I somehow enjoy the pain
Of countless needle ******
Like I love to watch the rain
As it falls on my window and sticks
The outcome worth the process
So much more than I can express

I sleep,
almost every night.
Most nights I'm too scared to shut my eyes.
You're in every one of my dreams---well,
nightmares.
I just can't seem to shake the thought of you.
of you and I.
But something always happens, the dreams end the same way.

I wake up afraid that you might actually be here.

We have *** everyday. But that's for me.
not you.
There's a reason I close my eyes when I kiss you.
You're the filler-friend. I do not love you.
I don't need your advice, I don't need your lectures.
I need you to do what you're here for, then leave.
Simple as that.
Good Riddance.

I'm so in love with the boy who hit me
The man who stole my heart
I know he's toxic, he's poison, he's deadly
I can't stop the fighting, the wanting, the loving
The awful, murderous love within

I come to you every night to forget about the night before.
Convince myself that you'll be different this time, better this time.
Still, I hear myself being ignored,
See myself being overlooked,
Feel myself being pushed out,
We're really just *******.

So Please
stop with the "I love you" 's
do not hold me while I sleep,
do not look at me when I see you outside your bedroom,
and do not kiss me in public.
Let me go a day without your alcoholism on my mind.
      Let me be free from this bind you hold me in so tight.