Saying "I love you"
To hear it back from your lips
A reassurance

I cry now days.
I don't hold it back.
Anything that jerks my tears,
Successfully pull at least one.

Today I was scrolling,
My contact list, my connections.
I saw her name.
Her picture.
Her number.

I see it every day, almost.
I've never cried like this.

it's 5am
the moon is still awake
the birds sings
and the cold wind blows
over the silence

the rooster crows
and i smell
the sweet fragrance
of grasses
and i don't mind
if it's dark or cold

i have to see you
before you go home
to tell you goodbye

before i'll miss
your lips
your hugs
and your eyes

i hope by 6am
when you go
when we separate
our ways
you'll miss me too

i live for the moments
that you clasp my hands
tight like you're worried
i might float away.
the times your lips can't
contain your love when
you're close to mine.
the ways you find to hold
me when i'm too far
away to be held.
the things you do to
remind me that your heart
is my home.
the places we will soon
declare as ours like our
interlocked fingers are explorers.
i'm alive with you.

There will come a day
When you think of me
And think about what was us
And you'll think,
"I sure dodged a bullet"
The day you think that,
Is the day I put one
Through my brain

From inside myself i can hear
Shrieking, roaring voices
Telling me what i am not
Stating what i will never be
And screaming at me the worst
Which is what i am
NOTHING
    WORTHLESS
           STUPID/FAT/UGLY/*****/****
And i want to fight back
Rebel, scream, cry, cut until
They've seeped out of my blood
I don't rebel, i
Obey their every word because i know
That those words are true
And i deserve this

We could do it you know

We could run away together and leave all of it behind

All the second thoughts all the outside opinions would vanish

We could just be together

We could spend everyday doing things that make us happy

There would be no expectations no moral obligations

Just us and what we want to do

We really could do it you know

But the question is...
Would you want to?