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Barker Dec 2017
You stole my voice when I wanted to speak and now I am voiceless.
(c)ibarker
Barker May 2018
Remind me of your voice again so I can flush out the demons
(c)ibarker
Barker Sep 2017
Sometimes you just
Need to stop
Listening to the voices
(c)ibarker
Barker Apr 2018
Is it really worth it?
Does loving you out weigh the cons?
You mean everything to me.
But I have these voices in my head
Telling me it's wrong.
These voices make me second guess everything.
I don't know.
What if I'm doing something wrong?
What if you don't really love me?
What if I'm just fooling myself?
...
What if you're just playing with me?
I've had my heart played with before.
What if this is all just set up for heartbreak?
I can't withstand another break up.
What if?
...
These voices keep me up at night.
I can barely sleep.
Sometimes I don't sleep at all.
I just lay awake thinking of all the possibilities.
I can hear the voices telling me that you don't like me.
I can hear them saying things that I know aren't true.
But they make me doubt everything.
I don't know what the truth is anymore.
And that scares me.
(c)ibarker
Barker May 2018
My hands grasp at air,
While my lungs suffocate on the sound of your silence
(C)ibarker
Barker Apr 2018
If this is what you want
Then why didn't you say?

You didn't say goodbye
Now you've gone away.

I'll always be with you
Barker Aug 2018
Take me by the hand, but don't get too close now, because I'm a little bit scared in life.

I need to run just far enough
So I can smile again.
(c)ibarker
Barker May 2018
I'm amazed when I look at you
Not just because of your looks,
But because of the fact that everything I've ever wanted
Is right here in front of me
(c)ibarker
Barker Oct 2017
The saddest moment in my life
Is finding out I'm still alive
(c)ibarker
Barker Jul 2018
I want someone who’s hugs bring me back home
And the feeling of being overcome by happy memories fills my mind
(C)ibarker
Barker Mar 17
Your tears speak louder than words, but silence is a thief, slipping into the cracks, threatening to carry you away unseen.

They don't want you to heal silently, alone in the emptiness of your own thoughts,
They want you to heal loudly, let your hurt show, let yourself be vulnerable,
Because they will be there to help pick up the shattered pieces of your heart.

They want you here, not swallowed by the guilt, the regret,
The weight of what could have been, or what wasn't said.
For they see your worth, and nothing you could have done would have changed her mind.

So, scream if you must, let the sound echo through the hollow spaces,
Let your pain take shape and find its voice,
For in its loudness, you will not be alone.

They are here to catch you when the silence tries to pull you under,
To remind you that your healing matters,
That you are more than your grief,
And the noise of your hurt is the anthem of your survival.

In breaking the silence, you reclaim yourself,
Piece by piece, sound by sound,
Until the echoes of your voice
Become the music of your healing.
(c)rbarker
Barker Jun 2020
Love isn’t worth the pain anymore.
I’m a hopeless romantic and maybe that’s all I’ll ever be.
(C)ibarker
Barker Aug 2019
Four words hold such destruction and chaos in them.
(c)ibarker
Barker Oct 2017
I don't know if I want you
or
If I think that I want you
(c)ibarker
Barker Jun 2017
When you were in need,
And worried,
I was there,

When you were lost,
And you were thrown into the frost,
I was there,

When you needed me the most,
I was there,
But you were not,
(c)Ibarker
Barker Jun 2017
When I thought I was alone,
And I was not known,
You were here,

When I was in war with my mind,
And I was fighting blind,
You were here,

When I needed you the most though,
For some reason,
You did not show,

I wonder some days,
If I had pushed you away,
Or if I had scared you not to stay,

It is unclear,
And I fear,
Why you were not here,
(c)Ibarker
Barker Sep 2017
People often tell me I'm a lot like my father.
I don't like my father,
But I don't hate him.
I often get so carried away trying to not become my father
That I forgot who I really was.
(c)ibarker
Barker Jul 2018
Why do I always hate myself more after someone compliments me
Or says something nice to me?
It’s like my mind just shuts off and goes into reverse.
And ****
Why can’t i just be happy?

It’s because I believe that I don’t deserve anything but pain and suffering.
(C)ibarker
Barker Jan 2018
Who knew love could be so wickedly beautiful.
(c)ibarker
Barker Mar 7
A hopeless romantic,
Who's had his heart broken,
One too many times,
Writes about  love,
He'll never find,

Then along comes a stranger,
Who'd turn his life upside down,
Shows him a side of love.
That cannot be easily found,

With a glance that speaks volumes,
And a touch that ignites,
She brings colours to his shadows,
Turns his days into nights,

Though wary he opens,
His heart beats anew,
For a chance that she might see him,
As love's chosen,
Two.

But love like a flame,
Can burn as it glows,
Her words turning into embers,

She held his heart gently,
Then let it slip through,
She drifts like the tide,
Slipping out of view,

Like footprints in the sand,
Leaving him stranded in the sorrow's undertow,

Yet in his madness,
He yearns and waits,
He clings to the love they once showed,

If she calls he'll be ready,
Though battered and broken,
His soul is true,
He waits in the shadows,
Should she ever renew,

So for now he waits,
Though the hours grow long,
His heart singing fragments,
Of a bittersweet song,

In the stillness he wonders if she'll ever return,
While the embers of hope,
Slowly burn.
Mon soleil. I will be here, always.

(c)barker
Barker Jan 2018
I used to wish upon love.
Now I wish upon the strength and the will to withstand it.
(c)ibarker
Barker May 2018
You are a magnificent piece of madness,
You are the sanity to my insanity,
You are the fire that burns so brightly within me
(C)ibarker
Barker Aug 2019
I want to know how you would comfort me if I was with you right now.
(c)ibarker
Barker Aug 2019
If I could only find a way to say sorry to you in a way you'd understand, I would.
(c)ibarker
Barker May 27
I can write about love,
About all the sweet things that can happen,
A hallmark movie,
A romance novel,
A poet who has just fallen for the love of his life.

But that's not what love did for me,
Love left me broken,
Love left me without looking back,
Love showed me that although I gave my everything,
It still wasn't enough,

But love also showed me how love can be found in the most quiet and hidden places,
That it doesn't have to be a relationship to show you what love is,

Love is in friends who give you a gift basket after a bad break up to help cheer you up,
Love is in friends who make sure that you've eaten and that you're doing okay,
Love is in friends who make you laugh so hard that your abs start to hurt and your eyes are watery with joy,

Love is an all things,
And while some love may not be available to us,
That doesn't mean that we are unlovable,
It just means that sometimes the love you seek,
Is found in places that you never knew were there.
(c)barker
Barker May 27
We always say forever,
Without thinking about what it entails.
That forever in the other person's mind might actually mean forever,
Not something that was said because the moment felt right,
Or because that's what people say when they are in love.

But then comes the falling out...
Forever means forever, right?

Was it forever when she fell in love with someone whom she said was just "a friend"

She flirted and one thing led to another,
It was fast,
It was loud,
It was public,
It hurt.

Yet he stayed loyal,
Wanted to trust in the words she said,
Thought that maybe it was all in his head,
But she became more careless,
Started to act differently,
He noticed every small detail,
His mind running in overdrive,

The breakup could have been clean,
It could have been gentle,
But it wasn't,
She made him feel like it was all his fault,
If he had done this more,
Or if he wasn't the way he was,

He pleaded, asking if she would give him a chance,
To prove to her that he could be the person she was asking for,
But it was too late,
All she did was look at him and say
"I don't want to."
And it broke him.

He would see them every week,
Her new boyfriend would make it known that he didn't matter.

He was just a game,
And she wanted to win,
Even if it meant tearing him to pieces.
(c)barker
Barker Jul 2020
Life just slips away.
Maybe you didn’t mean it to,
Maybe you just got lost in the ocean of your own thoughts,
Maybe the voices of others bothered you, so you dunked your head under water to drown out the noise,
Maybe it’s all of those moments you wasted on work
Maybe it’s all the times you’ve changed yourself to please someone.
Maybe, you were too busy dreaming of the future, that you forgot to live in the present.
(C)ibarker
Barker Nov 2020
I haven’t written in so long,
My hands have forgotten the way the words move.

The last thing I wrote about was a girl who I thought would be mine.

It is no secret that I’m blinded by love.
Every sane thought tends to disappear without a trace.

I try to lie myself by stating that it’s okay that I’ll never find someone like you.

But the truth is, I keep looking for someone like you.

Someone who understands me like you do,
Someone who knows me.

But there will never be another you.
Because you’re the only person who can fill this hole in my chest.

You’re the only one who can stitch all my wounds closed.
The only one that can pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and help me piece it back together.

You’re the only one who isn’t scared of seeing my dark side.
The only one who doesn’t turn away when things get tough.

Darling, the truth is, you’re the one that I want.
(C)ibarker
Barker May 2018
To the world you may be someone,
But to someone you may be the world,
And you my darling are my world
(c)ibarker
Barker Apr 2018
I sometimes wonder whether it's all worth it.
If going through all this pain will end up paying off.
If all those nights spent worrying about things,
Will even matter in the end.
I don't know.
(c)ibarker
Barker Oct 2017
I find it sad that writers find their creativity through their pain and suffering. Yet I'm thankful because they saved my life
(c)ibarker
Barker Jun 2018
When I'm around you
I start living
(c)ibarker
Barker Jul 2018
I don't think you know the extent of how much harm my ex has caused me
And how much she haunts me.
She caused me so much mental and emotional pain
And I have so much PTSD from that relationship.
I don't think you know how scarred I am from that relationship.
Even the slightest thing can cause memories to flash through my mind.
Simple things such as watching Tv, eating food in front of people causes me so much anxiety.
I don't think you understand.

No, wait, I know you don't understand.
(c)ibarker
Barker Jan 2021
You never knew because you never had the time,
And when you let me talk,
You would never listen,
Perhaps it was my fault that I didn't speak louder,
But you should've been there for me
(c)ibarker
Barker Nov 2017
If I have devilish grin just know
That I'm thinking of you
(c)ibarker
Barker Nov 2017
I've been so close to dying
So close on the verge of death
I go down my list of reasons I live for
And it's always you
That ends up stopping me
(c)ibarker
Barker Apr 2018
It breaks my heart to see you broken

I want to **** everyone who has done you wrong

You deserve more than this

All good people go through hard times

It's not fair that you are the one to get hurt

You mean so much to me

I don't understand why people hurt you

You are so precious

Like a diamond
(c)ibarker
Barker May 2018
When I look at you
I see your beauty and grace
And I know I have spent
Every life before this one
Searching for you,
Not someone like you,
But you
(c)ibarker
Barker May 2018
You let me free,
Yet you keep me chained.
I don't know what I did to deserve this.

You let me fly,
But kept me on a leash.
So there was no where I could go.

Why do you tease me with
Bits of freedom,
Only to take it away from me?
(c)ibarker
Barker Sep 2017
It's funny how life works.
When I was younger
I used to not care.
Now I'm older
And I care too much.
I can't decide which one is worse,
Caring too much
Or not caring at all
(c)ibarker
Barker May 2018
While I'm off chasing my own dreams.
Sailing around the world,
Please know that
I'm yours
To keep
(c)ibarker
Barker Apr 2018
Like a diamond
You are strong
You can conquer anything

Yet you are precious
You glimmer in the light
You make everyone around you sparkle

But you weren't always a diamond
You had to be put through your limits
You had to be tortured

You were forced every day to be put through immense pressure
You had to break and mend over and over again
Until one day you woke up

And you became
Something
More
(c)ibarker
Barker May 2018
I will wait for you because honestly
I don't want anyone else
(c)ibarker
Barker May 2018
I don’t know what to do

Maybe you were right

We shouldn’t have
(C)ibarker
Barker May 2018
You started as a thought,
Then you became a dream,
Then a moment,
Then forever,
Until you became nothing more than a memory
(c)ibarker
Barker Jun 2018
I love you more than life and more than death
(c)ibarker
Barker Jun 2018
Dear  Love,

When I first met you I had no intentions of loving you. I did not believe that someone like you could love someone like me; and so I hid my emotions. I saw you with my eyes but not my heart. Yet you were still kind to me and you made me laugh. Our friendship grew and as I started to let my emotions go. I saw our friendship evolve into something great. You always stand by me and give me advice even though it may not be what I want to hear. You help me through dark times and I will always do the same. I love you unconditionally. We are inseparable, nothing can tear us apart. Although we may have our differences, we are connected. We are tied together by an invisible force. We may not get along sometimes and we may fight but I want you to know that I will always love you no matter what. You are the fire within me. You are my heart and soul. You are the very essence of my happiness. I love you more than the universe, multiverse and everything in it. May our love strive.

Love Me
(c)ibarker
Barker Jun 2018
I'll say I hate you
You'll say you hate me more
I'll say I hate you the most

Then we'll laugh knowing it's not true

You'll say you love me
I'll say I love you more
You'll say you love me the most

Then we'll argue about who loves the other more
Then we'll laugh again because it's all the same

We both know darling - dearest - darling
That we are more together than apart.

I'm too emotional
And you emotionless
And together we are human
(c)ibarker Cresfall
Barker Jun 2018
"You're perfect." I whisper
"No I'm not." You reply
"Oh, but you are."
You sigh
"You're perfect." I whisper again
"I'm not! look at me, I'm a hot mess! I'm ugly and I hate myself." You reply
"But that's what makes you perfect. Your imperfections are what makes you perfect."
(c)ibarker
Barker Jun 2018
I may not whisper sweet nothings into your ear,
But I will love you whether you fail, succeed, or just fall.
I will love you just as you are
Because I'm in love with you
And only you
(c)ibarker
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