Do you know who I am
The irrelevant fact that will always be relevant
Do you know who I am
The queen of your dream
The queen of my days
If you don't know who I am
You should know

I tumble through weeds and begin to drown.
When I look up I view a face with a frown.
My solution to hide from it is to look down.
Clawing, scraping at what I have left--the ground.
Losing control, less control, lost control
Losing heart, losing mind, losing soul.
You dig deeper into my skin than I can dig in the dirt.
One day I realized it no longer hurt.
To hear every stick and stone you would blurt.
It only made me see that your manners were curt.
Losing control, less control, lost control
Losing heart, losing mind, losing soul.
Your invasion now has little power
But I can't say it will be gone within the hour.
Still I bloom like a flower
That has been stunted by a selfish rain shower.
Losing control, less control, lost control
Losing heart, losing mind, losing soul.

I'd watched the hills drink the last colour of light,
All shapes grow bright and wane on the pale air,
Till down the traitorous east there came the night
And swept the circle of my seeing bare;
Its intimate beauty like a wanton's veil
Tore from the void as from an empty face.
I felt at being's rim all being fail,
And my one body pitted against space.
O heart more frightened than a wild bird's wings
Beating at green, now is no fiery mark
Left on the quiet nothingness of things.
Be self no more against the flooding dark;
There thousandwise, sown in that cloudy blot,
Stars that are worlds look out and see you not.

The thoughts pile up
Pushing hard against my lips
Trying to find a way to make sense

i could feel pain in my dream
i would woke up
with a shaky breath
sweating from head to feet
remembering the pain that i felt
in my dream

i would dream about being stabbed
and then i could feel it
the pain of thin metal sharp object
landed on my bodies

i would dream about falling from a top of a building
i could feel how my body smash on the floor
i would dream about being shot
i could feel the bullet penetrate through my nose

"it's just a dream" they said
but they don't understand
how the pain in my dream bring me
into the circle of madness
made me have this dark color
under my eyes
made me don't want to feel
the ray of sunlight