We're alone.
Really and truly.
Hey Lindsay, does this stuff make you woozy?
Don't trust anyone,
Trust me.
Look out for number one.

Pretending helps.
But you gotta be good at it.
I can fake with the best of anyone.
Hey Lindsay the ceiling is crying, look at it.

Remember,
No one can break your heart
If you bury it in the backyard.
And if they start digging,
Drop out.
Hey Lindsay, I think I might blackout.

You might get cold.
Sometimes I think I froze.
I can't feel anything these days.
Hey Lindsay, so it goes.

but I'm not all here
my words are like dry wheat,
snapping
in the middle of a sentence, there are
parts of me that are lost and cannot
speak for themselves so the things I
say often break

**** yourself he said.
You are a burden. You are a failure.

Why am I a burden? Why do I fail?
I am the smartest man in the room.
Why do I assault my own inteligence?

YOU WANTED THIS. EVEN NOW THE MONSTER INSIDE YOU CLAWS,
He screamed.
And then he whispered,
Even now your heart beats and beats,
Feeling fear as if you were a normal human,
And twisting this fear into more disgust

Answer me! I said
Why do I do this?

You are so smart, you tell me
Tell me all the explanatons you can think.
How they all fit so perfectly.
It makes it worse doesn't it?
Just more excuses. But what differs between an excuse and a valid reason? He said softly.

I opened the door with the skeleton inside.
The monster clawed and clawed, and so,
I opened the door with my demons inside.
And I simply asked why.

The Empty Chapter
By Zak Whittington

The grey face
The empty chapter
The blank page
The dusty pen beside
-----

Between heartbeats lurks a sad silence
Whose footfalls fall on deaf ears
A beast of pain and shallow fears
He slinks, silent
Soft as the grave to which he will drag you
Cover your eyes
Avert your mind
Cross yourself
Count to three
The monster is here
Between shaking fingers peek and see
A glimpse of profound irony
The Mirror
A horrifying glimpse of Your Self
Alone on a barren world

Desolation

Between lives lies silence
Empty quotes hang stupidly over empty heads
Drying to dust
Turn up the music

Frustration

Shake the shoulder
Strike the hand
Bite the Shepherd
**** the Man
Burn the Book
Ride the Snake
Find the phony
Shoot the fake
Grab the apple
Waste the day
Take the staff
and lead the way

Isolation

With your arms around me
My shoulders have grown cold
Despite the hands on them
The Mirror shows
The Mirror knows
There are no hands

There are no hands in this wasteland
Just me and the rocks
With my heart beneath them

Elation

The Monster awoke before dawn
He put his boots on
He took a mask from his bed-stand
And he tried it on

Hang on quick gimme that mirror my lipstick slipped.
My smile wasn't quite on right.

Watch me dance
Watch me writhe and crawl
Watch me smile through it all
Watch this cheerful, painted grin
As I try to hold it all in
Waiting for the worms to win
I'll never have to lie again
Beneath thin skin,
Flesh rots.

I do a good impression of myself.

Starvation

Fat cat
Big man, pig
Mean one, green one
What do you hope to find?
Love, ***, drugs, joy
Home, cars, health, wealth, life
Cling, clang, fake pain with a tin in hand
Lovey-dove flowers and a Hallmark card
Satisfaction
Exhilaration
Jubilation
The second tree from the corner?
Squinting, with hands awash
Of pennies, nickels, dimes
Buy the way
Buy the light
The rich lead the blind
Kick the bucket
Sell the farm
Leave the world behind
(oh is that the time?)

The diamonds fall from stiff fat hands
Like petals from a rose
Or leaves from a clover
(three leaves? or four?)
Shuffle
Four queens
Three queens
Two queens shine
Two jacks
One jack
One-eyed
Blind
One heart, two heart
Three hearts, four?
As if I even knew anymore

Exaltation

Hot-shot soul man
What a sham you are
Far sight, foresight
Big hats, flashlight
The Family* has it all
Mad man, fake plan
Look down at your shoes
Torn suit
Worn boots
You've got no soles

*The Family:
Forgive me Father for I have sinned
I have watched Brother Jack ******* with the Man
And without a thought of why, I jumped right in
I saw Uncle Sam in bed with the pigs
I have forsaken my kindred
I have held fornication with the Computer and the iPod
I have sold my body for acceptance
I have ******* my neighbor
I have cheated on my wife
And now I love Big Brother too

I have driven the Big Truck
I have ridden the snake
To the edge of the lake
In the heart of the jungle.

When life gives you apples
Make lemonade

Annihilation

Roll out the tanks, boys,
Grab the big guns
We gonna have ourselves
A bit of fun
Spot the *****, sight the Jew
Squeeze off a shot and watch him run

Men run, blood runs
Red dirt drinks it all
In this wasteland
The dogs of war howl misery
Black blood, white blood
The crows aren't biased

Twinkle, twinkle crescent star
How I wonder what you are
White man died red
Saddamite, *******
Surprise the pawn
And now he's dead
Like the top-heavy King
With his massive head
And his high fortress
And his heavy crown
To ashes, to ashes
We all fall down.

But it's all fixed with a quick grin
A hand shake and a blank stare
Then you go back to your corner
And they remember they don't care

Reconciliation

(I do a good impression of myself)

Taketh thy hand up
Rip off thy mask
Do not stop at the skin
For it is shallow and flakey
and comes off quite nice
Don't mind the flesh now
Get to the bones
Dig past the maggots and flies
Until there's nothing left,
Then release your soul with bright knives

...

The world is quiet again
At the eleventh hour
When men are dust
We sit and wait
For the bells to toll

---
The fractured chapter
The soiled page
The broken pen
The jet-black sea
Sprays of darkness on ivory
Splashes of shallow imagery
And dried-up drops of creativity
and with so much left to write

Simplicity is killing me.

Words poured out like a salad
She wept and cried
yelling at the jumble
"You won't get me!
Just a big pile of salad words!"
Her dad stood in her doorway
while someone whispered
"It's not real, you aren't even her."
But she was on the phone with me
I heard every word
"I'm scared..."
fades out like the giggle she
keeps hearing and the
little girl that she has seen
"I was possessed once"
she told me, "maybe twice."
then we walked on the beach
everything seemed calm
two weeks later hearing
arms scratching the walls and
her dad standing in the doorway
is it real?
real?
rea
re
r

Love of my life,
I never wanted
To be
Your wife.
Or any man's for that matter.
All the stress and the
Strife
Hangs heavy
In the air.
You could
Cut it
With a knife, perhaps.
I stand
Naked
With sinful scars to bear.
Though you hastily forgave.
Leaving parts of me untamed
Ashamed.
Grabbing a man's
Attention
Never was a problem,
But the fact that it wasn't was.
Loving you blind because
I'm blind
Without your love
Leaving
Me
Longing for a white picket fence.

Part 1:
&words; spill out:
heart-hued as a sunset accident
steeped in courage
&staining; my night sleepless

∈ prayer
our hands raise up to caress this newnight,
&cas;; scattered shadows like
spooked birds in flight

Part 2:
&inkscribble; spreads
fully across the tablet
of my sullied, aging heart.
Pages soaked&dying;
purpledark

weightedbeauty
after you speak the sunset-things
to fruition across the fields:
Nebraska solitude&desire;

Part 3:
&rising; again
on a third day, I must depart
&brea;; our day in two
(you&i;)

The sun&i; shatter time,
as the dawnmirror
remembering dusk
cracks today into the night

&words; escape
from parted lips&uncapped; pen
to fly above the broken world
as sparrows rising like

Son&Wor;; resurrected
pouring salvation on the stony soil
of our souls
like sundrench in spring

&script; winds verdant
vines around us
watered by heavenwords of
forever ago

Part 4:
&ink; fills up my bookheart
as I return it to a cage
&leave; the you&i; behind me
in a vagabond-blue nighttime

This boat,
sailing on these synapses of rivers,
was leaking badly
and was starting to sink;
my old oars could not take me ashore.

But an immaculate current,
conducted by a divine crescendo,
pushed the waves to land.

I finally slept on the shore
and light shone through the fog.

The blind man dreams of music
The deaf man dreams of light
The countryman dreams of a soft summer breeze
The falcon dreams of flight.

And the man who lives on the dark side of the moon
Dreams of majestic, star-filled skies
But I, I who have seen the universe,
Dream only of your eyes.