On a plane reading the message you sent me,
My heart feels so warm like I'm drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate on a cold snowy night,
I feel at peace,
Such a rarity for me,
How can one person make me feel like this?

I have felt a resemblance of home with others,
But it always felt like I was missing something,
For some reason it seems like you hold it

I've been feeling empty and misunderstood for so long,
And then you come along and suddenly everything is changing,
I find myself thinking about you constantly,
Ways that I can make you smile,
Ways that I can share your burden so that life will feel less heavy,
I want to be there for you,
If you need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to.

I've been in many relationships, and there's only one which hasn't left any scars.
Sometimes things can trigger certain memories or feelings.
If that happens, do not worry, it is not you.
I'm still trying to work through some issues.
It may take time for me to be comfortable around you.
Many of my relationships have caused me to mask my true self and become someone else.
I want you to know that the more get to know me, the more you may not like what you see.
I'm still recovering from my past and so bad habits are still present.
I'm still changing and still learning.
If I ever do something that you don't like, please tell me.
Don't hide things from me, especially if it's something that I do that makes you uncomfortable.

My darling,

I apologize if I am not the same hopeless romantic poet I once was.
I am sorry to say that I have wasted my words on poems that were written for temporary romances.
I am sorry that I can no longer write poems that sweep you off your feet.

If I would have known that this was the last letter to you
I would have written it differently.
I would ask you why.
What did I do that made you suddenly not want me anymore?
Why did we have to make things so tough between us.
If I had changed would you have stayed?
If I were able to mould into the version of me that you had in your head, would it have made things better?

Life moves on what can I say?
I've spent these last few months wishing that time would stop.
Hoping that it will let me readjust my grip,
Praying that it doesn't take me away.