I want to fall in love again,
But only with you.

I keep hearing trains, but there's no station around
Is it possible for the mind to fabricate the 1 sound
Of what you need to hear?
Could it then, possibly, bring you nearer?

They told me not to look back
But how can you not with a past like that?
It took 2 months to find a connection
Generating such adoration and passion.

So I've been smoking up a storm
In my man made heaven, in some form
I think I exerted myself a little too much
Spent over 3 hundred dollars on you, but i used you as a crutch

So back to standing as singular as ever
Metaphors and words that appear to be clever
Well I won't forget you my dear, never,
Just wish those times with you could last forever

what can i say
the bitter cold has a way
of etching words of sorrow
into your bone marrow

i liked the way you breathe
always so gentle
even when your heart is lashing out at me
i thought i had it handled
the way i fall in love completely
or not at all
you wouldn't even meet me
at the train station, so i walked

everyone says i should be angry
but no, i am just so sad
loss holds a heavy weight upon me
not enough to anger me, just enough to drive me mad

what more can i say,
when you have a way
of feeling your thoughts so deep
never having time for anyone else to keep.

here's to a lover that doesn't want me here
here's to a lover that wants me gone
here's to you, an angel disguised as man
here's to the bleeding broken heart thumping away in my chest

here's to all the liquor my body wouldn't stomach
here's to the blood, the marks i left along my skin
here's to the fear, the crippling terror of being trapped in your own head
here's to the selfish ******* said you loved.

here's to the nights we spent in bed
and the days we lingered under sheets
here's to the kisses we shared
that didnt mean **** to you

here's to the love i thought we had
pulsing and beating through one heart
thought it was mirrored, reflected inside your own,
what a silly mistake to make.

knives behind my eyes and
blood dripping from my skin
here comes the feeling we
thought we had forgotten

the wolves are watching me with
hungry, angry eyes
from the darkness in my mind
they linger quietly, waiting to strike

i got blood on your sheets,
i got a ransom on my neck
nooses and blades all sing
for me to utilize them

piano keys light the way home
trains are screaming from a mile away
80 miles aint too far to go
from a home where i should've just stayed

i have your name on the cuts on my arm and legs
i stopped with the ravaged skin on the newly tattooed wrist
here we are, us lowly dregs
i still can remember the first time we kissed,
like it was yesterday

our bones crack at the same pitch
we would know all about that,
the way we make music
together, beside each other, side by side
soaking our skins in a tub full of lukewarm water
you started crying on my shoulder
and you said the words i knew would come again, again
i could feel it rising on your tongue,
with the fall of your lungs
you breathed out the words with no remorse,
"i don't want to hurt you," you said
well you did,
purely,
wholly,
totally,
destroyed

all these paths lead to the same place
all these empty gazes lead to the same thoughts
and when i'm fighting for you,
you'll be laying back, watching with green eyes
i've been trying to be everything you need and more
and i'm feeling so ******* empty and hollowed out to the core
because no matter how much i give, i will never receive half the worth

my fingers race along the keys without second thoughts
but empty words that don't mean **** to either of us
i can't make art the way i used to, no
art made me me this way
so hard to let go

i used to spend days on end just writing words
for someone to read and cry over
but no one would or could,
they're emptier than my soul left alone

but they were all i had,
a thousand billion words i had already said in my head
a million trillion times prior to
the page unfurling to the pen

i'm sick of these one sided games
where i'm always left out from myself,
watching two lovers caress each other
from the outside in
but did they feel a thing at all?