you are just an echo of what i once dreamed
and i am merely a girl trying to stand on her own two legs.

we are the uprooted flowers
the ones
left nameless

torn out by toddlers hands
to churn the dirt
and make mud pies..

and after the fun is done and the sun has set
we are
strewn across
the walkway
as if we never mattered to each other...

you were a moth with singed wings
flicking too and fro above a dying fire
and red cigarette embers shined through the night brighter then stars
as you flew into the one thing that could **** you
the one thing you found so imposible to leave.

your wings were tattered blankets
that you wanted me to take shelter in
but i would rather be colder then smolder in a broken hearted love..
a love dependent on our hearts being just as black as our lungs

my legs were wild animals
hunting for scraps


and you spent every night
feeding me lies

just to coax me into your bed.

each time you talk to me it's like swallowing swords.
nails on a chalkboard.
how can i tell you anything
if you don't bother to listen.
each time you breathe
i hear a symphony of pots and pans
electric currents buzzing and droning on through the night.
im hung up in you
like all the late night phone calls we never had
ill love you
like the way you treated me
******
and
ill remember you
as the boy who never kept his promises.
**always.

i am not the wanderer
who walks along these empty roads
hands in pockets
looking for something they lost long ago
i will not look at every sunset and think of you (even though I want too)
i will pack my things
my suitcase full of broken bones and molten skin
and if its the last thing i do i will breathe in the colors of a love long lost
in hopes of maybe some day feeling alive again.

i love you a little if i love you means that I want to punch you in the face a lot

All I really need is to go back to the times when I could smile without tears in my eyes
And all I have ever really wanted, was to be treated as something  more then
Just

*expendable.

What's the point of living, when you're just living for everyone else?

I've packed the bags from under my eyes, up with best regards to you
and goodbyes.

I just want to know why
I was writing goodbye notes before I ever sent them
And if you ever saw the broken I love you's written on my smile.

if you look closely
under the moonlight tonight,
you will see that my vertebrae
mimics
the shape of birds taking flight..
darling boy,
see,
ive been a little bent out of shape since you left  
im walking around with a part of me missing and
i don't think you understand that i see you in everything i do..

but ill be fine
in the morning ill stretch my wings (arms) up to the sky
and
*maybe tomorrow
you'll think of me.

She fell in love with his sun beam smile,
and the way he glistened when he talked about cars and country music.
and he fell in love with her hurricane eyes.

destructive, yes.
but
simply

**unstoppable.

I believe in love
I believe in equality, were all different all beautiful
I believe in getting lost, because if you're not lost then how can you be found?
I believe that happiness will find you and its not something you can chase
I believe that laws should not be changed or bent as ruthless as they may seem
because they were put there for a reason
I believe in justice, not revenge.
I believe in karma, and fate.
I believe in euphoria
I believe in being able to laugh until you cry
I believe that sadness is beautiful as long as it does not over take you.
I believe that emotion is not weak but it can be over shown
I believe in you
in me
in every last atom
that makes everyone and everything up.
I believe.

Oh, the way the world whispers when you shut off the lights and open your heart.
it speaks to you in the wind
the goose bumps on your arms and legs
the smoke that tickles your eyelashes
it sings to you in the way your hands tremble
the way your legs shake and your knees buckle;
and when your heart is free and your eyes are open
I guess the weight of the world isn't so heavy after all.

There was never enough empathy between your breaths
you exhaled as if you had a bed of rusty nails kissing your chest
fogging up the car windows
with some type of pain
some type of strength you couldn't muster
words where thrown like sticks and stones
and kissing you felt like a war
swords and screams formed on the tip of your tongue but you could never spit them out

i'm so tired of being tired.
i carry these rickety bones
around like extra baggage
long and far
left moving in motion like an old carousel that should have stopped working long ago
i'm there for the laughs and the smiles
always there but forever absent
on a mental vacation you could say
i am something you will grow fond of and eventually leave
and that's okay
see,
i'm not the type of girl your mother warns you about
i won't break your heart like a bottle of whiskey after having a little too much
i will stand by your side until the day my bones snap from carrying the weight of the  world
and my name turns into a r.i.p scribbled on a gravestone.

I shed sour skin like leaves
Left to rot like crumpled music notes
churning like four day old milk in my veins
and you will be my branches
Dropped.
Fallen.
And
finally
Forgotten.

My names twenty two
and these are the things I never said.

The telephone wires above my roof always remind me of the nights where we'd lay on our backs on the roof of your old Ford and just look out at stars
nothing but love between us.
The storms outside remind me of our fights
beautiful, and desructive.
And the pillow I lay my head on reminds me of your chest
soft, quiet, and a holder of secrets and makeup smudges.
That pin you gave me when i first told you that I was suicidal I still wear sometimes to remind myself that you loved me once.
That you loved me once like
stars in the sky
eternal and never ending.
that you pledged your life to me at a mere seventeen years..
I still love you you're still my star
and
I could tell you twenty two reasons why you're beautiful
as I puff out smoke signals to try to make you come back to me and just hear me out
if you tell me twenty two reasons why you left me
In the noon of the day
as if
the stars were too much for you?
Did i shine too bright or not enough?
Where we ever forever or did i believe too strongly in us.
Regardless
my name,
is twenty two
and
You made me the happiest girl in the world.
full of spring flowers
and April showers

Because on the twenty second you told me you loved me.