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 Jan 2015 Atta
kylie formella
ghost
 Jan 2015 Atta
kylie formella
please tell your ghost to stop following me
and whispering in my ears
that i was not good enough
please tell your ghost to stop following me
and calling me sweetheart
and putting his hands all over me
please tell your ghost to stop following me
and watching me while i cry
about how i miss you
please tell your ghost to stop following me
and laying in bed with me
keeping me from closing my eyes
please tell your ghost to stop following me
if i can't have you
then i don't want your
ghost
 Jan 2015 Atta
Beaux
Untitled
 Jan 2015 Atta
Beaux
I want to live, not just survive

-Angel With a Shotgun, The Cab
 Jan 2015 Atta
Beaux
Terrible Things
 Jan 2015 Atta
Beaux
By the time I was your age
I'd give anything
to fall in love truly was all i could think
that's when i met your mother
the girl of my dreams
the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen

She said, "boy can i tell you a wonderful thing?"
I cant help but notice you staring at me
I know i shouldn't say this
But, i really believe i can tell by your eyes
That you're in love with me

Now, son I'm only telling you this
Because life can do terrible things

Now most of the time we'd have too much to drink
We'd laugh at the stars and we'd share everything
Too young to notice and too dumb to care
But, love was a story that couldnt compare

I said, "girl can i tell you a wonderful thing?"
I made you a present with paper and string
Open with care now im asking you please
You know that i love you, will you marry me

Now son, im only telling you this
Because life can do terrible things

Youll learn one day ill hope and ill pray
That god shows you differently

She said boy can i tell you a terrible thing
Seems that im sick and ive only got weeks
Please dont be sad now, i really believe
You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me

Slow, so slow
I fell to the ground on my knees

Don't fall in love
It's just too much to lose
if given the choice
Then I'm begging you to choose
To walk away, walk away
Dont let her get you
I cant bare to see the same
Happen to you

Now, son im only telling you this
Cause, life can do terrible things
- MAYDAY PARADE
 Jan 2015 Atta
Ember Evanescent
Andy...

You are not alive anymore.

You will never read this as a living breathing human anymore, you will never click on this poem and read my name and be blinded by the brightness of the screen, but I wanted to post this anyway. I wonder if you are watching me type this in spirit form or if you are doing something else but, just know that I'm glad. I'm glad you are not suffering anymore from the dread. I'm glad you are not scared anymore, because waiting is the worst. I grieve for your family and I'm heartbroken for your friends, and all who loved you but you were truly the most inspiring person I have ever had the privilege to speak to. I hope from heaven you can see me, I really hope now you know my real name because it probably doesn't make a difference but it's something I wanted to tell you because, I mean, that's a part of my identity, that's me, and I loved your soul. I loved listening to you, I loved reading what you had to say I loved watching the people who's lives you touched be inspired by the amazing person you were and you know what, it felt wrong for you not to know my name but I am very wary on the internet, I don't give out personal information so I stuck to my screen name, symbolic for something deeper, a deeper part of me, so in a way it was a part of my identity like a name but it still wasn't my real name.

The cancer killed your body, but nothing could possibly **** your soul, and I hope to God you are happy now that you have passed on because if anyone deserves it, it is you Andy.

I think “Rest In Peace” has lost its meaning from overuse by now, so instead I will say

Rest happily, Andy.

“And” is a part of your name, Andy
And you were the “and” in everyone you met’s lives. Something additionalto people’s lives to remind them that there is an and not just the depression or sadness they feel in their lives there is an and to go along with their burdens and that and was HOPE. You were hope. I hope you are okay, I pray for you and like I said before, Andy, I don’t know where you are but if you read this where ever you are in whatever form somehow Andy as I said before I don’t know what you are facing, what is going on right now with you now that you have passed on but like I said before it’s okay to be afraid.

I don’t know what else to say.

There will never be another person like you ever for the rest of eternity, so thank you, for being you and wherever and whatever you are, I hope you Rest Happily Andy, and I thank God for the beautiful blessing I was given: Knowing you.

Ember Evanescent
I encourage everyone who has been affected by Andy when he was alive to write something like these so it is forever imprinted in Hellopoetry what a difference his existence made, the way his imprint is in our hearts and lives.

Rest Happily Andy

Please pray for him, he changed by life.
He is a beautiful soul.
Even if you don't believe in souls or God or anything, please I beg of you to pray for him because even if you don't believe, can it really hurt?
I think it really would make a difference and I just wish he got a better ending because he deserves a thousand golden happy endings more than anyone.
 Jan 2015 Atta
WickedHope
I'm just tired. Of everything.

Lay your head on my shoulder and rest

Kind and tender offer, truly touches my heart, but my head is too heavy a burden for me to rest on anyone.

I will take that burden as I hold my own. If I were Atlas the Titan holding the sky above I would still take that weight

You are beautiful.
Please don't stop being beautiful, love.
I no longer have a sky,
But you make me want to rebuild mine.
If only a piece.
You are a star,
Shining at night.
You are a lamp,
Shedding some light.
You are a hope,
Making me want to fight.
Want to fight.
But to weak to stand.

I will be your shoulder to cry on
I will be your arm to lean on
I will hold your hand when things get rough
I will light the way in your darkest times
I will be here to the end


I just want to cry but the tears won't come.

Why cry darling? You have no reason to shed tears

I'm so broken, ***, I'm two shards away from gone.

I can be the glue that holds you together. < holds you close > I will be here

Glue always seems to wash away with me
< curls into a ball >

Then I'm industrial welding. I'll be here for as long as you need and longer

Darling... you are a lovely piece of humanity, never lose that about you.

*Please just hang on [my real name]. I couldn't bear losing you.
Losing you hurts like hell, love. </3
What if I still need you? What then?
- - -
Some exchanges from earlier November, when I was "unwell."
I wanted to **** myself, and when I felt like no one else was, Andy was there to give me reason not to.
The BOLD words are Andy's, because everything he said is boldly imprinted into my heart.
- - -
~ 1 A.M. (EST) 12/30/2014 was the last I ever got to hear from him.
I want to remember that.
- - -
 Jan 2015 Atta
Girl On The Wing
I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry that I'm at a loss for words. I do know this. Bodies come and go. Physical living heart beats come and go. Voices and hands to type come and go. The beauty of life is that the soul transcends the physical. Bodies are vehicles for the soul. Sometimes people lose their driving license. Maybe that just means they need to carpool. Love is proven true when you feel the burn of its absence. Please remember that just because there is no voice to hear, or body to hold, or ears to listen; does not mean a person has left. Souls are silent, but they will not leave those who love them.
Anyone who needs to talk or share, can come to me. I can't promise instant response, but I will respond eventually.
 Jan 2015 Atta
anu
End is Endless..
 Jan 2015 Atta
anu
Every sunrise has a sunset
Every day has a night
Every up has a down
Every start has an end
         BUT END
NEVER HAS AN END ....
my humble tribute to the end of 2014 which shows me this wonderful world HP...
 Jan 2015 Atta
WickedHope
I once heard someone say
That they both tried to **** themselves
But Juliet Failed the first time
(Even though she technically just
Wanted to appear dead)
But statistically girls are more likely to
Try to **** themselves
And if you count that first time
She tried twice
And Romeo died the one and only time
Which makes sense because

Though girls are more likely to try
Guys are more likely to actually die
What.
- - -
Anyone else hate me? Because I used to feel hated.
Now I feel invisible, and not in the good way.
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