
-
I'm getting old
More stupid
I puke
I keep poopin'
And the age isn't helping
Though I know as
A vet an a ex g.I. Joe
I'm unfolded like a bag of grapes
I've been through rage
Watched costly war tapes
And my mind
Is a plate
Of words
I just spew.
Someone give tape
To this old farmer
And shut my mouth
Before I explode
Like I'm hot
Glue.

As my body feels older I get to be.
Like a bridge fragile, tossed to bad sea's.
Searching while meandering
Singing in the fresh ****** breeze.
I might be ripe, but my tongue can slip
Like a knife
With butter on the blade
Slippery and it does not fade.
You get better in age.
I'm in the prime!

The molehill got bigger
Behind the red crimson barn. Gramp's gun today will have some fun. Shooting away at the furry rat bustard's!
Their holes have made my crop's a sickly figure
Creating my land into disaster
As a creating poet I'll write of the hole digger's
As a grandpa,
I'll shoot their brain out of their head's.
Mole day
Today their dead!

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

2. Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius!

3. What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? About three inches.

Who's master do you serve?
Asked the mistress to Mr longnhard
I serve
Master Bation,
Replied Mr longnhard
The mistress replied back
'Do you have any idea how I get ahold of this master Bation?
Mr longnhard replied'
You can get ahold of him you just need one or two finger's
To reach out to him!

Craps and giggles
Gives me a smile
Jokes on a bad day
Give me a stimulation
I feel old but young in age

This elder body is held together by year's of farmer straw and hay, by mud
By clay.
In the simplest way I'm young though gray
There is no night and day
Or in-between fine lines.
When you get this age
Every day is a day of your last and a time of remembering good times.

Took a walk today
days are hotter.
Gramps belly is bigger,
Cali seems to be stranger.
The weather seems like a killer.
And my crop is being scorched by the overheat of the valley winter.
I think this years going to be a bad one for crops.
Farm shock.

Someone called me a wild caveman today
Guess who that little voice was who told me that
My grand baby
What a treasure for gramps.
She is right
Im as wild as two baboons babooning in a room from a cheap
Hotel.
Im wild .

Today I cleaned out the old barn
It was red now its rusted, bled.
The animals needed fed, and I fed them to maximum limit.
Their fat and big
Animals for the slaughter.
The chickens will be already stuffed
With their stuffing
And butter.
Gramps is hungry as a bullfrog.

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion.

Did you hear about the guy who ran infront of the bus? He got tired .

On the tractor today
Ran over a chipmunk
And its brain scattered on
The tires of the tractor,
What a stink mess.

With grandpa's avocado farts
As in the days of moses
The red sea parts.
When grandpa gets a chuckle
I'm contagious
Pretty outrageous
Your naughty sincere uncle.
When gramps takes off his pants
Let's dance.

I think I'm getting a little older
Now that my ****'s are turning gray
My Beard's turning to gas
And I have ***** hair's
Crawling out of my -

A special invite i got
To a ballroom party today.
Do I look like a ballroomer,
I'm a filth **** dirt
Hard working man who plows his field.
I'm not meant for some fancy suit dancing.
Unless.
There's a fine poetry lady to dance with me
Then I'll be whatever the invite wants me to be.

What do you call two friends for life who just hang back low?
Testies for life-

Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts go up
Pants go down
Body to body Skin to skin
When its stiff
Stick it in
The Longer its in
The Stronger it gets
It goes in dry And comes out wet
It comes out dripping And starts to sag
Its not what you think......
Its a Teabag



Unknown author, gives me the chucklers

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.
Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!
...Next Day...
(Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!
Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 20 BUCKS for climbing the flagpole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn't wearing underwear.
Mom:



A **** has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an *******; his best friend is a *****, and his owner beats him habitually.

Up-to-the-minute news I must take a look
The news in California is not stored
In drawer's or books.
There are freaks here and strangies.
Who will take off their pant's,
Prisoners by the dozen
That will sweet you with romance.
Some will **** you here
Some with **** they'll smear.
Welcome to California,
There are crazies here.

I just might have to trip
To the Anza-Borrego Desert State Park today, I've longed for a good park experience lately, this place, a place of the Colorado desert of southern California, hot dusty climate, just might match my skin, or will it crisp my skin off my grainey bones, its open 9-5pm, I think I might be a naughty dotty and stay past park hours. Looking forward to the fishhook cactus, and the
Apricot Mallow's. A good trip for this man of old and hollow.

Didn't know the young man Mr ded poet I just like to say may you young man find peace in your needing time's.



Friend bill,

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got behind in his work.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used ****** and ask him which period it came from.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ****!

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?  I want you inside me!

What kind of bee's produce milk?
******* .

When your colon is swollen
Use a little milk of magnesia it will give you amnesia
To how sore your **** really is gonna be
Afterward's.

Some thing's can get a little hairy
A little scary
A little daring
blood-curdling are the little vermin
Who love to digest down my harvest.
How they got a surprise coming,
With the good winchester model 37.
Take the little vermin to creepy crawly heaven.

I might be a filthy old rat
At least i know what fun is
And these day's
Old Prune's forget to have fun.
Thats why their dead by forty.
Ill live to 100.

Do us old farts really need testies
They get in the way of
Our branches.

Western pie
On the mind
No not pie
That you buy.
My wife's
Giggle
Giggle.

Filthy, ******,
Who likes nutty buddy's?
Nutty bar you *****.

The older I get
The crazier I get.
I like the word crazy
Because I'm a crazy old coot.

Crack a whip?
Or crack a nut?
In your mid to high sixties
You will be cracking bones legs and your smelly old ****

Why is an old wrinkled ***** up
Late as I am right now
Down boy, we peed already
Down.

Good way to keep the
Neighbor away from your field........... Slipping rat poison in the next avocado he want's to steal from me.

Did I just see an ASSAPANICK
Is it time to panic
Or shoot him since he loves messing with my avocado's"
Wait up, that's my rat of a neighbor, I'll tab his fine
Down on paper.

Wanna make me boil?
Take my food
Bundle it in iron foil.
Wanna touch this nature
Go out in the field
Work for me
It's fine, I'll pay you for the slave labor.

Hey there's an avocado over there
Yes, there young man:
There's a tomato over there
Plop, yes, in my hand's.
Juicy, ripe, ready for a pickin'
See you later son, have to go to the grandmom's request,
She has hot juice ready for me
And some egg's, toast
Waiting in my kitchen.
Not to mention
Something else ripe for the picking.

Someone say
Filth, ****, dirt,
Just ask me
I'll take off my shirt.

Jimminy crickets
I found
Snot
On gramps McDonalds biscuit.

Tonight
The ***** time
Of soak and poke
And
Grandmam's
Is all mine.

Grampy
Needs stimulated,
Grammy is irritated.
The old slapper hand is the best tool for releasing
Down and ***** stress.
I think gram's is coming
Think I need best hide it.
Down boy, down!

The ****** rats
Didint escape old man's trap
So now they nap
Next to my pups food bowl
And yummy monkeys
The puppy's full.