Beebz The Queen

Beebz The Queen Dec 2014

They ask if we're together
As I try to act like I don't care
You brush my hand away
But I guess to you it's fair.

I try not to feel hurt
When you make jokes that intentionally sting
I try not to cringe in pain
When there is a mention of a ring

Because I know for you it doesn't hurt
When others question us
But all I ask is that you defend me
Cause you still ask for my trust.

You are so easy to love
But I doubt that I am too
So I understand your hesitation
I would be careful if I were you.

What do I do
When I feel like I'm losing
I feel like you're growing tired
So done with silly choosing

I hope you know
I'm not forcing you to stay
But I do love you...
In every single way

I love you!

#love #pain #sadness #hurt #question

Beebz The Queen Dec 2014

~ no one ~

Deep inside me
There is this anger
This hatred
This.. bitterness.

And I feel it towards everyone.
Not just those who hurt me
The ones who betrayed me.

No this bitterness...
Is for all.
Trust no one
Love no one
Believe in nothing

But then...
I saw a change

A change in myself...

I was dying inside
Because deep down
This hatred was of

The person I am.

No one can help me.

No one can save me now

Because I hate who I've become

And I fear I always will

Dec 2014

love me

writer's block

i havent written in weeks
normally that means i am too dismembered to even think
but this time it's different
this time is because i have nothing left to write
because i am happy
things are looking up
writing for me at least
is for the lows
the loyal friend that helps through the pain
so my friend
you'll hear from me when things get bad
so my friend
you'll hear from me soon

xoxo

#love #depression #pain #hurt #help #me #bipolar

Beebz The Queen Dec 2014

questions without an answer

When am I ever going to feel
like I'm enough.
How will I ever be good
For a guy like you.
Where will I go after
You see me for who I am.
What will you do when I
Cry in your arms tonight.

Beebz The Queen Dec 2014

today *****.

Why is it that I'm crying for you
When you told me to burn in hell?
Why must I stay calm and collected
When in my face you continue to yell?
Why is it that I'm to blame for this
When you are the one who invaded my home?
Why am I the one who is conceited
When you seem to think you're on a throne?

*It's one thing to hurt me you lying rotten *****.
But to hurt my father, my sister, my brothers.
You better watch your back....
Because I'm done being passive.

Dec 2014

Cookieman

Mistakes

I try too hard, but I don't want to seem malicious.
I try too closely, but then I seem too meticulous.
But me giving up doesn't help this ******.
I'm trying to patch my mistakes up, I'm trying to patch up these cracks.
But ever as I try, I seem to fall too short.
Every word I let out, there seems to be a retort.
So what should I do? Where should I go?
Those are questions, whose answers I beg desperately to know.
As I must fix my wrongs, and make them right.
I'm trying to step out of the darkness, and step into the light.
For a life of mistakes is not what I want to live in.
So I'm going to repent away from my sin and hope that one day I'll be forgiven.