my atoms

have always loved your atoms.

you caught me off guard
like a subway pulling too
quickly

out of Ossington Station

(I couldn’t ground myself)

you remind me of my last breath:
taut, slight but necessary

stay

with me

I still feel your words
growing up my spine
there are dead roses
covering my sheets from you

and although he picked them up
and wrapped new vines
around my front door
and gifted me jars filled with conversation

the tattooed pilot wings on his chest
are reminiscent of yours flying above me

Looking into your eyes
I ask a single question
"Did you expect this?"
Of course
You shake your head
Confirming my worst fears
"It's just too much for me"
Too much for you
My abuse
My heartbreak
My abandonment
My scars
Are too much
For you
But like always
I nod
"It's okay, its too much for me too"
But just remember
When they find my body
In a bathtub filled with blood
You told me
It was too much
For you

I saw a flower
wilting beautifully
in a bed of
uncertainty
and I wondered if it
was afraid to face the sun
because it perhaps forgot
sunscreen
and in its attempts
at self preservation
it starved itself of what
it needed
--the sunshine.

That which doesn't
**** you
only gives you
one hell of a life
story to tell.