sure I'd *******
if you want to
but conditions apply
there's a list of reasons why
you may deny my acceptance

1. turn off the lights
I feel safer under the shelter
of a night sky illusion
where your hands are guides
to the lines of my body
and you're too distracted to draw conclusions
about the fact that i gained ten pounds
it sounds like I want to hide from you
but in truth it's not you
it's the curves of my stomach
the stretch marks on my legs
only the light can reveal my disfigured shape

2. don't leave hickey's on my neck
my skin is a blank canvas
yet to be burdened with bruises
so there are no excuses
for leaving them where eyes roam
you don't have to be gentle
I don't mind coming home
and seeing your art work
but I don't want to have to explain
it will **** the beauty
when everyone can see
what somebody else could do to me

3. don't make promises you won't keep
don't decide to hold me
and tell me you love me
I accept your arms around my shoulders
I will not listen to your words
murmurs of nothing mean nothing to me
and I find it hard to believe
another girl won't fill the space
in the bed I'd once been
if it isn't forever
then let's not pretend
i'd much rather love you
and say you're a friend

4. play records in the back
I don't want to hear silence
or the sound of our movement
anything but nothing
would be an improvement
the whine of a vocalist hitting my ears
is the only thing that may keep me sane
I can never think straight
this strain on my brain can only be tamed
by the gentle noise
of Arabella in my head
If I can only hear your labored breaths
i will never feel relaxed
when I'm in your bed

5. don't do it again
I know the game
I'm willing to play
but I will not succumb twice
my heart may break the next day
when I realize your phone call
got lost in the mail
so I have to cut ties
because I'm not dumb
I mean nothing more
than any girl you had before
you see I do not pretend
that you love me
I know that tomorrow is the end
so do not ask me to come back
because I will
don't attack my heart with hope
when none remains

agree and i'll *******
if you still desire
true it seems strange
what I ask is required
I don't think it's too needy
just five simple tasks
but if it's too much
forget that I asked

For five seconds please think of me
When your eyes can't see anything but the bottom of the bottle
Try and see me
Feel my hands reaching out to you
When your tired eyes close but your legs still move
Plummeting towards pavement
I will catch you as you fall
When you tell me you're fine don't think I believe you
I can count the bottles missing from your bag

1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Stop
Please stop

Through the haze of smoke keep looking
Don't think I won't care
Don't think you're okay
I won't hate you
I don't hate you
Please stop
Listen to my voice in your head and follow
My hands are steady
As yours are not

You say you're alright as you giggle
Flip your hair, fix your dress
You're fine
But your legs shake as if the ground quakes below you
No you're not stupid
Call me and I will come
Cry and I will comfort
Nobody will hate you as much as you will in the morning
If you do call me I will take you home
Wherever you feel safe I'll go
Stop and think
When you wake up and ache up from your feet to your head
I will be there
I am there to care, laugh and tell you you're fine
Your mistakes were made
You can't go back
But the next time you stand on the cliff's edge
Teetering Towards Trouble
Turn around and run to me

I can see your bloodshot eyes
But I don't judge
I've got a heart to sympathize with and when you realize this
You won't feel lost

There was a time I didn't worry
Then again I had no reason
Now I have 5
I'm not your angel
I'm your friend
I'm a blur after ten drinks
But I am here
Whenever you need

1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Stop
And think of me

Sometimes,
           even in Darkness,
                               you can still find the most beautiful of things.

*It's just a matter of finding the courage to walk through such Darkness.