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Aug 2018 · 74
materials (xii)
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
as you do not struggle to recall the titles of those empty sermons we composed while biking uphill after our sister’s head, I tell you that a baby eats like jesus in a haunted house and that dad was right the lawnmower dies because it knows where in the yard his mom was deep enough to bury doll and I deny that hibernation is real

(is more a ghost started by two wise men dressed as animals
Aug 2018 · 122
materials (xi)
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
it gave me nightmares, from mating call to church bell, that air conditioner in our third floor window. thematically, the poor are closer to death. my people don’t move. god is where you left him. god where I put.
Aug 2018 · 73
{ some }
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
some entries from poem sequence [returning]:

~~~~

my angel is a scarecrow in a sleeping bag. heaven a movie theater in spain. she walks that way because she is trying to step on her blood. the boy at the gate is lost and must choose either frankenstein’s childhood or a more diverse nostalgia. orphans on earth smell like bread.

~~~~

there are pictures of me sleeping that are responsible for my brother cheating on his diet.  apples the shape of going home.  *** addicts fighting to direct a musical about the number of people disappearing

to let death
mourn.  there is a chair in an open field.  a throbbing in the palm of sound’s publisher.  a kid under a blanket asking god

when did she know
what perfection
was.  a mouth that was a bomb

/ before I had teeth

~~~~

with sound
the second language
of absence, with

mother, bible, bee

(I am trying to memorize missing you

~~~~

church
of the removed
stitch. what I would bite

to have your mouth.

~~~~

in the history of newborns
not one is named

shelter, and we’ve called

only two
attraction…

my dream priest
dies
in the desert
after making
with death
a movie, no...

the blood’s
search
for brain

~~~~

they took
the body

lamb
stayed with star

~~~~

you can train
a bird
but not
a fish
to care

for a thumb...

fire is the skin of god

~~~~

a father
at peace
with how many times
his hair
has died
is standing
in a museum
before the shell
of a giant
turtle

his infant’s mouth
has gone home
to lose
its shape

he is alone
like any
grocery cart

some
cribs

~~~~
Aug 2018 · 74
materials (x)
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
you have to count them quickly

the bite-marks on my son’s arm

-

either you touch a goldfish
or become
a dentist

-

does it matter whose dream
my mouth is

-

make art and make it empty. god has run out of room.
Aug 2018 · 109
materials (ix)
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
Q: what is a ghost?

A: you have a mom and god finds out
Aug 2018 · 116
précis
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
poverty has its own alphabet. we speak only to expand our understanding of what came second, be it silence or the ventriloquy of god.  no one here has lost a baby but there are enough of us to go around.  I’ve nowhere to tell you about place.
Aug 2018 · 102
brevities
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
if told by your hands to set myself on fire, I would pray my father into a snake and death would cry in a whale for every bee that lost its voice.
Aug 2018 · 98
the home life of victims
Barton D Smock Aug 2018


some ****** eared stranger at the door is listening as if to a radio where being announced by name are the blow-up dolls gone missing from the home life of victims.



in the two accepted versions of the story you have a son your husband beats. in the third and final version your three equally tall sons lift you privately from a parade honoring your **** scene. this is theirs.



similar persons of colder weather gather elsewhere and disrobe.

all await
the dog of evening.

its blindfolded boy.



he spends a few good hours trying to pin the small shadows of overhead birds beneath his feet. his wakefulness is a gift handed down by a sister he had to stop making up.



I squeeze my infant son until he is young enough to remember impressionism’s grocery.



I skin my knee a total of three times. I begin seeing Jesus but only when I’m awake. he demands nothing. he is thankful for my knee and for my indifference. he speaks so fondly of my braces I leave them on my teeth a year too long. my father has me put my head back mornings before church so he can run the hair dryer on low over the open ache my mouth has become. I talk on purpose when he does this and he laughs and forgets about my mother who smokes on the roof in her Sunday beast.


Aug 2018 · 102
{recent, Aug 2018}
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
/

[a gun goes off in a dream I don’t have anymore]

the root of the animal’s insomnia is not man but the fear of personification.

-

when my uncle was a baby, he tried to put something in his mouth but couldn’t do it.

-

grief is the herd my sadness trails.

-

my mother returns every year to the same spot as if it’s a microwave.  

-

before he goes back to providing the radio play-by-play for an obscure sporting event, father lifts up his shirt to show me the wire jesus wore.  

-

while smoking a cigar in the shadow of a nervous minotaur, my father wrote the book on moral isolation. in it, he predicted there would be a television show about hoarders and that it would turn god into a sign from god. my mother read the book cover to cover during her fourth and fastest delivery. if there were edits, she kept them to herself and put his name beside hers on seasonally produced slim volumes of absolute shyness.

-

death takes its place at the head of the table to tell the only story it knows to plates of untouched food.

-

trespassing, I approach two dimming flashlights set upright in cemetery mud that in your recollection are the horns of an empty beast.

-

as spotless as the dog left it, the baby’s room has come to mean today. above a different dog, people ask us what we’re having. we do our jigsaw of darkness. clone the ape that created god’s boredom.

-

I find the boy’s name on a list in another boy’s diary. a gun goes off in a dream I don’t have anymore.

/

[rabbit horns]

a plastic doll with a human right hand distracts us from the parrot’s empty cage. we have been writing in unison instead of eating. our poverty is so advanced it keeps a fake diary and a real diary but hides them in the same spot.  

-

I saw my youngest brother born.  I saw his mouth.  I thought he’d ripped.

-

the dark, the ocean. I have two reasons to believe god has not stopped creating. my anger has gone the way of the milkman.  his doomed child with her piece of chalk.

-

it is childish how much time she thinks I have to touch everything in the store.  I am slapped so hard I am sure the mirror’s memory is for show.

-

my father holds a cigarette above his head in a hotel shower. at home, my mother puts a clean shirt on the bed and jumps from her death.

-

I am secretly happy that you’ve taken an egg for each day of your life to a doll so doll can sleep.  as your mother, I often follow a black ball of yarn into the lake of how you remember.

-

a male mime bites into a bar of soap…

-

her father is just as she imagines-

a man not making siren sounds pulled over by the man who is.

-

you will know the hoof of satan’s chosen deer by the way it glows when any female announces from the seat of a stilled tractor that she is pregnant.  you will be the age of your mother’s baby bump, older than your father’s knife, and lit by the grape in god’s mouth.

-

I am in the saddest grocery waiting with my mother for the happiest bike repair to open.

-

dodgeball, no one sad.

/

[gestural transportation]

in the idea, god creates only those creatures already identified by the man he can’t shake.  

-

I am quiet but nobody listens.

I am loneliest when it’s not allowed.

-

after a child drowns in a child, the church bathroom is scrubbed in full view of the elderly.

-

while thunder remains god’s most solemn prank, the moon is the bottom of a prop tree.  there are egg shells on the floor of heaven.

-

the bread crumbs were eaten not by birds but by a starving boy with a lost voice who’d wandered from his home in a delirium brought on by a toothache.  also, Hansel & Gretel were two rich kids who killed someone’s mother.

-

god goes from wall to wall unaware he is god disguised as a graffiti artist.  

renderings of my son on a ventilator adorn the moving city.  

-

in flight, a wasp carries something it’s not.  forgiveness works alone.

-

I have never seen an attractive god.

/

[the upper body of the minotaur lost everything]

mother prays for odd things.  like passwords.  and that there be one day a mirror she can warn.  

-

my father was born with six fingers on his right hand and seven on his left. he was not fond of either hand until later in life when the grandchildren asked him at different times during their visits if he had been tortured.

-

my brother says it’s part of his condition that he can only explain himself from the waist down.  before I can play doctor, he remembers he has a story he wants me to write.  in the opening scene a young man is blowing dust from a human skull made of plastic because it’s all the narrator can afford.

-

your sister is the only person on record to have been born without a gift. I was told this in confidence by an angel masquerading as a small animal the size of which escapes me.

-

excuse my friend his earlier joy in saying who do I have to **** to get ****** around here. at age 19 a man exploded beside my friend and my friend went quiet and later to his grave thinking his own bomb malfunctioned.

-

I know it’s early but I need you to make sure there are no bugs on your father before he goes to work.    

/

[materials (ii)]

nostalgia no longer has a church

if these are your children, I’ve lost years keeping them away from bugs

like her, I’ve never seen her starvations touch

it’s like waiting for god to donate hair

/

[materials (iii)]

I hate baseball but enjoy covering my left hand.

headache
oh pearl
of birth

/

[materials (iv)]

a painting of your whereabouts. the popcorn stoning of your first wheelchair. soft edits. pentagram. spider.

the look of a thing that wants no hands.

/

[materials (v)]

eating for the child lost by ghost, you are the second of three people who know god’s middle name. oh how I’ve written to avoid reading. to impress death.

a babysitter’s tattoo. the bird-sleep of ache.

/

[materials (vi)]

she is cooking with the father of an ex-lover a meal for someone who’s just had surgery. god is there but might as well be listening for thunder. she hopes the dream is not a big deal.

/

[materials (vii)]

god twisted her ankle on a toy phone while thinking of the child you love least. mother was passing for an underwater attraction based on the inherited imagery of oblivious angels. photo credit had been done to death.

/

[materials (viii)]

an aversion to sleeping on my stomach.  needing to be alone after eating in front of people.  my father asking in the library for books on Nagasaki.  field trips to indian mounds where bullies would worship my retainer and put mud in my mouth.  my permissive mother and her essays on the grief of a social god.  not understanding how in some films there were women speaking on what was heard in the distance and how in others just men sitting around to surprise satan.  my brother threatening to run away and me showing him how my ghost would look breaking his toys.  sticks from a dogless future.    

/

[childlike boredom]

never be more creative than your abuser.

I’ll bring christ, you

canary

/

[brevities]

the voice of god is the light by which a cricket kills its ghost. grief the chosen dress of our no-show photographer.

/
Jul 2018 · 106
materials (i)
Barton D Smock Jul 2018
mothers
while jumping
rope
reminisce
on those
crucifixions
not postponed
by thunder
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