ive decided this is my official coming back.

i missed all of you.

im currently quarantined with my extremely toxic family and its a struggle to stay sane and mentally healthy.

i need somewhere to vent and somewhere to feel the support of others and in that process i want to support all of you and read your poems and gain knowledge about your experiences.

thank you for being such a lovely little community, and a safe haven for people wanting to put their work out into the world.

my dad loves me when i go to the gym

says i need to get skinnier

gets me weight loss vitamins

he doesn't understand

i try to be understanding of his lack of understanding

instead i stop eating and say it is the gym

i see him proud when i lose weight

i only see myself getting fatter

stop it
just stop
please stop talking
i'm tired of talking about this
i'm tired of your excuses
listen to me
listen to me
stop talking
stop talking please
i'm trying so hard
please
stop
talking
why won't you ever listen to me
you push me this far
you push me so far
you push me
you put me here
and you can't take it back

beyond the safe i thought i made
i found a place to ******* die

it's like feeling eyes on me at all times
like angels tracing my moves
four heads turning my way
i can't move
they'll catch on
i'm held beneath my own breath
not a sound
no release
i can't get up
just to pass on the baton
just to trace the angelic figure
but i don't move there
i can't move there
i can't be seen
heard
eyes all around
limbs straight
watching me lord
there is no lord

when you want to be kind
be kind
but when you want to be mean
be kinder