Stare into my eyes and see the hell i hide behind
Some people say i changed and its harder to relate to me
Good our relationship was make believe
I want life to change but i dont know if it can for a machine ,man whatever the **** i am

Its 12:05 and I'm not really feeling alive
I dive into situations understanding possible outcomes
But how come i can't have the things i want the way i want
Or maybe i can't have the things that downgrade me
I cant forget ive been saved
Lately you all have been forgetting about me

Sorry to interrupt
Let me'be the first to say life is corrupt
I fall back into bad habits i tried to be happy
But everyone was mad 'killed my mood
Dude i wake up in the night not wanting to live !
I've said before i got so much to give
Noone listens noone cares
I just stare into the black abyss where my heart was

Stayed inside my room all thrown sick
Hoping someone would savee from my doom quick
I'm still here nobody is coming
I'm going to die here or i got to keep running

Im not trying to be the same as him or her
Im just a tiny raimdrop in a million others
Oh brother the earth is alot
So why is it i cannot become something bigger
Maybe its not what i want
Sure i want happiness and luaghter
But i wouldn't want that all to my self
I want good health and wealth
But not all to myself i want you and you and you
To be happy with me , a big family
With our ups and downs keep everything is cool
And like a school we'll learn we can let thaat fire burn
Take turns to teach love and peace
Keep the light shining in the dark
Take part in something big just make a step
And love everybody

long nights with my dreams alone
I got that voice in my head saying its alright
Why do i treat everybody with love when i get none bacK
Thats dumb i need to stop
Prop my own back up because im tough
Life is rough and i crave a touch
But theres no.such thing

Listen here ive been ivan c for 16 years
I have a few fears like dying and going to hell
So listen to what i tell you the devil is in the air
While you live life without a care
I'm here with family & friends
When the end comes im ready
Im just living life steady
Take apart my heart and ive won from the start

Hey can i talk to you ?
My imaginary love
Let me tell you how i feel , wich you care nothing of
I saw 2 or 3 doves fly out of a tree
I said wow that was beautifully free
You were standing next to me being pretty as always
Not paying attention so i didnt bother asking
Im always writing about you and on my phone
Forever multi tasking
So much faces saying hi and passing me by
I cant even lie i like eye to eye conversation
But you're not there you're not here
You're nowhere near my imaginary love

I prefer to feel every emotion
Sad happy mad and more
Im not sure when death will come knocking on my front door
My heart drops to the floor everytime i think of love
Too the girl i want to hug i feel i always bug
A tug of war with pride and my own life
Am i winning ?
WHy do my thoughts keep spinning

The next 4 hours of my life are the most tiring
It's inspiring me to get a better job
I enjoy my days off with a little corn on the cob
People say it's easy but they don't even know
I'm wondering why time goes so slooowwww

You girl are an exotic flower
Your beauty posses mystical power
I want to hold you in my arms and never let go
Let me know youll never change
No matter the range of the weathers
Wether its with me or someone else
I pray you stay in good health
Dont let no one hold you to tight and wound you
Youll make it to see a sunny day and vroom through

I spray paint on the wall
Write on bathrom stalls
Its alot of trouble for a teen
But everywhere i go im a star of the scene  never get much attention dealing with a school suspension tension and stressing having a heart is a blessing seeing my art to