The only reason
I tear my skin
is to free the feeling of you
rushing through my blood

I won't be the weak one,
Although when I think and speak
I may tweak some I'm just
Searching for reasons
To justify the swell.
I will ride the undertow
Sunken beneath bass lines 
And blunt tails
Intending to take it slow.
But I get a little excited sometimes, you know.
So when this undertow undoubtedly 
Washes me ashore
I'll be the imaginary statue 
Erected in my honor
Proudly saluting every fleeting
Emotion that sailed
Straight through my harbor.
You see, 
Harboring hatred is a trait
I forfeited
To make way for the minuscule moments and glimpses
Of human existence penetrating
Layers of jade and years
Of conditioning and I am successfully
Transitioning into persistently 
Acknowledging the raindrops 
As they hit the pavement and pop.
You see some people feel the rain
While others just get wet,
A wise Rastafarian 
Once famously said.
And I think on it all
Far too frequently for a quiet mind
But I've never had one of those
Not even after rolling papers
Intertwine and smoke fills my eyes,
Because I am accustomed 
To a constant consciousness
And I'd much rather this
Than nothingness
And thus I sit, contemplating 
Consequence 
Aspiring to avoid the guilt of 
Seasons past,
For I am past the point of
Punishment and pain ghosts and
I have plenty of pangs from all
The echoes
In my brain and in these
Rattled apartment's stains
It's not all in vain 
Life grows these varicose
Veins
Colored-in, crawling across the
Window panes 
Of the chamber where my soul remained
Through the bridge until the end of
The refrain.
I am in reign. 
I rock the crown.
I roll the dice when 
I am down
I try to think twice
Before I frown
I contemplate the value 
Of the men that I allow
To lay me down 
Now,
I am grown and I am proud
Because I am humble
And I'm not loud
Any longer,
I listen
To the subtle sounds of
Human respiration.
I am the incarnation
Of ancient incantations that
Shake down the walls which
Separate us all
All the way to the ground.
True power is found
Where unity resounds.

~
          I'm afraid to die
          But don't we all fear our dreams
          The limit's the sky.
          Can you hear my screams?

Night and death, the same
The silence echoes
Who will win this deadly game?
No one really knows

          What drove me to losing my mind,    
          this wasn't in my plans.
          Could I find it in your hands or did
          you drop it along the way?
          I've yet to find my heart so I sculpted
          one from clay.

This heart, has been carved out of stone,
Hollow inside, filled with tears
Terrified of love to my bones
I've forgotten all my other fears.

          It's Love that keeps me up at night.
          Or perhaps it's The absence of
          Your strong arms that held me so
          tight.
          I wore you out, now nothing fits right.

You were the other half to my heart,
Now it's in pieces and battered,
I think there's still some missing parts
You left me alone and completely shattered

          That leaves me as half of who I used
          to be.
          I thought hearts were inseparable.
          And of course that means half of you
          is missing as it is with me.
          And it's beating but it's miserable.

Locked away, never to be loved
Thoughts of you keep me up at night
That you could of done this, astounds me,
Now, no other love will ever feel right

          And I wonder if anything will be so
          tight
          That it could cut off my circulation
          I'm tired of life's fight
          I've already lost my imagination..

My mind has gone blank,
From all this destructive hate
It was a love lost, forever gone
I'd like to just say it was fate