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It gets better they promised
they lied
now i am standing here young-tied
not sure how to explain myself
the words the looks the thoughts
led past the point of no return
kicking and screaming i tried to release
from the bonds that constricted my soul
a convict escaping through a tunnel
i dug my way to hell and back

It gets better they said
as they stood and watched me fall into oblivion
day after day sinking deeper into the darkness
begging for the solace that never came

It gets better she said
as she took a knife and cut you from the picture
yet you clung to lost hope and broken dreams
the lies and the betrayal came to you like air
breathing in the false truths
basking in the tears
feigning innocence and guilt
For the wrong reasons

It gets better i chant
as I try to see the good you don't have
the good that has been gone my whole life
abandoning me and him
leaving us to bleed from the wounds the secrets caused

Does it get better
i wonder as i witness your actions
you who has ripped apart the carefully placed stitches
you who tore apart my heart and picked apart my brain
all because you laugh at the pain you cause

Tomorrow will be better
i plead on my knees
bearing my soul to the God that you taught me to believe in
the God who you claim to follow
yet your actions say otherwise

With time it gets better...
does it?
His hands
burn away at my momentary doubt

my skin becomes softer beneath his lips.

his lips taste like a postage stamp for an unwritten letter

with slowly drifting fingers, he writes to me:
he asks about my day with his palm on my rib cage and his sighs in my ear.
he kisses the center of my chest, and tells me a story about friends I've never met
he suckles my ****** when he talks about his alcoholic father.

and he writes goodbye with his hips between my thighs.

he provides no return address.
he simply signs his name.
You taught me to walk but gave me no where to go
You taught me to speak, but only words I don’t know
You told me to listen but gave me nothing to hear
You gave me a reality where nothing is real

You gave me a heart and told me to feel
As long as I don’t show it it’s mine to keep
You asked me a question and gave an answer to give
but they don’t match up and the paper is ripped

My pen is all empty, my heart is all broke
and now you have labeled me crazy, and spoke
with an evil tone that was far too kind
for the words that came out in too little time
and nothing was said
but boy did it hurt
that I am condemned and you are a ****
I try to get angry I try very hard
but all it ferments into is sadness and sorrow
and you say save the world
be kind be good
and I am trying like I know I should
and do you know that there are ten thousand kids
who sorta like me feel like they’re dying
and did you ask them what they want?
its not a car and husband to flaunt
you promised them the world
and they believed you
they all want to show you want they can do
but their hearts aren’t cheap and they aren’t for sale
you have to work for what they have to say
but you don’t think you need it,
its snake oil
so you give them options that they don’t really want
and they end up in ditches, in Chicago or Vermont,
any old place where the dying go to be dead
and they end up alone, in broken beds
and how can you blame them
they used to have places to go
now you turn them out into the snow
and the snow is all brown
with mud and with dirt
and you say life is hard
and yes life hurts
but how can you say that to bright eyed kids
who are trying to save the world that they’re living in
don’t you give out chances anymore
is there no trust? have we closed that door?
and why don’t you want me
what have I done?
was I wrong in my having a bit of fun?
or trying hard, or being too smart
do I ask to many questions,
I just can’t stop
is it my x-ray vision
is it cuz I see through you
because once I did it I couldn’t not see you
for all that you are
and all that you aren’t
and all you ever did was push me into the margins
Is that my fault? Is that my bad?
is this the only life I’ve ever had
because I’m calling for help
and nobody hears
and I know they are pretending because they all have ears
most of them two and some of them three
the third ones an their heart so its hard to see
And you give me directions, and people to watch
and they all changed the world and you want that to stop
this is it, we’re all comfortable now
but isn’t freedom a little bit more?
No? oh its not? my bad
So you bite me and kick me and then I get sad
so medicate me, and mentally **** me
turn me into an object
and when I object
You tell me I’m just the subject
of a biography of someone I don’t know
and I really hate to have to let the world go
But just for today
and maybe tomarrow
I will bury it all deep done in sorrow
you’ve ruined this world that could’ve been great
and now I believe it might be too late
there are too many people
who do not care
and they don’t want to wake up they would rather be scared
of going out at night
and of having a girl who doesn’t shave
they would all much rather be comfortable slaves
they take their drugs and they watch their tube
Things are okay, why should I move?
Some have it worse, so I have it better
If you want more you’re an ungrateful red letter
and you read to much
and you try to scare us
about things that aren’t really there, huh?
so when they tell you you think you’re too smart
theres only pain for the future in front
of you and of them
so prepare yourself
you are on your own,
they will never help
and you won’t back down.
I drank way too much last night,
now I feel like I'm paying my dues.

I woke up real early this morning,
my head was dry and  pounding,
I've had me a case of those Hangover blues.

What it was that I had to eat, I really
don't care to remember 'cause my breath
knocked everyone over and my wallet is bare.

And it's now I feel like I have nothing left to lose,
I had one hell of a case of them Hangover blues.

My wife tells me, it wasn't any fun,
I had one big case of Whisky ****,
and couldn't get it on.

Yet I still acted like a ***** and
after an Epic failure, I rolled over
to one side and tossed my cookies,
yes me, a real gentleman, right as rain.
so buckle up because here's the refrain..

Sometimes life is about winning  
just as well as you lose
I woke up this morning
with a case of the Hangover Blues.
let’s sit down and have a talk
i want you to know i took a walk
alongside the river

i looked upon the moonlight
reflecting off the lake that night
thinking about this issue

i think it’s time i’m going to say no
to myself and let this go
because i’m so tired

tired of how i’m getting hurt
seeing you being a flirt
what am a man to do

stand by and do nothing?
this feeling i have is so disgusting
i just want to walk away from all this

i cherish the friendship
but i can’t stand the tension
the love that burns in my heart

the pain, i can’t take any more
in this darkness, the love i’m groping for
it’s not going to be there when i fall

this my dear, i bid you adieu
good bye is what i will wish you
and all the love you will find
Her lips were full; her curves more-so
Her sensitive skin was blushing
This siren's song grew louder but
The world told me "no touching"
Her lips were red but bitten white
Her eyes were still and unblinking
She made the air feel ever hotter
Too hot for rational thinking
Her lips formed words and melodies
As my eyes traced her bone structure
I wanted to kiss her; she wanted it too
But society yelled "don't touch her"
Her lips were beautiful I wanted them so
But she would always be forbidden
An act so sweet and innocent
Is an act never to be forgiven
Her lips grew nearer; mine did too
'Til our mouths were nearly brushing
This siren's song grew louder, still
The world told me "no touching"
Her lips kissed mine so calm and chaste
She saved a damsel in distress
But storybooks don’t tell the tales
Of a girl and her beautiful princess
On society's problem with same-*** relationships
 Jan 2014 Banda Dipuo
John
on a long enough timeline
everybody wins
and everybody dies
everybody sins
and everybody lies

so now I'm just sitting
trying to graph out where I've been
to figure out when I'll be winning
this game that everybody loses
my hopes have been ground to dirt
and my love stomped and spit on
what I thought was there never really was
and so I'm left with an empty hug

it's cold now so I'm shivering
september's always been lonely for me
the coming cold keeps on hindering
the joy inside and dangling from a cliff
never dug myself out if so many holes
but this january proves september is nothing
taking me from shivering cold to smoldering human coal
but now that I've tasted the bottom
swirled the grass and dirt all in my mouth
i can say that I've seen the cold and felt the wind
I've stayed for a while at the coldest place I've ever been
 Jan 2014 Banda Dipuo
shy
Moments
 Jan 2014 Banda Dipuo
shy
It’s moments like these—
When your eyes connect with mine,
And I can’t help but fawn over their beauty.

Moments when your fingerprints leave
Invisible marks on my skin.
Branding me
Promises of forever,
A mere dream unspoken on your tender lips

Your kisses stealing
The end of my sentences
Murdering me soundlessly with every
Drawl of my name
And lingering glance

It’s moments like these,
When I thought it weren’t possible
Or not possible enough
That I’ve fallen even more in love
With your presence or
Your every word

Moments like these when I cannot control
The utter and irrefutable
Desire

The craving to be near you
To hold you
And just feel your existence

Moments that remain imprinted in my mind
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