Sitting there
I realized
I will never
Be the reason you wake up
In the morning

I will not
Be your muse

Nor will I
Be the reason why
This is your favorite coffee shop

All because
Your heart was already locked
I spent days, months, years
Trying to find the key
But she beat me
All I want to do
Is take what is rightfully mine
The love that could have been
Should have been
Would have been

If only
She hadn't come around
With her innocent smile
And naive eyes
Glaring
Staring me down
Like a hawk

What did she do to deserve you?
Is she a Goddess?
A Queen?
A Siren who sang to you
And lured you in so deep
You drowned?

My heart
Was stolen in the midst of
All of this chaos
But I know it is safe
Lying deep
Within the darkness

Is it wrong
If all I want
For me is you?

You are the reason I wake up
Every morning
You are my muse
And you make this coffee shop
Feel like home.

What if nothing really exists?
That is the question.
A question that digs deep into the soul

Who created God?
I've always wondered this
How could God exist?
How could one single being
Obtain enough power
To create all of existence?

All of the beliefs
Have very little evidence
I do not fully believe in anything
For I do not agree with non sense.

Will I always be your sloppy seconds?
A binge that you will end up regurgitating in the end
That first addictive taste of a cigarette that consumes you
And I am left, smashed on the ground

Will I always be your escape route?
A rescue boat from the lousy life you are living
Lying, deceiving, a black hole ready to cave in

Will I always be there at 3 am when you're lonely?
Sadly, I will
I will stupidly be more than ready to come and save you
From your lonely, drunken nights
But will you?
When I am in need
When I feel like there is nothing left to live for
Will you be ready for me?

I will forever be your last resort
A sinful secret
The last bottle of whiskey
That you downed so nicely
And you will forever be my ever so holy number one
That smooth drive home to your house
When all innocence was not lost
And I feel whole once more

Will I always be a fool?
An optimistic, hopefully, trusting, fool
Thinking this time will be different
Thinking I wont end up alone once more.

Pearls lay sweetly around her neck
Lace amplifying every perfection on her beautiful body
The moon light glows heavenly upon her skin

What a waste of time
Spent drooling
Hopelessly
My eyes, drowning.
All the lights
Closing in
And darkness occupied my vision.

Blood shot eyes
Burning
Is this really living?
Resting
My eyes permanently shut

And what will it take
To keep me awake
For a simple second

Fumbling finger tips
Lazily tripping
On the mapped out seams
Of my factory sewn dress

And I am left
Vacant
Swallowed by the *****
And the rain
Sea sick of the games you play
I stared into your eyes
And I looked so defeated
Has life finally caught up with me?

A cigarette
Feels so warm
Like a hug from a friend
And you feel like you belong
Finally
I found where I belong
Cigarettes,
Memories kept
All my secrets
Are left on cigarettes

Beautifully dressed
A painful kiss
So long, Goodbye,
My love.