Old habits are hard to break,
this timeless wisdom holds true.
Unfortunately I've always had
an addictive personality, and
                                                               it's
never been more true
than now, when I'm trying
to break myself of you. And
maybe you can't decipher
my inconsistent actions, but
                                                              you
see it's hard to change my
reactions to your movements.
So when you lean in close and
turn your head towards mine,
instinct takes over, and
                                                              I
can't help but go for the kiss
I seem to constantly
                                                              crave.

We have different thoughts when we lay awake at night,
You're worried about more alcohol,
I'm just trying to make you feel alright.

I have been trying to cradle your soul,
But it doesn't help it all,
Build you up to be bigger than me,
And you still feel small.

I have been waiting on nothing so it never arrives,
Falling asleep to neon lights through the curtains,
With tears in my eyes.

You said it yourself,
Timing is everything,
It's not just fate,
I'm always early and you're always late.

****
And you said it would be different,
That you were someone I could adore,
But it's all the same,
I give it all to you and end up torn.

What a shame.
What a shame.
Yeah, you were in the wrong
But I took the blame.

I just wanted to let you know....
I hate you.
I hate everything about you.
The way you talk.
The way prioritize work over developing a relationship with your son.
How you constantly put me down when I make mistakes.
How you somehow think yourself superior to everyone else when your intelligence level is mediocre at best.
How you make me hate myself.
How you set unrealistic standards.
I hate EVERYTHING about you.
I hate that we share the same gene pool.

I'm trying to see the silver lining but the only one i can ever remember was the one around the tip of your gun. As if killing things for fun was somehow a release from within you, as the bullet released from your barrel took last breaths from their lungs. Leaving holes in chests was something you've always done well. My broken heart could never be cocked back and ready for another shot, but you reload your gun and move on as if i was nothing more than your next ****. Silly girl, don't be fooled by the thrill. The boy who shoot hearts out never had sympathy for girls crying by the window sill.

(s.m)