So nice to your face
But holding a knife in your back
Laughing at you
Making jokes

Thought you were my friends
Guess I was wrong
Am I back in grade school
What have I done wrong?

Just because I like to document somethings in my life
Or write poetry and stories
That isn’t fun or right

I love what I do
I love my life
Social media sometimes blows
When your friends show their true colors
But yet suddenly you know

So alone in a crowded room
I will cut everyone out of my life so soon
Do what you want
Say what you please
I am what I am
At least some people actually accept me...

One day you’ll look back
Forget the past
Live in the moment
Walk toward your future
One day….
The past has guided you
To live within each moment
Allowing you to move toward your future
Living your best life to the fullest extent…

When I open my mouth not a sound comes out
I can't speak for there is no more reason for me to talk
The music plays in the background and my heart fills with joy
Suddenly it makes sense to try to make a sound
The vibration in my head and in my throat begin to shake
I close my eyes, lift my head and the soundtrack to my life begins to pour out of me
No one can hear me when I talk
But when the noise becomes music to everyone ears
I am loud
I am proud
I am the lyrics to my own thoughts and life struggles I have been through
Words do not form when I talk but the lyrics to ones own sound is the music to thy owns life

Spreading happiness
is just one
smile away……


Try it….

Stepping onto a scale and seeing the numbers go down is one thing but feeling the invisible weight being lifted off of you is even bigger knowing the stress is gone

I deal with pain and numbness everyday
Most of you don’t know it, but it’s okay
Silent pain no one can see
I am who I am
And I am me

Walks deep into the woods
Full of bright colors
No one is around but woodland creatures
Come across an empty bench
A little red cardinal sitting on the edge
I sit down, take a deep breath, close my eyes
I talk to the one I miss everyday
Dad, I miss you
I hope your doing ok up in Heaven
I talk to you all the time
Do you hear me?
Dad, I love you....

The cardinal flies and lands on my shoulder
Whispers in my ear
“I love you too”
Flies away...

Tears fall down my face
As I watch my dad fly back up to his “Home”
To watch over me each and everyday...

Note to self:

Today you woke up
Embrace the day
Start a new page
Fill it up with knowledge
Make memories
Love yourself
Say thank you
Feel blessed
Say a prayer
Close your eyes
Dream
Repeat....

Note to self...

I generally write on the spot
With no rhyme or reason why
Filling a blank page
With what I feel inside

Happy Birthday to my rock
Today we celebrate you around the clock
In 24 days we’ll be in Disney
Spreading the magic, just you and me
I hope today is special for you
24 days and Mickey Mouse will say
“Happy Birthday” to a special guy like you

Today I am better than yesterday.
Today I am strong.
Today I am loved.
Today I am living.
Today I reach for a better tomorrow.

Don’t follow, be the leader
Don’t complain, make a change
Don’t be cocky, confidence is beautiful
Don’t be overbearing, be humble
Don’t change, stay you
Don’t fall, be strong…

I don’t know you or what your going through
Loosing your baby is something a Mother should never have to do
A careless act of using your phone
Took the precious life of my baby so young
The pain in my heart ripped out from my chest
Now I feel like I have nothing left
Having to bury my baby at such a young age
Never having a chance to grow up and follow her dreams
My life will go on and I’ll get by
My little girl has gained her wings and is  now flying sky high

If your scared to take that step forward in life...
Put your feet together
Take a deep breath
Acknowledge how far you have come
Thank God for all you have accomplished
Then, and only then, will you be ready to embark onto your next chapter in your life

Our stories may be similar
The end result the same
But the journey for all us
Is a different game
We all played
Never being one in the same...

When I hear you calling
From across the way
Letting me know
All is okay

Look within the trees
Can you find me?
Search hard and you will see

I’m always there
When you are scared
Even when the tree branches are bare

I’m calling to you
From high above
I miss and love you
Just ask, I will come...

Out with old
In with the new
I will carry all the memories
Close to my soul
New year
Time for change
Strengthen from my core
Spiritual healing starts today

Ones true higher self
Trusting within the locked up gold plated heart of self awareness

A quite place
Just you and me
Under a tree
Sharing memories
Just like it used to be
If only you were still here with me

32 years and still going strong
From they day I was born I wasn't suppose to be here long
Being born premature
And without a windpipe
My parents and family were filled with fright
I don't know how I am still here today but
I am a baby miracle in every way
Living life to the fullest
And loving it so
Never thinking I'd be here
Where did the time go?
I thank God everyday that he kept me here
Spreading my infectious smile and giving cheers
32 years and going strong
From the day I was born I wasn't suppose to be here long...

A place we frequent often
A place that we love
A place of laughter
A place of fun
A place to dance
A place to drink
A place for friends
A place that felt safe...
A night of fun and dancing had begun
Laughter filled the air
No a worry or a care
When a senseless act took place
Leaving people running for shelter or somewhere safe
Shots were fired
Many were wounded
Others weren’t so lucky, losing their lives
The safe place we call “home” went up in shambles right before our eyes
Silence grew upon the night as many were left wondering why?
Why this place, why us, why now?
We came out for a night of fun and it turned so foul
We are now left here in tears and shock
Wishing we could turn back the time on the clock
Grievance now will take place as our safe zone of drinks and laughter has now been darkened on this tragic night

The art of speaking, is very challenging
Yet the art of writing, flows like running waters

At night
I’m the happiest I can be
Because your sleeping
Next to me

To have you there
Holding my hand
I feel safe as can be
Because your sleeping
Next to me

The best way
To end the day
In each others arms
When we whisper
“I love you baby”
To say goodbye to today

I feel comfort when you lay
Next to me
At the end of the day

Because your sleeping
Next to me
All my worries go away

The smell of your cigar and pipe in the air
A glass a wine setting next to your chair
For as long as I can remember I have called you Papa Bear
To this day even though your not there

Standing alone and glance up to the sky
I see a black and orange butterfly
Wings are spread as it’s floating by
Not a care in the world as it’s soars so high
I whispered to him “I love you and miss you so much”
In hope that he will deliver the message to my daddy in the sky up above
As I’m writing this the butterfly reappears
Swirling around my head then suddenly disappears
I believe my dad heard me
To send me love from high up above
A tear falls down my face
A flutter in my heart
Knowing you probably heard my message
Sent from the black and orange butterfly
From the ground to high above

Tears of happiness
Making memories
Belly laughing
Reminiscing stories
Car rides
Patio sitting
Watching movies
Cat playing
Chinese food
Dunkin’ Donuts
New Hope
Wedding bells
B and B
Family time
Starbucks guy
Good times

But now it’s time to say goodbye
To our family
Here’s to next time to making more memories

Tears of sadness
When we say “ until next time”

Beauty lies within ourselves
The way your life lessons will make your heart beat
Is the pulse that keeps you alive and going
Once you stop believing your beautiful
Then, only then, will you flatline.......

Step out of the shadow to experience the light you been searching for along your pathway into existence

The stars will align when I catch a falling star from the sky
Hold it tight, with all my might
Making a wish at the close of the night

A glancing pass
A childish dare
When I was a child
We got the timeout chair

We played outside
Til the street lights come on
If we were allowed
We would have played until dawn

Riding bikes
Playing games (outside)
Nowadays children won’t know how it was
That’s just a shame

Not all, but most kids
Glued to the video games
Television and iPads
No socialization to be had

Growing up when I did
Taught me to be grateful
For what my parents did (for me and my family)

Taught to be humble, strong and kind
Treat everyone with respect
To all of mankind

Taught us to work for the things we wanted
Work hard but also play hard
Was something they instilled in me all the time

Sometimes social media can be a twisted place
It sometimes feel like it’s a waste

Go outside
Catch some fireflies
Look at the stars
In the night sky

Hang with friends
Playing hide and seek
Mother may I and
Kickball, was definitely one to beat

If the children of today
Could go back to our times of how we played
They wouldn’t know how to act
Since a video game was blocking their way

So many things have evolved
Keeping up with the times is great
But social media has somewhat ruined it all....

Feeling broken
Purposely caused by the beauty of pain
No longer dancing through the hourglass of life
Picking up the broken pieces
One shard at a time

We handcraft our love  with emotion, hard work and existence

Building a foundation or sacred space

Sometimes cracks appear or the foundation starts to crumble

Picking up the fragmented pieces like a scattered puzzle yet to be finished

Even though it takes time and perseverance, you always manage to rise up

Building your space stronger then you ever could imagine

One step at a time…

Dear Lord,
Lay your healing hands
Upon this little girl
Ease her pain
Take it all away
Make her comfortable
Heal her soul
Let’s this little girl
Rise above it all
So much more
Life to explore
Dear Lord, please heal
This precious, wonderful, beautiful and amazing
Little precious, Addi Girl..

Healing from something that has traumatized you is like trying to mix oil and vinegar together and not have it separate…

I guess we're different
We never fight
We trust each other with all our might
I can't think of where we would be
If you didn't muster up the ***** and kiss me
Almost 10 years and I wouldn't change a thing
I love you always and forever
Baby, Your my everything....

Closer to your heart
The sunbeam of your soul
Shining bright through the mist
Rising above the fog
Drizzled with emotions  
Highly concentrated with love
Like flowers growing with self care
Expanding your horizons within the fresh air

Wake up in the morning
Doing our daily routines
Say goodbye to loved ones and say
"I'll see you later today"
After school
Work
Practice...
Day turns to night
Night turns to day
And your gone....
MISSING...
Where did you go?
Why haven't you called, come home?
Who just disappears?
Scared and alone
Cold and hungry
Family and friends fear the worst
All we know is that your gone...
MISSING...