...
if I were to speak out
in a freak out
and let loose
amplifying my truth
most would label it rage
would vote that I continue to keep it in it's cage
no one cares enough to see that it's pain
because then they'd have to study every molecule of rain
and take some accountability for every stain
and so far I've never been worth that
so I lay down my defense in combat
you get the win
apparently life is so broken
that love and devotion
isn't enough to consider a win
in order for me to be wanted
i must accept their sin
but untill I reach perfection
no one finds me enough to put any effort in
so what I'm working towards
is impossible for me to personally imagine
my dream is now a has been
flip me upside down to see my grin
...

Everything
Is supposed to mean something
But most of the time
Love means nothing
It's thee
Most deadly
Empty
Word ever muttered by a human being
To another human being
Since before love was a written thing
When you
Had to
Show what you mean
I beg someone
To give it a run
Please change my mind
I'll give you all of eternities time
Because that's how long I've been lost in the reasoning

Drowning,
Panicking
My pain less of a concern than my bleeding
Who cares about a life leaking?
Pointless thinking
Pay no mind to the fracture
Or the seizing
My end welcomed with a greeting
But not by me
My will is depleting,
Hope is retreating,
Am I coming
Or going?
A lack of confidence winning
Because manhood's deflating
And there's no refilling allowed since the beginning

Careless as I know you are,
Heartless can be seen from afar
Like a lighthouse from the sea
So I know you see
My desperate pleading
Muffled by the calamity of deceiving
I mean quote, unquote "living"
Or "believing"
Or fill in the blank with your meaning
Tell me the first meeting
Equals the year 15 evening
Yeah...
Love is beyond fleeting
And I'm partnered with loves nothing
Everything is repeating
From happy to grieving
I feel sorry for who's doing the tallying

Emotions are deceiving
Leaving
Pain to continue feeding
Taking
It's not something I'm giving
Eliminating
Without asking
Left unknowing
The plot's ongoing
But the abuse is showing
As I'm imploding
Slow enough to recognize
That maybe the whole thing...

...is pointless

©2025

I can no longer pretend
Regardless
I'm flexible on when
Just let it be painless

©2025

Anger found me early on
Pain came with conception
Love could never quite make a connection
A prime concoction
To fuel a blind rage and hide direction
Like an infection
Who's creation
Did I step in?
Am I the lead in this production,
Or just a reflection?
I'll need to reflect on
Even the parts of me I hate on
But hold on...
Do I want the answers to this particular question?
That's the cliff hanger,
Stay tuned for the conclusion

©2025

Weighed down in the longest part of each darker day
Kicking rocks to find that missing spark and maybe see some gray
This is where time reaches maximum decay
Would I notice losing and entire day?
At what point will it become my choice not to stray?
I can't complain if I choose to stay

I'm drowning in the confusion of life's word play
If I can only hold my breath just a little longer than the mayday
"By tomorrow this will already be yesterday"

But I'm needed today

I can't remember to ask you to remind me not to put this on you so forgive me but refresh me,
What was you and what got through that I had to say?
I wonder that in the best way
I also mess up royally, here's a pocket dossier
I'm in no place to judge the price to pay

Try to keep the fears
And two lifetimes of multiple parallel timelines of tears at bay
But there on the floor I lay
Once again I find myself in my own way
I danced with the devil under the pale moon light
It was such an intricate ballet
Just for me to say
Nothing good comes that isn't then stripped away

©2025

What is that doing here?
It reminds me to remember a particular fear
How peculiarly sincere
But I have enough of that
So take it all the way back
It never fails to stick if and when I wander near

I've said it before
Both coming in and walking out the door
My vocal cords ring sore
You feed me Okay's
Say, "to hell with past days"
No more tears moped up off a shared floor

I've heard many things
So many things said many ways by many human beings
It's gone beyond repeating
Lost my sense of real
What's a partnerships appeal?
Even good beginnings befall painful endings

Keep the goodby
Trade it for another "never again" lie
And a slice of American pie
Words hold little truth
Slippery, not unlike a noose
That no one this time will be able to untie

©2025

I'd like to have a single today
Without the thoughts of a yesterday
And one nights worth of restless sleep
With no looming doom of a tomorrow that has a promise to keep

©2025