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 Oct 2014 Beebz The Queen
M
I wrote this for you because there were times I wish someone had written this for me-

Stop hating your reflection, stop hating the girl that is in your mirror. She is you, and you must love your fingertips to your eyelashes, your toes to your stomach all the way down to the edges of your soul and the depths of your heart.

Stop letting him be your world. Have you ever looked at a map? Have you even seen where the rivers go? Have you ever realized that you can get in the car and go? Don't tell me no, because it's true. Instead of following the rivers you let him create them and they flow down your face. Stop swimming in your tears, don't drown in his consuming love. Swim far away and resurface. Breathe in and out. Get out of the water and dry your tear soaked face off, and don't swim until you're ready again.

Stop letting your insecurities shape your mind. They're like needles injected into your body, leaving injuries and drops of blood while extracting your strength to put those thoughts to sleep. You have to learn to form your pretty little fingers into fists and start fighting off those nagging voices in your head that say you aren't good enough. Throw a punch, take a hit, get back up, wipe the sweat off your forehead and do it again. Battle until you come out bruised but on top, exhausted but a winner.

Stop letting him be your measure of worth. His attention and love will never, in your lifetime, fill the void where your own self love should be. He, nor any one guy, will ever fill your heart the way your own self love could. I promise you that loving yourself is so much more rewarding than someone else loving you. I promise I promise I promise.

Stop making excuses. Are you really happy or is that what you project? Is your smile real? Does he make you genuinely smile anymore? Are you falling asleep in his arms feeling alone? Are you?

Stop reading these words and start doing. I wrote this for you because I know he never would.
Please don't say "I love you"
Please don't steer me wrong
We've been through this a million times
But you've done it all along

I've tried everything
That I could
But I cannot bring myself
To love you like I should

You and I both know
It doesn't happen that fast
But all you say
Is it was meant to last

And I wish I could change my mind
To fit your standards
But you know I'm locked in my shell
Trapped by your expectations

So please don't say "I love you"
Please don't let me down
Don't jump into this, like it's that easy
Cause you know that I'm never coming around
Her feet bled mist.
As shes apocalyptic-
Walking--

When people wilt.
She can't help,
But watch.

The tears half-trip
Downwards; stumbling-
Storms

And a second,
A moment--
A century



Too late she'd gone.

Whiskers lay silent,
In places that
Couldn't be reached.


Onyx fell-
It never said
Goodbye-or-hello

For this ink sowed-
A-seed-inside-
Hymn hearts--
And waited.


She's catastrophic--
Stillness,

Leaning on glazed
Eyes I watch,
And fall asleep.
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