Electric currents shock my system
As I try to comprehend these feelings
I don't like to let myself feel things
They call it fear of commitment
It's not about that as much
As it's about self-preservation
Sometimes I feel suffocated
Because I feel so much
And these busted lungs
Can't handle everything at once
So I drown my blood with drugs
Some that allow my emotions to flow
Others that stop my mind from spinning
Either way it's hard to stay sober
For too long in this crazy life
I can handle the stress
I can handle the pain
But when it comes to love and like
A panic breeds in my soul
Because I'm afraid to show myself to these women
These demons owned me for so long
I'm covered in scars
Some you can see
Some you can't
Either way they show themselves someway
They're damaging despite their invisibility
And owning that fact is tough
Taking responsibility is even harsher
But if I want something honest and genuine
That's exactly what I have to be

Not sure if you changed your number
Or ignored my texts
But you need to hear this
Remember that **** that happened my senior year?
When you decided that you'd stay alive if I stayed physically involved with you?
And continued to touch me even though I said no?
You better not have forgotten
Because I sure haven't
That is called coercion
Not only is it ****** assault
It is ****
Which makes you a ******
You made me feel so bad for stopping
For no longer letting you use me
That was victim blaming
You placed your supposed 'love' for me
Over my literal existence as a human being
You justified ****** me
By saying you loved me
And that doing it would keep you
From killing yourself
But you didn't realize how much
You were killing me
Just because you love someone
Does not mean they owe you anything
Whether they like you back
Or not
Whether they've hurt you
Or not
You do NOT get to assault people
Just because you think you deserve it
I'm not as mad as I used to be
And I'm only writing this
Because you need to hear it
You need to know you're a ******
So you don't do it ever again

I can't change what you did to me
But you can make sure it NEVER happens again