all i ever wanted
was you to leave a mark
on my skin
bruises to abrasions
lovers to hatred

and i wanted something to remember you by
not the songs i hear or
the tears i've cried
something more than a memory to
keep you close to home.

i know my heart is a vacant hold
onto your vindictive soul
i hope someday it drifts away,
rather than devour me whole.

i want more than your blood in my veins,
i want you in my rib cage
bursting with flora and ferns
building your garden from the inside out

forgetting you
is proving to be
a nearly impossible task.

faces fake like plastic
minds full of lies
make believe friendships
and bullet-proof sighs
guess thats the way the world turns
makes me lose my sight

is it so hard to find companionship on this
corrupted earth
i am all the things you wouldn't miss
regretting that one and only birth

did we choose to come out of the womb
or was it out of our control?
when the world cripples you so soon,
and devours you whole,
where can you escape to?

and who are my real friends
what helping hands does substance lend
this open wound, the skin will not mend
till the room is painted in red

the only passion i have
is found in words and love
tears and blood
there is no rhythm
like the one your heart beat plays

the silence is intimidating
crushing you from the inside out
loneliness creeps
from each corner you forgot to dust
nothing happens around here

so the air grows stagnant
around our soft little shell of a planet
the ground the abdomen,
the trees the appendages
there's not much of a difference between us,
after all.

i can smell you sometimes
i can taste you anytime
even though you're not around,
when i need you

I want to run barefoot
But the bitter cold will blister my toes
And I want to pick flowers
But the winter winds have blown them all away,
The cold has crippled them to their death.
I want a friend that doesn't melt
Once time runs it's course
A love that doesn't halt
To drown you in remorse.

I want a river that won't freeze
When the temperature gets too low
I want the solemn summer breeze,
Not the cold winds that now blow.
They call it seasonal affective disorder,
Where the sun turns away from us,
You bury your shame in mortar
And the ice crystals bring back your blush
In those full cheeks, with no relief
We sing for the days we lost.
Pain is just a lowly cost
For the ataraxia to come.

So bite your nails till they bleed,
And pick away at the scars you made
Soon enough you will find what you need
As the seasons change, you must take it day by day.

i will run barefoot through the snow
longing for you
like i did years ago
screaming for a mother who
never paid the time of day
to a lonely child like me
your similarities to
how she used to say
"i'm gonna die, someday"
just things you never needed to say

and i'll take a look at the stars
just hoping that you're looking too
but i know that you aren't
because you're too busy being open and loose
like kites in the air
in the summer breeze
life just ain't fair
for people like you and me

don't give your words to him
because he doesn't deserve them
don't give your patience, your time
just become the never mind

where do words come into the mix
of the body of lust and
the simple little fix
of you inside of me
and me entangled with you
it wont take me too long to see
that my wounds, you cannot soothe

and in these dreams i wake
to heartbreak and mild mistakes
of looking into another's face
you cannot forgive the wrongs i make

but i forget yours
and push them away
if we were counting scores
your dust would be all i could taste

and in the end it's a sorry tale
of a lover's lost soul
and the brittle heart of males
a dog without it's bone,
an actor out alone
let the lonely spirit consume you whole.

with my brown eyes peering back at you
from the snowed-in window pane
i shivered at the look of you
staring back at me
because i could smell you through
the closed doors

and i rested my head upon your shoulder
and you rested yours upon mine
i could not shake the desire
to reach for love i would never find

in the darkness of the night
i long for you alone
for us to make these wrongs a right
your name runs through the marrow of my bones

these words are overused
lost in synchronicity
the time has come for me to choose
between lust and serendipity

the "l" word and it's lofty weights
the way i'm begging for you to stay
but you told me not to come back again
but it's your heart on which i depend

i love you, no
i lust after you
say it ain't so
for you to love me too.