you think your a poet
riddle me this
how come the scars upon my wrists
were scratched on by your fists

you think your a hero
who did you save
i see the children laughing
and i hope their hearts arent cracking

you think you deserve respect
what did you give
besides a shove down the staircase
or lesson in how to run a race

you think you understand
when did you die inside
it was all just a game to you
while i laid there without a clue

you think you earned the right
how were you a father
yea, your voice goes real loud
but it will never make anyone proud

you think your sorry
but how well was your apology made
crying and drinking dont go far
neither was the milage to the bar

you think you are forgiven
well to me, your just
a peice of nothing
yet at the same time, something

you think you are a father
hugging in fear is not love
you  squeezed so tight you broke my bones
while giving in to all your groans

you think you have an impact
on my life, when the truth is simple
the only reason i can never flee
is because you always will haunt me

you think i might just love you
but i hate you so much i dont care
because when i see the little girls on the playground
i want to cry and my mind pounds

you think i might forgive you
memories seem to clear more everyday
and ill never forgive a second youre around
id rather see you in the ground

to those who are living in a dream
while i survive the human condition
its not as easy as it may seem
reflecting the words
they think
suit me,
suit me up
in this casket
of lies i am being fed
while they pry my mouth open
but i am refusing to speak, refusing
to tell the judgment that I am not weak
I will keep my past bottled up, and
when the day comes I will break
that bottle, and out will come
an ocean of emotions
but not now,
not now
these waves
remain inside of
this bottle holding the
keys, to my heart, my soul
my past, my present, my future
they do exist, and one day I will find
the hammer to smash open these
clear glass lies being forced
down my throat, scratching
until my lungs cave in
but i wont give up
i refuse
to give
up
so I
swim to
the surface
gasp for air and
know that I will make
it worth the fight I fought
the ocean of lies will not defeat
me, and I will remain on the surface
of the life I never chose to live

you mock a pig
so I laugh at your
self righteousness

you say they take all they can get
when you resent what you can't

so I laugh at the
hypocritical and contradictory words
running from your mouth

and walk away slowly
while listening to you scream for me to
run back

the love you have is reckless
and the mind sets fallen too
and in your madness youve pulled us
down this spiral of a chute

we put you before our own love
when the truth we can never conceive
like the cold, plastic, mirror you hold
to stare at yourself and tease

we know all about your weakness
and weve fallen for tricks of despair
yet the truth is theres too much love
for yourself, theres none to share

you threaten the world with a razor
text all your friends, "nows the time"
"im gonna do it for real, i swear,
because the love i have aint worth a dime"

yet deep inside your pockets
the gold and silver grows
your heart burns in its fire
while your voice prepares for the "low"

the actress you have dreamt to be
slithers out of you every day
while all of your 'friends' stand here crying
waiting to see your body pulled, from the bay

though your mind thrills itself with laughter
as it thinks of all of those fools
who stand in the crowd waiting
as the ambulence takes out their tools

but your body has slithered back home
with the purpose and love held with pride
it is selfish of you, ******* selfish
when you think of those who've really died

quit playing the part, lifes no thriller
nobody likes the antagonist *****
and everyone knows deep inside
your body will never end up in a ditch

the marks on your arms are your make-up
not funny to those who feel the drag
of the razor so sharp it can sting you
while you walk with your shopping bags

i know this game, which your playing
in all terms its become rather pathetic
and when you run to me begging
ill stare, and then laugh, im apathetic

towards this character you have created
from the bottom of your selfish mind
i know not to trust you ever
because girl, youre one of a kind

i want freedom
from the cages they created
the skinny bars taunting
those red lines daunting

i want freedom
from the looks society gives
fat girls unwanted
***** are confronted

i want freedom
from the love i have
coiled around me in barbed wire
make a move youll feel the fire

i want freedom
from the past
alcohol brings the devil
we all bring out a different level

i want freedom
from my mind
smile, smile all the time
lying is my biggest crime

did it help?

feed a cold
starve the child
ponder this for a little while

feed the addiction
starve the child
its ok if your belt whips wild

feed the economy
starve the child
another beer for the tab unpiled

feed your weakness
starve the child
of a childhood profiled

feed your infamy
starve the child
of a sober father compiled

was it worth it?

I cant
I cant let you in
To this
This mess of me
Not the best of me
I don’t want to **** you in
For you to spit yourself out
And leave me hanging by a thread
Dangling overhead
This memorywell

If I do let you in
No matter how sweet
Or kind
How understanding
You will leave
Because that’s what everyone does
Why add another burden
To a lifetimes list
Of things to do

Yea
You can do me up
Chew me up
Savor the flavor
Spit me out
And reach for a new pack
Im replaceable
Untraceable
Wana see a magic trick?
****

Gone
Like the memory
Of how much you loved me
Gone
Like the winds
Which lead me to meet you
Gone
Because at the fork in the road
You split

The pressure
Behind my eyelids
Is swelling
Salt water trickles down
Softly pattering a rhythm
To dance alone to
While the pressure
Pulsing through my body
Coarses rapidly
Soon a flood will be released

So you can see
I cannot let you in
No matter how much
I want to trust
All I can do is sin
My nights away
So hopefully
Ill get another day

One is
Better than two
Or even three
You see?
Less chaos to keep track of
Because the thought of being attached
Leaves nowhere for one to run
So lets keep it simple
Son of a gun
With the number one