and if he’s
finally happy
please,
nobody tell me

let me wonder
in secret
what he’s become
and how
it came to be

don't flood me
with memories
or burden me
with regret

on how he’s got
everything
he’s ever wanted
and i wasn't there
to see it.

as i writhe
in the devil’s grasp
and the eternal
flames of tarnation

from the depths
of my obsidian heart
lord, grant this sinner
her salvation

should i be tried
in the court of god
my only crime
was to live this life

and shall at last
the verdict comes
i’ll embrace the abyss
with open arms.

there’s an
impostor
in the mirror
and she has
my smile.

and for the
first time
in a
long time,
the girl
who stays
by the
exit sign,
closed
the door.

my fear
of mediocrity
sabotages
every opportunity
i have
of leaving it.

should i wake up
and find
that this has all
been a dream

i’ll close my eyes
and lay here
even if none of u
should reappear.

i was always
the poet
until
u turned me
into the poem.