The flames keep eating away
At this broken story of ours
The smoke builds towers
Like pleads for help to the sky

No matter how we toss and turn
These embers still burn
In this loveless nighttime
In the brisk air of day

I can't get it right since I met you
And oceans still beg for me to stay
But I am soaring on in my own way

When will this loneliness be over?

your absence creeps
all around me
when i fell to the ground
you did not help me to my feet

i should have known it
the first time around
aware by the original sound
of her name leaving your lips;
while i was the one you were sleeping with

this is how the truth will hit
home, it shatters your dreams
so lie down, try to forget about it
because loves like this
are never as they seem.

why waste your words
on one who wont ever hear
who wont really care
when the sentences fall in line
with the scars on your wrist
and when the period comes
before the comma
to send your fairy tales a different way home.

i've been biting at my fingernails
until their crescent white is gone
and i've been leaving you trails
on how to get past this over-stretched yawn;
a hiccup in our story

have you ever laid at the spine of a tree,
looked up
and saw the leaves?
they're falling, but not for us,
no, they fall for a greater cause
the change of november
will swallow you whole
spit you out
and leave you
alone

i bite my tongue often
regularly grind my teeth
like butterflies, they slip out of your fingers
right as you caught them
they want you to bury it all beneath
and ignore what hollow ache lingers

hurtful words spew from a once-love's lips
my jaw aches
the ego stays intact
don't know where my bones will fit
live with my mistakes
the time has come to face the facts

misuse of vibrant words
wasted on the deaf
tell me, have you heard
about how my life is just a mess?

the evening sun kisses me goodbye
when the smoke rises
and tears fall

come over and stay
for just a little while
we can watch the rain fall
with our brown eyes

i'll make you tea
with ice cubes in it so as not to
burn that heavenly mouth
i found a home in months ago
but you packed my bags and through them
out on the curb,

foreheads pressed together with your eyes locked on mine,
you say "stay strong"
when you are my sole weakness

white powder and green flakes
oceans rush in after your wake
i can't stop with the poisoned lungs
and the blisters
or the lines on my throat

angels and devils
all lined up to see me fall
this was nothing
to you

become a statistic,
another number in the game
with those newborn chemicals routing through your veins
like trees shooting through your skin.

my knuckles bled for the loss of them
and the paint spilled across the canvas
like arguments that never found the end
broken moments pass
all on your own

i know it well
the taste of your mouth
and the pressure of your grasp
i know it well
the hatred you spout
the tranquil that never lasts

constellations of marks on the flesh
minutes come and hours mesh
between the sands of time we writhe
only to find our hope buried in our minds

it's been lack-luster lately
the sunshine doesn't warm you
the way it did in the summer
and the oceans still beg
for you to come out to see
what lingers at the bottom
of the deepest parts of the sea.

i could've lost myself to the tides,
but instead i found the blade
and the blood had to dry
before the knot was made

accept that you've lost him and
you're not getting him back, no
you never needed a man
to tell you where to go.

Everything I say bounces off the walls in your brain.
The drink made you insane-
I've seen it once, I see it again,
I prepare myself for another bitter end.
It's relentless, it's hopeless
The way you give in
It's just like how my mother made you
Bury yourself in sin.
It's my childhood all over again.
Everyone tells me I don't deserve this;
I didn't deserve any of it.
I'm not a *****,
But I'm *******,
Microwave your mind's eye
And I'll be busy rebuilding mine.
It's a level of a detachment
That mingles wth dissociation.
The creak of the wheel turning in your head-
It's falling off the track.
You are not my father
When you are drunk.

what can i say
the bitter cold has a way
of etching words of sorrow
into your bone marrow

i liked the way you breathe
always so gentle
even when your heart is lashing out at me
i thought i had it handled
the way i fall in love completely
or not at all
you wouldn't even meet me
at the train station, so i walked

everyone says i should be angry
but no, i am just so sad
loss holds a heavy weight upon me
not enough to anger me, just enough to drive me mad

what more can i say,
when you have a way
of feeling your thoughts so deep
never having time for anyone else to keep.

my fixation is
slowly fading away
and its ties to my heart
are fraying at the end

i can breathe again
for myself,
freedom comes in increments
starts with gnawing at your own teeth
and writing for yourself

i hope my silence leaves you empty handed
and you will know then what you had
when you forced my love to disbandment
for a while there, i was pretty sad.

but i'm moving past you now
like a stream smoothing over the rocks
while your head is up in the clouds
i'll be learning how to talk
again

you made me mute
in your torment
our one sided theories face the refute
i will no longer remain silent.

i will embrace the air like
a long lost relative
abandoned by the sands of time
i gave all i had to give
and now i will reclaim what is mine

winter froze us solid, solitary
i am no longer by your side
the omen calls.
hoping for something different;
oh, how useless.
unordinary and bold,
the time between us grows.

yes, i am alright without you
okay, i know you're hurt
unforgiven sins lay barren

its all over

all of the evening sunsets
mindbending in their infinity

fear and love
impeccably, are two very different things
never risk where
empathy lies

when i'm singing
i hear that little drawl
that you have when you let your melodies go
and you've moved your way into my veins
reduced me to an empty crawl
and i am shrinking, watching your embers grow

we move together under blankets of
regretful submission
and resentful *******
and it fits like cinderella's long lost shoe
her prince came to take her away
but i'm still crawling,
longing for you

you see my eyes gazing back at yours,
don't you?
can you see how much i adore
everything about you?
those shoulders covered with your
softly shadowed skin
rise and fall above me, you're
all that i need

Write a poem.

your words are ethereal
they keep me solid
red wine, aged since 1990
keeps you lingering in my mind

i can't see past your brown eyes
they're my blue skies
big enough to be mirrors
to my empty soul

what would we do
if we spent hours with each other
speak in tongues and
writhe together over love lost

the weight of your angel wings
is sending shivers down my spine
open windows and shady trees
sentences that do not rhyme

i can't let you go
with your open arms
that keep me on my level
the oceans sigh for us
the sand tumbles over itself
keep me out of harms way
when i drown my tears
in the blood red

you and your
bad news
look me in the eyes
and tell me something new

you say the pain will pass with time
but i can't please you
the way i used to

if you're going to call me easy
for giving all i have to give
then perhaps you don't deserve my pleasantries
i'm not quite sure where to begin.

formidable in your fleeting ways
i come crawling from beneath the sheets
of the earth's gentle waves
my lips trailing down
from your head
to your feet

and maybe this love is dead,
darling
but that's no reason to say what you have said.
scarring
my thighs and taciturn wrists
my heart goes racing after
the taste of your lips

letting go ain't so easy
for this star crossed lover
for you, it seems as simple as breathing
while i lie under covers
in your bed
in your home
on your street
on my knees
i'm running red
now, why don't you pick up the phone

it appears i've caught a cold
in those winter winds
it appears my antics have grown old
after all, i'm just a kid

what are you, where are you,
my lovely young wanderer?
i didn't mean to smother you
possessive is just part of my nature.

where you tread
alive or dead
i will follow you.

where do words come into the mix
of the body of lust and
the simple little fix
of you inside of me
and me entangled with you
it wont take me too long to see
that my wounds, you cannot soothe

and in these dreams i wake
to heartbreak and mild mistakes
of looking into another's face
you cannot forgive the wrongs i make

but i forget yours
and push them away
if we were counting scores
your dust would be all i could taste

and in the end it's a sorry tale
of a lover's lost soul
and the brittle heart of males
a dog without it's bone,
an actor out alone
let the lonely spirit consume you whole.

you closed the door without even looking in
you were too scarred to even begin
and when i wait for you, you never come
because you're far too busy searching for the meaning of life's conundrums.

and you don't see what i am
but i see who you are
i've been traveling, from land to land
but even here at home, you couldn't get much farther

i'm pretending i don't care but trust me baby
you broke my heart in the matter of two weeks
i don't care if you regret it, love
i'm alone again, it seems

so build your house of wax and leaves
i'll be the sparrow hiding in your trees
remembering a simple kiss
ah, it don't mean ****.
it don't mean ****.

i got so attached so fast
looked back on the plane and saw our past
shoulda' known it was too good to last.

i needed a new muse
you needed someone to use
i wanted something brand new
you wanted something, but you never knew.

so i wont knock upon your door anymore
i wont stand at your steps, awaiting
because i don't know what i'm waiting for
just knew i was ready for creating.