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98 · Aug 2019
I love you
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
I love you...
Three words said to often,
The meaning is nothing...
Three words that heart mend,
And break and bend...
I love you...
He never meant it,
Just send it...
I love you...
Three words to use the abused,
But they never end up as bruised...
97 · Aug 2019
Teachers Teach
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
Past year ten,
You don't have to be here.
Don't have to sit,
And listen.
It's all up to you,
To make your education dear.
And whether they want,
Teachers are unforgiving.
97 · Jun 2020
parent...
Bella-Lee Jun 2020
Absolve my sins,
Let me free.
Don't hold me captive,
For I long to be me.

Though my heart,
May belong to someone else.
There is still a spot,
For yourself.

Please don't torment me,
And force me to hide.
For when I'm out,
All I get is your snide.

Sometimes I feel as though,
Nothing's ever enough for you.
I think you don't love me,
When you say that I don't love you.

Maybe you want it,
To be true...
My heart breaking,
At the sight if you.
97 · Aug 2020
Songs
Bella-Lee Aug 2020
Their songs play,
Allure me to sweet melodies.
Anticipating words they say,
Obscure obscenities?
Their words of love,
Participating premeditated thoughts.
Rhyming about things we crave,
Writing in knots.

Let me create a sound,
No one's heard before.
Scream it out loud,
I need more...
Than just songs...
95 · Feb 2020
...:/
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Hopefully death graces my lips,
That were once full of life.
And taking me with one,
Final fatal breathless kiss.
***** my soul and my will,
Out of my quaking body.
95 · Jun 2020
What am I to you?
Bella-Lee Jun 2020
What am I to you?
But a,
horrible daughter.
I can't see through,
My tears right now.

What am I to you?
But a,
Nasty sister.
However all my secrets,
Are spilled by you.

What am I to you?
But a,
Disappointment.
Where am I supposed to go,
If out of this house I am sent?
94 · Sep 2019
Pawns
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
Am I who you want or am I just another one of ur pawns in this game we call life?
At the start I am not valuable but when I reach the end I am a queen...
After all the moves I make,
All the steps I am going to take,
I will be stronger without a king.
The king taking one step,
slowly tip toing around uprising situations.
While I can destroy you oh glorious king.
And if such rivalries come across,
I will swipe the board clean before the death of my king.
Your knights knocked off of there horses high,
And your bishop's will slowly die.
Both ur castles crumbling down,
your queen her blood so dark she shall shorely drown.
Each pawn making it's way off the game.
Whether your white or black, bad or good, you must pick your side for the one im not on shall always end in disaster...
93 · Feb 2020
Roll off
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Words roll off,
My sweetened lips.
Like water off,
My finger tips.

Tears roll off,
My pale cheeks.
Like memories off,
My troubled mind.
92 · Sep 2019
S - e - a
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
A sailor died,
Drowning in the tears he cried.
And he sunk to the bottom,
Of the ocean he created.
No one mourned over,
The death of another...
Lost soul,
To the sea.
91 · May 2020
You are
Bella-Lee May 2020
You are a unicorn,
In a world full of horses.
A ripple in the ocean,
Guiding the crashing waves.
You are beautiful,
And serene.
Another star burning,
In the night sky.
Don't let go,
Of the hope you hold onto.
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
Slow beat,
Just like your heart
beat.
Few words,
Mean a lot like your
words.
Mellowed tunes,
Soft and slow like your
lips so tender.
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
If God does exist,
Tell me why his hands and touch was nailed into my skin,
Like dirt trapped under a finger nail.
Where you'd scrub and scrub to wash it out,
But it just won't come out.
No no no no, stop stop stop stop,
No plea for a young girl would ever be heard let alone cause for any thing to stop.
If God exists,
Tell me why some times I relive this day over and over,
Wondering if he did this to other girls other than me?
Some times this was the main cause of my suffering and depression,
If anyone knew, I wouldn't be accepted.
So my words became violent knives I used but did not attack anyone with,
No I didn't attack anyone but myself.
Was this all I was worth? Some sexualized tool?
If younger boys could take advantage of me,
Who is to save me from the greater evil of the world?
If God does exist, tell me why he allows ****** assault.
Tell me why he allows for this monster to be engraved in my skin,
Where I can't love without feeling hurt or anxiety?
Cause sometimes I think...
What's the point in living?
#metoo
88 · Aug 2019
To someone I use to know
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
I need you to know...
You are amazing,
You are smart.
You are caring,
You are worth it.
You are adorable.
And no...
You aren't useless.
You aren't horrible,
You aren't worthless.
I love you...
And yes...
Even when you're sad too.
You are my everything now,
I need you to know...
I never want you to feel down.
88 · Dec 2019
Untitled
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
My heart is like a voice inside my head,
My soul is guided and lost among the dead.
Yet I think I'm alive,
But I breathe like I only just died.
88 · Apr 2020
Movement
Bella-Lee Apr 2020
When I let you down,
Please get up.
You're always right,
I'm always wrong.
My heads spinning around,
Please just wait for me.
Don't make me move,
Don't make me go.
I still love you,
I hope you still love me too?
86 · Mar 2020
Fantasy
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Pink and small,
Bald headed and all.
For nineteen year old parents,
the delicate squeeze and hug, filled their hearts…

Then she grew up,
And two years later there's another.
Maybe the next one would be better,
Better than the first screaming terror.
Nothing more that they wanted than a decent sleep,
But once she grew up it would be fine.

Life wasn’t hard for the kids,
Unaware of what was going on.

Now let’s skip forward a few years...

Opening the gates of hell it was,
Walking into nothing but screams and torture rooms.
Where two little girls,
Dreamt of a land of fairy tales and mystery.
Much of a hell school seemed,
It was made better.

Jumping lines chased by goblins and dragons,
Fairies handing lemon grass as they sat on the oval.
Evil witches walked through the complex.
Bucktoothed, ginger, freckled witches.

The fantasy began to fray,
As they grew up and moved away.
I still remember the fun we once had,
Before I moved and everything turned bad.
86 · Mar 2020
Worthless
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Ever get that feeling,
That you're not good enough?
Or maybe,
That you are worthless...
Easily replaceable?

Yeah same,
I feel it in a place I'm supposed to call home.
86 · Dec 2019
Float
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Don't think that if you drown,
You will float.
Cause your life will end as fast as,
The arrival of that life boat.
And just because you're on land again,
Doesn't mean you're alive.
86 · May 2020
Take Me Away
Bella-Lee May 2020
Rip my heart right out of my chest,
And take my breathe away.
Stutter my words cause I always forgot,
What I meant to say.

Cause I,
Never really want to let go.
And I,
Never really want to try
To make this pain fade.

So take my soul,
Take my soul away.
And save my love,
For another day.
Just take me away,
Take me away from here.
86 · Oct 2019
I heard...
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
I heard you're back again:
The feelings again start to begin
The desire
To be something you admire.

I heard the whispers about me:
The standard set of me.
The hurt
Leaving my heart ashed and burnt.
Two feelings
85 · Mar 2020
i hate you
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Three words I never said,
Except you hear me say it in your head.

I hate you.

...But in reality I dont...
85 · Nov 2019
Lies
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
Good girls and bad guys,
Make up perfect lies.
No one knows what's true,
Their trust in now through.
85 · Nov 2019
Refrain
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
Refrain from bad thoughts though they linger,
Dark ooze dripping from finger to finger.
And refrain from depression even though she looks,
Like a goddess over top as she looms.
Abstinence is a must have,
Yes refrain from ****** pleasure.
Refrain from love,
As it will break your heart.
Refrain from life,
As one day you shall part.
Break free from the chains,
That chains that have you under restrain.
Refrain,
From keeping your words under strain.
Don't be scared to take control of your life. Do what you want. Be free. And never ever let anyone restrain your thoughts and life.
84 · May 2020
words
Bella-Lee May 2020
Sometimes I feel
my words go amiss
my thoughts are real
the soul they do kiss

my words say sorry
for the emotions they admit
i don't want you to worry
the fire they lit...
wont consume me
83 · Dec 2019
Why do you love me?
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Why do you love me?
Because you are perfect
How tho? And all the reasons he listed them,
you are beautiful
smart
funny
a lil weird
**** af
I'd never been happier in my life til,
And you are the love of my life
Just as that list made it's conclusion,
I know from now on I will love him for all my life.
83 · Mar 2020
Hug
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Hug
The closest I can get,
To a hug.
Is your jumper I wear,
Every night.
82 · Dec 2019
Told me
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Told me you want me,
But you let me go.
Told me you need me,
But you don't let it show.
82 · Mar 2020
In my dreams
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
In my dreams I can see you with somebody else,
Holding hands like you ain't seen by no one else.
In my dreams I picture you with someone else,
Dreaming dreams we are yet to dream ourselves.
Oh In my dream when I can't fall asleep,
In my dreams in this terrible nightmare.
81 · Jan 2020
My Place
Bella-Lee Jan 2020
My place is fun...
It's wrapped in your arms,
Watching rom-coms and action films.

My place is quiet...
When we sleep side-by-side,
Your body heat keeping me warm.

My place is unique...
Like you're laugh and humour,
And the face you make at the camera for me.

My place is emulous...
A longing call for most people,
Yet only attainable by me and my person.

My place is home...
And my home is with you.

My place...
Is you!
80 · Apr 2020
Out
Bella-Lee Apr 2020
Out
I know this town,
Like the back of my hand.
Trying to find a way out,
But I doubt they'd understand.
80 · Mar 2020
Suck it up Princess
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Stand up princess,
Up proud and tall.
**** it up princess,
Or your crown may fall.
Cover your tears,
With a smile and make-up.
Mascara smears,
Down eyes and somehow up.
Don't worry princess,
You haven't got much to go.

My brain's a mess,
It just lets the tears flow.
80 · Dec 2019
Sometimes
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Sometimes I wish I was different,
Sometimes I wish I was normal.
Sometimes I wish those two statements,
Didn't have the same meaning...
79 · Jan 2020
Story
Bella-Lee Jan 2020
And the story,
Went like this.
Her life wasn't misery,
Only as much as she took.
But,
She couldn't take it much.
So her heart took over her eyes,
To find the love she had lost.
79 · Mar 2020
I dont want to be here
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
I don't want to be here,
Can you see?
I can't hold back the tears,
Burning down my face to rejoin the sea.

I'm torn apart again,
Don't you notice I'm broken?
My smile has faded,
It hurts to keep my eyes wide open.

To pretend another day,
I told you that I'm fine.
I don't want to be here,
Shouldn't that be enough of a sign?
Change your ways
79 · May 2020
Enough?
Bella-Lee May 2020
My mother became violent,
My sister kept yelling.
I sat there feeling it,
Hoping I was dreaming.

I am the problem,
Am I not?
It's hard to impress them,
If all I do is never enough.
My little sister (14) and my mum seem to like to being me down lately. Is anything I do ever enough?
79 · Dec 2019
Untitled
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
After 124 poems,
Maybe 3 words
Are more powerful
Than infinity
78 · Nov 2019
Love <3
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
I crave a love so pure,
My heart melts to gold.
I have found him,
My heart now sold.
He is my future,
My one and only.
All my cards out,
To him I love you I told.
78 · Aug 2019
Feelings
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
I don't want to be here,
Can you see.
Can't hold back the tears,
It burns.
I'm torn apart again,
I'm broken.
My smile has faded,
It hurts.
To pretend another day,
I'm fineeeeeee.
Im just publishing from my secret stash of poems
Hope yo guys like
78 · Aug 2019
Super-market boy part 2
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
Sunday,
Today, I'm just going to say hey...
Nope,
He'll say hey back, I hope...
F**k,
Told him I think he's cute...
Thanks,
Is all I get back...
Why do I lack,
All the confidence everyone has...?
Honest I hate my anxiety, he probably has a girlfriend
77 · Oct 2019
Hey...
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
And I know after every day,
You'll at least text me hey.
I'll write down all the things I wanted to say,
Not letting one word whither or fray.
Cause I know for now you'll stay,
And I'll be happy for today.
76 · Oct 2019
I'm back
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
Hi,
I'm back.
No silly haha
My names not back.
But to be completely honest,
Actually I'm not back.
I never left,
I was here every single day.
I sat behind my phone screen,
Waiting for you,
Typing...
To text back.
But you didn't,
I think I know why now.
So hi again,
Maybe now you can reply?
76 · Dec 2019
Longing to belong
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Loves never left me this bitter,
Sitting next to you is giving me jitters.
This summer's becoming the coldest winter,
Trying to save ourselfs from all the shivers.
And here I am,
The loneliest sinner.
Floating up into the atmosphere,
Some where away from here.
Where I can't breathe,
Cause I can't sleep,
And I can't eat,
Even when I'm on my own two feet.
I need to get away,
Where I feel safe I can stay.
Somewhere I belong.
75 · Oct 2019
Loss of Love...4
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
Everyone’s been in love at least once,
They say love is the most dangerous drug.
You become irrational and that firm grip on reality
Flies out the window when you grip on for a hug
Don’t deny it, we both love and hate
It’s written in the blood we all shed
Love we show and all makes us human
Or we are better six feet under… Dead.
75 · Sep 2019
Shallow
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
You didn't get the j-
Ist this sky is turning orange
As the sunsets across the meadow,
And I'm drowning in the shallow - end
74 · Dec 2019
Loved
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Poems if sung,
Have the potential to be lyrics.
You if being yourself,
Have the potential to be loved.
Melodies are melodies,
Doesn't matter what a few people think...
One person out there will love it,
And will love your melody written in your stories.
Don't give up! Be yourself, love yourself, and everyone who sees your beauty will love you for yourself!
74 · Jan 2020
Genie
Bella-Lee Jan 2020
My genie the bottle or magic lamp,
Shall I request your service?
I have a wish or maybe two,
Could you do for me atleast that?

For my first I wish the world,
Was a paradise for all.
No war, no poverty, no killing, no death,
Nothing to cause pain at all.

My second is much closer to my heart,
To be with the one I love and never part.
Love him freely and openly,
Not anyone else.

Do as you please with my third wish,
Give it to someone else who needs it more.
Genie in my hand may I rub this lamp,
And set you free for my wishes?
What would you do with the third wish?
74 · Oct 2019
Loss of Love...5
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
Whether we will ever like it or not
And our love is for our family or someone else
We all suffer the loss of someone we love
And so slowly you loss that part of yourself
74 · Feb 2020
Writing
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Words unwritten,
Are words unsaid.
As they leap off the page,
Towards you.
When words are there written,
They are what you make of it.
Emotions and stories,
Morals that help ease the soul.
So make what you will,
Make off with my writing I have not said.
72 · Oct 2019
Loss of Love...3
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
Family is the only love I see and know
It’s etched into our heart and into our soul
A mother, a son, a daughter, a friend
These are the things that make hearts feel whole.
72 · Feb 2020
Use of Words
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Words we write are paper thin,
Can rip, fray and wither away.

Words we say cannot always win,
The battles we all undergo.

Words like knives that cut like sin,
Won't hurt as much as a bullet through skin.

Words explain feeling and thoughts in,
Ways our bodies cannot comprehend.
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