flipping pennies
into wishing wells
i still hope
for you

s.s

It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

you did nothing wrong

i broke my own heart
in believing
you’d be different this time
that you cared enough
to stay

s.s

he helped build her confidence
like roman architecture
awe worthy and unwavering
then he left
but she knew
she was not worth any less
just as the ruins of pompeii
are still admired
and the colosseum
still stands tall
even if broken
they are still beautiful
so even through
she feels broken
she knows
she is still beautiful

the truth about happiness
is that is never lasts
not really

happiness is fleeting
like a balloon
after you’ve filled it up to fly
tied it and all
but the tie was loose
and so
eventually
it would fall

the oxygen escapes the balloon
like happiness escapes us
little by little
we become the least bit unhappier

when i fell in love with him
it was as if i received a balloon for a very first time
how happy he made me
gave me a high like no other
but again
the tie was loose
our happiness wouldn’t last forever

soon there was a day
where the euphoria wore off
the balloon left for the skies
and he followed
so i was left
to drown
in my own sadness
in the ocean
of my doubt

happiness is fleeting
quick
taken for granted
it feels like a once-in-a-lifetime thing
and you just missed it

but life waits for no one
so i kept walking
and there, i found you

and my dear,
i would find out
that you made the world a little less bleak
gave me a little hope
made me a little happy
when i did not think i could feel happiness again.

there were still days
where i fell back into the darkness
and my happiness dissapeared
but you stayed
and each time
you taught me a new form
of “happy”

and you told me
that to be really
truly
happy
more than loving you
i needed to love me

for if one day
you could not walk the same path as i
then my smile would not wither
like the flowers you gave me
or die out
like the love i gave in return
— and they did

so the truth about happiness
i was right the first time
it doesn’t last
not really
not with someone else

the only way to achieve “eternal happiness”
is to find that happiness
within yourself

Amidst the smoke and light and laughter
Along the smiles and cheers thereafter

A sound is bled, wrung free from strings
It bounds and treads and wholly sings
Inside each song, a secret’s moved
Not right nor wrong or frequent proved
The message dances from bow to ear;
A coded trance of love and fear
From left to right the story rings
Of death and light the Cello brings
The covert tale engulfs the room
It vibrates truth to those who loom
The Cello knows for why it’s played
Its secret lost, both gone and stayed

In the smoke and light and laughter
Music lies and cries thereafter

"She was an
unusual dresser.
Every night,
she wore bruises
on her heart,
love on her lips,
pain in her eyes,
and ink on her fingers.
They called her poetry."

a prince
on a white horse
regal clothes
and admirers galore

you are but
a fantasy to me
something unreachable?
even worse
something simply unreal

i am stuck in the real world
and here i know
you will not come to save me
you do not have a crown
guards to protect you
or a kingdom to come home to

but little do you know
even when you have not come to me
you have saved me
again and again and again
with your voice
your smile
your story

you are the main character
of a fairytale
and although we are stuck
in different realities
you are still a prince
to me